Job Interview nightmare

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I've had several job interviews within the last couple of months and I have to vent my frustration. (I work in the computer graphics field and I chose this field because I thought it involved more independent works.)

The initial meet and greet part goes well usually but when they begin to crack small jokes (about 15 minutes into the interview) and I often miss the meaning of those jokes, I begin to fumble.

Being able to have "small talks" with the interviewee is probably the biggest challenge for me. There are these uncomfortable silences in between questions and I think I'm supposed to say something but I don't know what. I feel that I'm making everyone feel uncomfortable from just sitting in the room with them. I know I'm qualified for the jobs but I think it's my AS that's preventing me from scoring a job right away.

Of course, I didn't get the job that I interviewed for a couple of days ago.

Well, the last interview I ever had, I kept the job for 8 years before getting the boot (after four or five increasingly bad management changes.) Things seemed to go well, so maybe some of the things I did differently for that one might help you.

First, I don't know what to say about the jokes - maybe not reacting to them at all can look a bit bad, because you aren't supporting the boss's ego, but maybe it can work out in your favor if it makes it look like you are serious about the job? (If you are willing to give a brief explanation of AS so the interviewer knows what to expect in the interview, it might make it easier to just say you aren't sure what he meant by that when he cracks what might be a joke.)


Make up and try to memorize a list of questions about the job and the work ahead of time, and use those pauses as an opportunity to ask one of these questions. It's possible the interviewer is pausing to give you a chance to ask for more information, which shows you are interested in the job and know a bit about what you are getting into. Or it's possible he keeps pausing because he can't read your body language, and isn't sure if it's because you are distracted by a question that is worrying you. (I'm told that questions to stay away from would be those about benefits, sick pay, vacations, and that sort of thing! Try asking about what you might be expected to do, your job duties, the tools you'll be working with, the sorts of projects you might be working on, and that sort of thing.)


Also, there came a point in my last couple of interviews where things started to get awkward, and I felt like there was something more that was supposed to be going on, though I wasn't sure what it was. I began to feel rather uncomfortable and fidgety, because I wasn't sure what to say or do next, and I began to wish I could be anywhere else but there at that moment. For some reason, I decided to ask for a tour of the place at that point... "Could you give me a tour of the place? I would like to have a look around." This had a couple of benefits, I think: it showed I was interested in the job, it showed that I expected to need to know my way around (as though it were a given that I would get the job), it got me the heck out of that office, on a more equal footing with the interviewer, and in motion, it gave me opportunities to ask several more questions about the equipment and the work as we passed people doing their jobs ("What would this be used for?" "What are they doing here?" "I've used something like this before, but never anything this big!", and so on), it gave me an idea of what to expect if I did get hired, it gave me my first look at the people who might be my co-workers, and most of all, I found out later that it pulled the interviewer out of her familiar office where she spent all her time and into a situation she wasn't familiar with, which made her a bit easier to talk to as an equal (sure, I was dis-oriented and felt a bit awkward, but now she was dis-oriented and awkward, too!)

At the end of the tour, my interviewer asked me when I could get started, and when I said "any time", she asked if I could get started early the next morning (instead of the "well, we'll call you when we need you" I usually got, where I felt like I got the job a week later when I was the last one they wanted). Also, the interviewer seemed a lot more impressed with me than any of the interviewers I'd dealt with in the past. I didn't take that job, but re-used that trick the next time I had an interview, and had the same results.



Try thinking of things this way, too: not only is this guy interviewing you to find out if you are suitable for the job, you are interviewing him to see if this company is suitable to work for.


I can speculate on why this works: you are usually going into his office, where he's in complete control of things, and, if you are like me, you normally just sit there and wait for him to ask each question, one by one, looking like you would rather be anywhere but there, while he gets more and more uncomfortable, while he's trying to take you apart and figure out what you are thinking and if you really want to work there if you look that uncomfortable with the idea. Being interrogated by the interviewer definitely makes me uncomfortable, but I suspect me asking my own questions makes the interviewer a bit uncomfortable as well, while paradoxically relieving him of some of the stress of completely controlling the situation, and distracting him from some confusing body language. These questions are a bit of a challenge to him, and he probably wants to rise to that challenge and prove his authority to you. Until he has re-asserted that authority (by answering the question, or when you say "thank you" at the end of the tour), it's going to take a little pressure off of the both of you. It looks to him like you are interested in the job and in his opinion and leadership, it looks to him like you can take initiative and relieve him of some responsibility when needed, and it looks to him like you know how to play the game and your position in the chain of command (by keeping the questions short, to the point, and consistently returning control of the interview to him.)

Some of the tricky parts are, as always, maintaining eye-contact at the right times and looking interested by using the right body language (I think I'd taken to using eye contact alright, but I'm pretty sure I still need to work on not slouching in the chair and fidgeting with my fingernails!)



