Coping with long 12hr days

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How the heck do you guys do this? I'm at a workshop at a college right now, and it's pretty much 12 hour days filled with projects and classes...the only scheduled breaks are for meals, the rest are all REALLY short breaks in between to move to a different classroom or a quick bathroom break. I'm really struggling with not being able to take the breaks that I know I need to "reset" my working memory, and it's making it extremely difficult to function during the day without nodding off during class or get a decent amount of work done on the projects. We also only get a few hours a day in the computer lab to work on the projects, which I know is not nearly enough time for me personally since I usually work slow because of slow processing speed. I didn't think I would need accommodations for this workshop besides a single room, but now I'm realizing that's not the case...

When a guest teacher mentioned that we could expect long days like this working in this industry, I literally came back to my room at the end of the day and cried for a bit since I realized that I am probably not actually cut out for my dream job even though I spent the last few years in college studying this stuff. I thought about emailing the guest teacher after class to ask how tolerant this industry is of people with disabilities who need accommodations during work since this person has been in the industry a long time, but wasn't sure if that was an appropriate thing to ask...

Welcome to the Working World.

We just do it. Men have been putting in 12 to 16 hour days of hard labor for centuries. It's about time that women caught up with us and learned why we die five years earlier, on average, than women of the same age ...

...yeah, I was looking for something more along the lines of advice or coping tips instead of mansplaining.

Your sexist attack deserves no more than this response. Good night.

You're joking, right? There was not a single hint of sexism in my original post, you are the one who started this by saying "now you know how we men feel" instead of giving actual advice.

The advice I gave was veiled in the comment "We just do it". We get the work done, even though it may take all the hours in a day. We sacrifice our health so that our families can have homes, clothes, food, and medical care, even if it means working 16 hours a day, 7 days a week.

"Just Do It" is the operative phrase. This means don't sit around complaining about how much work we have to do, or how hard it is, or how we miss our freedom. Once we get married - and especially after we become fathers - our health is forfeit for the sake of our families.

Of course, there are many men who slack off and put all their work on others, but they usually don't last long in the labor force. They usually end up alone, too.

Just do the work you're assigned to do, and don't complain about it. That's my advice.

Just a thought: maybe coping might partly be about accepting that no one can be their best self at every hour of a long day. Is it the optimal learning environment? No, it certainly doesn't sound like it. You'll learn from the experience all the same. You're already learning about yourself and how to push yourself.

A good teacher will respond respectfully if you share your disability and explain when and how you have the most difficulty. Be sure to mention the part about this field being your dream job. Maybe once you get a response, people might have more to say.

One more question: how do you make the most out of those precious breaks and your off hours? Anything else you might do to make those times the best they can be for you?

Out of interest, what exactly is this dream job you speak of?

If it's something that you are determined to do, I'm sure you could find a way, hopefully without burning out. But you may not be able to do much apart from working. You might need to be very careful about how you spend your spare time and look after yourself extremely well.

Are you expected to socialise a lot as part of the job/course, and is this something that could be reduced?

Unless your field is so specialized that the slightest shift in the industry would put you in the unemployment line, there are always alternatives. Side branches of your chosen field, less-than-top-tier jobs. Compromises. Sometimes you may find out that they offer far more than your dream job or career. Especially when they leave you with a life to live. Only get maybe ten decades; don't use up your best ones burning yourself out in a specific career that doesn't fit. Especially if a tangential one might be an unexpected, wonderful fit with just a small adjustment in goals.

First thing I'd do though, is verify that what you are experiencing truly is reflective of the industry, hopefully from different authority sources than you are now forced to trust.

Fnord, a 12 hour work day is way over the top in any standard. My grandfather working in the field all day doesn't compare to hardcore college projects that involves working AND learning all day long. And now back to Edenthiel:



I know how you feel and I have been there. Choosing a career is hard, especially if it turns out to be long hours of hard work. I think you should email the teacher and ask him about any part time possibilities. Also ask the college staff about any kind of disability support. There should be something if the college is large enough.

What do you study? Whatever it is, I can tell you: Things get easier when you are out of college. The maximum working hours is usually 40 hours, but I know aspies who work below that. Some of them are down at 25 hours, but of course this means poverty and high risk of getting fired.

