Bad Interpersonal Skills at Work - How to Fix?

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I'm a 27 year old male Canadian accountant (CPA, CA), and I've worked in many different places over the last few years. I've moved around not by choice, but because I keep getting fired/laid off (just "dismissal without cause" - there's often a grey area between "fired"/"laid off", especially when the company is getting rid of other workers). I'm pretty underpaid for someone in my profession with as many years of experience - I'm making 50k/year Canadian, whereas others with my experience/credentials are at around 70k/year (even in a not-so-good economy).

The reason why I am often the first to go when there is a downturn or the company is overstaffed is because of bad interpersonal skills. Based on the feedback I get, people generally don't like being around me, but I'm never told what specific behaviours piss people off. However, I've gathered the following:

(1) I'm not very expressive - I'm "stone faced"/serious for the most part, even when taking to people.
(2) I don't really "build relationships" or "collaborate" with co-workers (whatever that means...). I simply just "sit at my desk all day..."
(3) Whenever I do talk/e mail people, I simply ask for what I want in a straight-forward manner, but it does bug people (e.g., some think I am too abrupt/pushy).
(4) If somebody pisses me off at work (or backstabs me), I stop taking to that person unless I really have to talk to the person (e.g., I avoid "water cooler" conversations with them, but I still talk to them if I need something for work purposes). That person then spreads garbage about me to other people.

Nonetheless, I'm always told that my work is very good/excellent (even if I think I'm slacking off and not trying my best), which is why I am able to keep my job (versus actually getting fired for poor performance).

Getting another job is often tough for me - people who interview me generally get the impression I'm "robotic", "too logical", "not fun", "boring", "not a people person" etc. I don't have problems with eye contact in the interview, or in answering the questions in an interview (I've been coached a lot on this stuff).

I generally don't like being at work either - nowadays, employers are cramming people into tiny cubicles without any partitions. I like having my space. Also, employers I've worked for don't like having their employees working from home. Also, being at work takes time away from doing "fun" stuff....if it weren't for the money, I wouldn't be working.

Has anyone else here (especially those who work in an office environment) dealt with these issues? How do you overcome them? I do want to be paid more....

I can relate to feeling like one is on the sidelines at work, especially when it comes to promotions and compensation. While my situation wasn't exactly the same as yours, I did have to do a lot of work rebuilding relationships and repairing trust in order to move to the next level. First, I made a list of people with whom I needed to make amends. I started with people who had complained to my manager about my poor interpersonal skills (it doesn't hurt to ask your manager for this information if you don't know already). Then I continued with the people who had been spreading garbage about me to their peers. I met with each person individually. I'd suggest the following template for each conversation:

1. Start by taking responsibility for the effect your words and actions have had on the other party. For example, you could say something like: "I don't regret raising the specific issues I raised, but I regret the accusatory and unnecessarily personal manner in which I raised them." Or you could say something like: "I don't know know what the root of the matter is, but I want to take the initiative to show you, a colleague whom I respect, that I care and find a way for us to be able to start over and get along on different terms."

2. Having delivered a sincere apology for communicating in an inappropriate way, describe what you are doing to address the problem (in concrete terms). For example, you could say: "From now on, I will try to have a dialogue instead of asking for what I want in a terse manner." Make a commitment that you feel is realistic and communicate your intention to change.

3. Having made a commitment to change, empower the other party to hold you accountable. For example, you could say: "I want you to be comfortable talking to me about this if it comes up again. I'm open to constructive criticism (delivered appropriately, of course). Don't wait until it's too late to have this conversation again -- tell me as soon as possible."

You should be prepared for some people being positive and others being neutral or even negative about this conversation. That's OK. Either way, the result should be a net positive if you handle yourself well. Having begun this process, you should make your manager aware of it. Showing that have the self-awareness to orchestrate a large-scale rebuilding of relationships will go a long way to boosting your political status, although you can expect that it will take some time before you're out of the red. In my case, it took 6 months before it stopped being an active topic, and another 6 months after that for people to really forget about the past.

It's also key to get regressions down to 0 -- even a single regression with a single person can undo months' worth of rebuilding. If this is not explicitly stated by your manager, you can be sure that it's implicitly understood. So don't fret too much if you regress, but keep in mind that it will restart the clock to some degree. You may not get the raise or promotion you want until 6-12 months after the last "incident" has faded from people's memory.