Conflicts on the work floor, a revelation.

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Nuthatchnut
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05 Oct 2015, 2:14 pm

I have this job and every once in a while I end up in a rather intense conflict with a coworker. I always knew my reaction was a bit strong, but I felt this was justified because the other party (different people on different occasions) was acting completely irrational and just wrong.

(Maybe you see where this story is heading... )

I've been struggling with depression and anxiety and was recently diagnosed as having an Autism Spectrum Disorder. To me this was a total surprise. (Yes, I am that thick)

So I got into another conflict at work (it's a pattern) and afterwards I started analyzing it using this new found theory about me having problems with certain changes and with unclear instructions and me being not so good at assessing sensitive situations. A.k.a me being on the spectrum. And guess what...
That was exactly what had happened.
I was confronted with a change I had not anticipated, said change was not communicated to me clearly and the change was affecting the other person emotionally too, which I failed to notice.

So instead of escalating the conflict any further, I was able to take a step back and apologize to my co-worker for my behaviour the next day. After that we were able to talk about what happened and why.

Did I just experience a mature conflict resolution?!


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kraftiekortie
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06 Oct 2015, 9:39 am

Yep...very mature.

And perhaps job-saving.



Nuthatchnut
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06 Oct 2015, 12:16 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
And perhaps job-saving.

On the long run, definitely. I've got some credit with my employer, but best not use it all up.


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BirdInFlight
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07 Oct 2015, 4:58 am

Seems to me that they owe you an apology too if they didn't give clear enough instructions and put this change upon you unexpectedly.

You seem to be forgetting that THAT is kind of sh!tty too, on their part. They're not entirely the angels here and you the demon.

They didn't accommodate your need for clear instructions and they didn't go gentle with your difficulty with change.

They should apologize too and do things differently.

I don't agree with apologizing for becoming upset when it's the other person's actions that WERE upsetting, a dick move, and badly executed.



SocOfAutism
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07 Oct 2015, 5:19 pm

I agree with Kraftie. You never know when something like this is going to turn into a major problem. It's better to be the bigger person. Don't let someone else collect ammunition against you.