Apparently I don't understand how to get a job

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This is kind of a rant, but I'm also hoping somebody might have some advice. Every place I look at wants online applications, and a lot of them do some kind of personality assessment where they ask how much you agree or disagree with each statement, and I have a feeling I'm screwing those up and as a result I'm not even considered for a job.

I tried following up on the one job that had physical paper applications; I went in and asked for the hiring manager and someone said they'd go let them know I was there. I waited over twenty minutes in the lobby before another worker noticed I was not being helped, and said they'd just give the number for her since she apparently forgot I was there. I called with the phone in the lobby and barely got any words out before she said, "We outsource our applications to another company, they will contact you." I was kind of confused because I wasn't told this when I talked to her the first time, I was under the impression that they had their own hiring team. Then she hung up before I was able to ask her anything else and I have not been able to contact her since. I just want to know if they will at least let me know if they decline my application, so I'm not confused on what the current status of it is.

Every other place I've applied makes you do an online application, and to me it's never clear if they even look at the application. Some of the places even make me apply with a completely different staffing agency online so I have no idea if I will even get a job at the place I was attempting to apply to. It seems the applications always go to some corporate hiring staff that they don't tell me who it is, so I can never find out what the status of my application is.

I don't know why I even took classes in high school about how to get a job, apparently the advice they gave us on job hunting isn't even relevant anymore. They never taught us about these stupid online personality assessments with ridiculous questions. I'll give an example of one that was actually on one of these assessments: "Rate how much you agree or disagree with the statement: I know the answers to many questions." What the heck does that even mean? I don't understand what they're trying to test for with these stupid questions. I'm applying for a low-paying job at a grocery store, why do they need to give me such an intensive psychological test?

I am totally lost.

Have you tried working through a temporary employment service? A lot of employers hire through them, so that they can screen through a lot of people to get the ones they want. It's worth a try, and you can potentially get work experience in a wide range of jobs. This certainly would be good for you, as it would allow you to focus in on the type of employment that would suit you best. It also helps to have some kind of employment record when you apply for a full time job. And it also might give you an indication of how to conduct yourself in an interview. I wish you lots of luck, and hope things work out for you.

I have with at least 2 different staffing agencies, but they don't make it clear on how it works. I assume once I've filled out all my information online they're supposed to just contact me, as there is nothing else for me to do on their website other than click jobs to send my info to (which I did). So far I've gotten nothing. It's only been a few business days to be honest, but with all the signs out saying they are hiring for all shifts and such I figured they'd be a bit quicker to respond. This is a college town and a lot of kids are in school and can only work part-time, and I thought that would give me an advantage as I said I can work any shift full-time, but I'm hardly getting any response.

It's tough because now I'm just getting restless. I want to do something other than just sitting around waiting for calls and being pissed that I literally have no money. But now it's all in their hands, I can't even follow up to know what the status is, and they just seem to take their sweet time. Dollar Tree told me they don't have time to even go over applications until Monday. At least that was the one place that my follow up got some sort of decent response, but still, that's almost a week from now, and I really need money. My bank keeps charging me NSF fees every few days for almost $60.

A lot of those personality tests test whether they fit a higher-up's perception of the "ideal" employee, and strongly favor extreme extroverts who love to be the center of attention. Needless to say, some "correct" answers discriminate against those on the spectrum.

Unicru is a common test given and is notorious for that. Here is a cheat sheet for many typical questions they ask. (They also want you to have strong feelings so "strongly agree" or "strongly disagree" or the only "correct" answers): http://www.timothyhorrigan.com/document ... RMg2F.dpbs

Well that explains why I keep failing the assessments. I didn't realize they wouldn't even accept the opposite answer, I just thought maybe they use it to determine what position would be best for you. That is really stupid and unfair. But at least I know now. Thanks.

You're not being honest on those, are you?



Ha, I wouldn't count on it. More than half the time, companies don't even have the common courtesy to tell you if you've been rejected or not.



Welcome to the Taleo void. No, they most likely won't look at your application. If you put the "wrong" (ie. honest) answers on those assessments, the system will throw your application out automatically.