Just to point out, in tech the max working week is, "whatever your manager can coerce you to agree to". Which is why I recommended finding a slightly lower tier - or just more worker friendly - employer. Many start-ups and tech companies grind through graduates and near-graduates like feed moving through cattle. And I think that was the grossest analogy that's popped into my head in a long time. Still, the end result is how they are treated far too often.

One tip for dealing with grueling hours is getting a little bit of exercise. Just a 20 minute walk every day makes a difference, particularly if you are stuck behind a computer all day. It'll help a bit with vision problems as well.

Also, re what Edenthiel said, a job that is largely done independently is easier to modify to suit your capabilities than something requiring group work, because your NT colleagues will always set the standard for what is expected of you.

One thing I wish I had known when I was younger is that a degree is only a starting point; careers branch off into different areas depending on which businesses they are in and how larges those businesses are. Also, things change. You get older, technology evolves and the world economic situation changes.

You could ask yourself whether your dream job can be done for a variety of business, or only for a very narrow field of businesses. Is it only project work, or can you find a maintenance position with more regular hours? I had a teacher say something very similar about his business, but I later realized that was not the only available business for people with that education.

Long post warning, I've been busy the last few days and couldn't get replies out sooner!

Believe me, I've been trying to keep telling myself nobody is at 100% all the time...but it's really hard to stay positive when everyone around me is so much further in their projects than I am, especially when I look at tomorrow's deadline! I thought about asking for some academic accommodations, but it's already week 2 of this program and I'm worried about making anyone think differently of me this late in the game. As for the off hours, I usually spend that back in my room watching anime or playing my 3ds before going to bed, or maybe running down to the convenience store for a drink and some scratch off lotto cards if I'm not too tired.



Please don't be offended, but I don't really want to reveal what the dream job is since people who know me could probably figure out this is me if they happen across this page on google...I haven't told anyone outside of family that I'm on the spectrum yet, and really want to keep it that way for now. I will say that it isn't a typical 9 to 5 job though, it's mostly working for yourself and people hiring you for their projects. The work itself doesn't have too much of a social component other than the usual conversations that come with someone hiring you, but getting the work does involve networking. I've been getting better at the social aspect of things though since my diagnosis, so I'm not too worried about that. I'll probably even be brave and go to an industry convention if I can somehow train myself to keep track of conversations in loud places!



There are maintenance/not in the spotlight type jobs, but I'm pretty sure those are working for yourself too. But that doesn't bother me since I could take the breaks that I need without some micromanager giving me crap about it.

I look at it this way: you are worried about letting people know of your difficulties this late in the game because you think it might change their minds about you somehow. You were also worried about a deadline that you don't believe you are meeting properly. Which concerns you more? If you don't meet the deadlines, then how can it hurt to share your struggle? What would happen if you told the truth, that you hid your challenges because you wanted to be like everyone else?

Hello. I am a lurker. Been lurking for 4 years now. I am so beyond myself with rage at this quote that I am doing something I have never done before: break my invisibility.

Have you never heard of ER nurses? Are you completely unaware of the Industrial Revolution and the women (and children) working in factories for 14 hours a day before labor laws were a thing? Did you fall asleep in history class during WWII month and not hear about women working in the ammunition factories? Lower class women (especially immigrants) work in fields, in all weather, all day. Those are merely a few examples in modern history...

AND THEN you have the NERVE to call sexism when this bold face erasing is called out?

What was your intention when posting that? What did you hope her response would be in a best case scenario? "Oh, I never thought of it that way. I thought that as a person with Asperger's I have huge difficulties working for that many consecutive hours with no way to distress and get much needed alone time. NOW I see my problem is that I am a woman. A spoiled, entitled woman. I will "man-up" from now on and conquer this problem. Thank you for your advice."



All right, I'm done. Bye. Good riddance to rubbish.

Something else has occurred to me! She used the word "guys".

I think she uses the term guys to refer to big random groups of a lot of people. Exactly like "mankind" is used. "Hey you guys!" is gender neutral.

But you thought she was literally asking you to fill her in on how specifically men work.

But that still doesn't explain why your response was so nasty and condescending...