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Drone232
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03 May 2016, 10:37 pm

Every few dyas at work someone will compliment me. I work at a dine-in restaurant where I do dishes and bus tables until I can find a job more mentally challenging. Every once in a while someone will say that I do a great job here or I'm a great worker; especailly Sundays when I bus and poeple will say there gld I'm there. The problem is that I don't know if its genuine or because I have Aspergers and they pity me. I do my best there and have been working there for over two years, but pretty much everyone there knows I have Aspergers and are always friendly to me and I can't tell whether or nots it is out of pity or genuine. Of course, I would never ask them this and would rather everything continue on as it has been until I eventually leave (I'm trying to get a job teaching now). but it's still annoying when someone tells me "your doing a great job" and I can't tell whether or not its genuine, becasue I have Aspergers, or some combination of the two.


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Jermaine
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03 May 2016, 11:53 pm

I always thought they did that so they can make themselves feel a little better about being human... but that's not always the case (just part of it). If you take your job seriously and you make things run smooth for team, then i'm sure they're genuinely glad you're there. Sometimes it's not genuine and they do pity you, but they want to see you happy, so they give "compliments" to reassure you that you're noticed (like they would a child which is why it can be so annoying). They mean well and will never see how what they're doing could ever be a "bad" thing.


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underwater
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04 May 2016, 12:31 am

It might be that you get more praise when you bus because that is something you do particularly well? Or it's a different set of people. I know what you are talking about. In my culture praise is not so usual - I didn't grow up with it much and it freaks me out because it makes me feel like a child.

Maybe try not to take it so seriously, say thanks and just focus on your job? What I see as a very positive thing there is that these people are actually supporting you and letting you get on with your job. They could have been creating drama and sabotaging you emotionally instead.



Yigeren
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04 May 2016, 1:28 am

I don't know, but I give out compliments often. They are always genuine, but I think it throws people off. Maybe people don't give out compliments the way that I do. I can't say about what NTs might do. They could be trying to make you feel good about yourself, or they may really mean it. I think usually people just want to let others know that they are appreciated.



kraftiekortie
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04 May 2016, 5:56 am

Ain't nothing wrong with that! :D