personnel manager calls aspergers "birth defect"

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I am a manager of a restaurant in a resort. We have a personnel manager that aids in personnel issues for all departments. Today I was dealing with an employee that happens to have aspergers and as well as a horrible work ethic. That's a whole different discussion...

Anyway, once this employee leaves the personnel manager starts talking about him having a "birth defect". He says, "We have to say they just think differently now, but he's really just mentally defective."

He has no idea that I'm an aspie and that I have a son on the spectrum as well.

I don't know what to do about this. I need this job and as you can imagine, don't want to wade into the anxiety churning drama of registering complaint, but it really bothers me.

Anyone have any suggestions?

It is probarbly best to just ignore it.
Perhaps you can help the co-worker file a complaint himself but, as you said, you need this job.
Sometimes it's just better to let things slide...

Just ignore it. The guy's obviously an idiot.

Agree with the others. Ignore it. File it away as personal knowledge that your personnel manager is an a-hole.

You know what? I would go one further and write in a little notebook that you keep in your CAR, not at your desk, that on this date, what's her face said that and this person and that person was present. Just in case she ever does anything to do you can have a mountain of evidence to take to someone else.

I recommend filing a report with Human Resources. There is no way anyone is going to learn how to handle being different if we don't stick up for ourselves. It may lead to sensitivity training, it may lead to a way to have a conversation. I don't know, but you cared enough to post it here so please don't ignore it.

I would say this is good advice. If at any point in the future you want to bring this up, you'll need to have it documented. Note time of day, with the date, and specifics of the situation. At this point, if you try to bring up some kind of harassment or discrimination case, it is just your word against theirs. One incidence of a passing comment isn't going to hold much weight. If it turns into a pattern, documenting it will be useful.

This may be the only incidence. Or it may be the start of a string of discriminatory activity and if you need it to defend yourself or back up someone else, you'll be able to present as legally admissible proof in a discrimination case.

Hire a lawyer. Your rights and the rights of your co-worker have been violated. HR is supposed to be there for you, but they are just as likely to recommend that you and you co-worker be dismissed for "disciplinary issues", without mentioning anything about ASDs.

It should not be ignored. Ignoring it completely, could get things out of hand. I would agree with the latest given suggestions.

Personnel departments are fond of BS which is why the allistic way of interviewing clearly gives unfair advantage to allistic and other neurotypical people rather than a level playing field that side to side
interviewing techniques would do.

Hmmmm ... but if the employee was African American and the personnel manager were to have made a racist comment about those lazy watermelon eating n*****s, you would have taken exception to this, right? Racism should never be tolerated under any circumstances.

And what if the employee had been a woman and the personnel manager said something about it being, "Her time of month." That would be sexism which is also not acceptable.

Why should things be any different because this person is an aspie?

Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 (Title VII) prohibits employment discrimination based on race, color, religion, sex, or national origin but Title I and Title V of the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990, prohibits employment discrimination against qualified individuals with disabilities in the private sector, as well as state and local governments.

With this being said, I saw in your post that this person also has a horrible work ethic. Although the ADA requires employers to provide reasonable accommodation, it does not require them to continue employing anyone who is simply incapable of doing his or her job.

So ... as someone who has been a certified teacher for ... my goodness ... twenty-six years now ... I would advise you to use this as a teachable moment.

Don't file a complaint.

Don't retain an attorney.

Meet with the personnel manager and let that person know that you'e an aspie. Help this person to understand that aspies cannot be typecast ... that some like yourself, have developed sophisticated coping mechanisms or masks that allow them to pass as NTs while others for whatever reason (and you don't have to get into the entire nature vs. nurture thing) are either not as capable or are simply unwilling to step up to the plate and to do the job that they were hired to do.

You don't need to be confrontational and you don't need to accuse the personnel manager of being an insensitive jerk because confrontation tends to make people defensive. You might also point out that unless a given individual has other problems, most aspies are NOT ret*d. On average, we have above average intelligence. You might also point out some of your positive aspie traits.

BTW ... we're in related fields of a sort. I'm a chef instructor. I used to work in the Vegas area but transferred to a rural location for peace of mind, quiet, and MUCH SMALLER classes.