(I actually look forward to interviews now. It's what happens after I get hired that I REALLY need to work on....)

Don't feel bad Bluepen. Most of my interviews were absolute disasters. But they were crappy high school jobs, so I got the jobs anyways.

In one interview, I told the interviewer that I was extremely nervous.....numerous times. I didn't realize until much after the interview that it was an incredibly stupid thing to say. Got the job anyways though....got fired after 4 months.

Try finding out as much as you can about the company and think of some questions to ask about the company (or the job), even if you know the answer already.

It makes you look interested in them and gets them talking instead of you.

Practice interviews. I had lots of interview failures. I started looking at each one as practice for the next. You don't get better at somthing by not doing it.

Good luck

bluepen

the jokes and small talk are often to find out how well you'd fit in at this workplace. Do you get easily offended by jokes (bad). Will you get along with everyone else.

When you notice them cracking jokes or doing the small talk, you can say - you're not much good at jokes, you don't mind them but you tend to take things literally (I do) so it might take a while to get one unless someone explains - and add that you are good at the graphic design, and hope they won't hold your different sense of humour against you. If there is a humourous aspect to the design project you get, they might have to explain it to you but you would be able to incorporate it when you understand.

Have a couple of examples of clean PC jokes that you do like. Ie pay attention to jokes that you like and take the time to write a couple down.

The best way to get a job when you're crap at interviews, is to be friends with people already in the job through mutual interest clubs or family even, and get them to recommend you.

Questions to ask - ask something that reflects the research you have already done on the company - if you know about a project they've worked on, ask them about that and if they have any more like it - especially if you think you'd like to work on that kind of project. Asking about tools and work environment is good at the interview stage.

Don't answer any questions about what you got paid at previous jobs, say that it's commercial in confidence with the previous company. The new company will have to accept that excuse because it means you will respect their business secrets too.

Ask about pay and conditions after you get offered the job. They may ask you what you'd expect to be paid, try to avoid answering that. Say you are sure they'd be offering the market rate, and subject to performance, you would expect favourable reviews (ooh got to love that public service speak). Be prepared to take a lower rate initially - subject to a three month review to market rate. Be prepared to remind them if you don't get it. If you go through an agency, they will take a cut proportional to your starting salary, so if you start on less your new company will appreciate that you are saving them money in more ways than one. However if you already have a firm offer at a higher rate, now (when they make an offer) would be the time to mention it. I've never been in that situation myself. Also if you are going through an agency, there is often a "guarantee time" whereby your company gets their money back or a free placement if you don't work out. So if you can't stand working there, try to quit inside the cut off time (perhaps 3 months) not a month after it (oops - I got that one wrong).

More useful stuff about getting jobs here
www.jobhuntersbible.com

The book "What Colour Is Your Parachute" is good too. There are new editions each year.

i have a hard time holding a job down, i can get hired almost anywhere exept services jobs that deal with the public. i usually do good at the interviews but when a few months after me starting a new job have past, i just lose intrest in it. like i don't see why i have to do anything to survive. and ultimitley quit. and then its back to square one. me looking for another job, also there's been times when i was working as a dishwasher and hated it so much that when i was on my lunch, i just left and never went back. i didnt even get my paycheck when it was issued two weeks later.

About ten years ago, I accidentally left one of my paychecks in my pants pocket, and it came out of the wash in a handful of unidentifiable little flakes. Management gave me such a run-around and a hassle over getting it replaced, that I gave up after the third try... (they even laughed me out of the office on my second try, telling me that I was out of luck and there was nothing they could do about it... how did they know I wasn't trying to cheat them out of money? ) I just wrote it up as a loss and forgot all about it.

About seven years and two jobs later, their lawyers mailed a new check to me, complete with an apology... I guess they were scared I would try to sue them or something, but that thought never occurred to me (And, last I heard, the managers who laughed at me had gotten in trouble for stealing heavily from the company. The thought occurs to me, that I've gotten hired way too often by incompetent crooks....)

Just had one and eye contact wasnt so bad because it only took 2 minutes and for a low pay minimum wage job doing part time hours which makes it easier, but also they didn't ask any questions relating to the company which was a relief since I had to do some last minute stuff if they had.

As to the jokes...

I totally would have made stupid jokes back when I was a hiring manager. I also would have judged people's reactions.

If you can't tell when people are joking AND if you are pretty sure that you can't fake a polite smile, you could directly say something about it. You could say, "I'm sorry, I'm nervous, I didn't get that." Or you could say, "I'm terrible at humor, my friends always make fun of me because I always get jokes too late."

The risk you take by not responding at all is that they will think you are judging them. That's probably the worst thing you can do in an interview. You never want the people in power to feel stupid or silly. Make it look like you are just nervous or not as dazzlingly humorous as they are and they will feel good about themselves, then have a better opinion of you.