I feel you there. We were taught how to write resumés in 7th grade...



They want to see that you're an OMG HAPPY OUTGOING TEAM-PLAYER! TEEHEEHEE! So when they ask "I like meeting new people" you say STRONGLY AGREE! When they ask "I am often nervous around new people" STRONGLY DISAGREE!



Because capitalism sucks, and employers are idiots.

Well, I haven't been totally honest on them; I'd say I gave untrue answers on 30 percent of the questions which were obviously bad to be truthful on. But I guess I haven't been as dishonest as I needed to be. I basically would have to lie to some degree on 90% of these questions to even be considered for a job. Rarely do I feel like I "strongly agree" or "strongly disagree" with any really broad statements, unless it's just common sense, and apparently they want you to pretend like you're this perfect outgoing drone worker that never questions orders and is amazing with people.

Well, even though a bit of truth-bending is required to prevent such tests to be automatically thrown out; don't go too far.

IF you are hired (that's a hypothetical), they will surely notice that you are in fact quite nervous around new people, for example.
It is better to answer "neither agree nor disagree" on "I am nervous around new people". "strongly agree" is bad indeed, but "strongly disagree" will come out, so that is bad for you.


Perhaps it is better to look for jobs that aren't as focussed on team players: IT, data entry/analysis, repair desks at best buy...

But how do I get a job like that without experience? I would actually enjoy doing something with computers, but I have no formal experience. And regardless, right now I don't have the luxury of getting a job that suits me. I just need a job, and if that means lying I guess I'll just have to lie.

This thread reminded me of my first job at a Big Box hardware store (NOT Home Depot). They had a hiring fair and I arrived before 9am. I didn't leave until 3pm and had a sore hand from writing so much. I had to do test after test after test (with such ridiculous questions nobody would answer honestly) and even a pee in the cup the next visit before getting the offer of employment. What's ironic is that the tests said I would be a great cashier and was hired for that. I begged for months to be allowed to push carts, finally got moved there and LOVED it! I was literally so exhausted from a day on cash I would collapse on my kitchen floor after getting home.

Bottom line: employers ARE idiots and usually couldn't catch a great employee if it bit them in the face. Ironically enough, one of the rare exceptions locally is McDonalds: they always seem to get the brightest and best.

Data entry is easy-ish to get into without experience, and once you are in there, it becomes possible to get trained for other jobs trough the company.
I myself started as a temp for an IT company to translate some documents, and was promoted into User Acceptance Tester within half a year, with not even any prior formal training, let alone experience.

Online applications are such garbage, I dunno if there is all that much that is better now because of computers

its much more impersonal and the value of people is shrinking by the day

I should also mention I applied for seasonal minimum wage jobs last Christmas for some extra cash online and because I needed something productive to occupy my time. Despite my experience and sky high qualifications I never got a single positive response. I am beginning to suspect God himself would not get hired using these online applications. Don't know if I am either going to bother? Are they worried about someone being overqualified for a 6 week job??? Really?

I would check out that cheat sheet, and google for the other questions. Failing that, get a neurotypical friend to sit with you and help you choose the right answer.

I've never worked at a place that used those things. But from looking through tons of resumes I would just let them pile up, then go through them and put them in YES, maybe, and NO stacks. The no stacks would be people with the opposite education for the position and people who seemed like goofballs (a woman once put lengthy information about her kids and church in her cover letter). I would do online digging on the ones that were YESes before setting up a phone interview and have one of my employees do online digging on the maybes.

It doesn't sound like you would be screened so closely, but you must be triggering a NO reaction somewhere.

If you have an example of the questions and answers you could post the ones you're confused about. Many heads are better than one.

repair desks at best buy...

That also requires a Unicru/Taleo test. Mostly because its a fake tech position that in reality is a way to sell new computers even when the problem with a customers existing computer is something minor.

I never could pass those inane personality tests either. Or at least, if I did, they still didn't read my resume. I had to get a bachelor's degree to have any luck at all.