Should you tell your boss about Aspergers?

Post Reply New Topic

Sorry if I mispelled it I don't feel like spellchecking today.

My father says I should since I've been called out about my quietness and not understanding "obvious things."


People ask me what's wrong and customers give me a funny look when I don't understand them.

Thing is I don't want to, once I do they probably won't listen or understand it to be honest it's none of their business..

Not everyone is happy and smiley not everyone works the same..


I have such a hard time making eye contact with everyone


Coworkers are nice but I know they're talking mess about weird I am..

"How do I know?

Because whenever I go on break all they do is talk about how annoying some other coworker is gossip all day..


Tired telling someone about having aspergers before they didn't get it they didn't care it didn't change anything it won't change anything now.


But what I'm asking is did you tell your boss about it and how did he/she react.

?

I've only had one small, part time job since my diagnosis (in middle age) and I didn't tell anybody because it wasn't anyone's business and it's not very obvious that anything is wrong. If you're having issues it might be better to go ahead and tell him before stuff happens where he has to keep correcting or helping you or something. That way he's not frustrated or at the end of his rope when you do tell him. Knowing in advance, since you are already having issues, can help him assign you things more suited to you. How you do it is important too.

What I would do is print out a short, one page or less article about what AS is and how it impacts you, and I'd find one that has information and issues that you have. Don't give him one that focuses on how it can cause sensitivities from light and noise or fine motor control problems if you have no trouble with those things and your main issues are with communication and processing. Finding the article should be easy enough, and make sure it's written for non medical people but isn't so simple that it's like it's written for children.

Then tell him something like "I'm sure you may have noticed that I have some issues with x and y (whatever you have issues with). That's because I have Asperger Syndrome, which is a high functioning form of autism. It doesn't effect my intelligence or ability to do the job correctly, it can just cause me to not pick up on certain cues, and to not be as outgoing as many others are. I don't need special accommodations or anything, and I wasn't trying to hide anything from you, I just didn't think telling you was important since it doesn't prevent me from doing my job. Since you have noticed some differences with me, I thought it would be best if I went ahead and told you about it. Here is a quick article that gives you an overview of what it is and how it effects me. If you have any questions I'll be more than happy to answer them for you, and this goes without saying of course, but I trust that this will just be between us and there is no need for the rest of the staff to know anything about my private medical history. Is there anything you'd like to ask me about it, or discuss about how this effects how I work?"

I'd pretty much hit all of those points and phrase it politely but with authority about what it is and isnt. If you're going to tell him it's best to do it now, and it's best to tell him if there are times when it's caused them to notice that somethings wrong.

_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

Honestly, discuss this with your Clinical psychologist on how to approach this subject with your boss because this might come off to your neurotypical boss who is not aware of autism and doesn't care. Bottom line is I feel the need to disclose it because things happen to me in the work place and also my bosses always OVER estimate me because of my presentation.

Being it that I had abusive parents who beat me and demanded I talk a certain way and look a certain way I come off as a rich well educated man and any job I get my bosses tend to think I am an amazing find which I am but when my problems come up its often a problem.

I've found though even after disclosing they still over estimate me and then they become disappointed in me but confronting it head on letting them know is really a good thing for you and your career.

Now if your one of those Xanga quizers or self diagnosers or your mother or family told you this and you have no official diagnosis then stop don't go to your boss because you might not even have Autism. Go see a Clinical psychologist get a diagnosis of whatever or they clear you of having nothing and then come up with a battle plan.

Could you try soft disclosure?

Hard disclosure would be saying something like "I have Aspergers" but soft disclosure would be about a specific thing like "I find it hard to make eye contact".