Is this an unrealistic expectation of a job?

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To my parents missing out on family gatherings Bdays for a "job" is being responsible! Being an adult!

Going to work the day after a hurricane "Well they have to go in it's there job!"

But sadly IMO if you see what your parents deal with doing a job it points towards perhaps you don't want one. Too much stress/anxiety/depression. They may not SHOW saying "anxiety/stress/depression" it but you can tell when they toss themselves onto the couch. Binge Netflix. Or complain all the time.

On the flip side am I happy cleaning house all day/read/t.v./Mario NO! But I don't want the "emotional baggage" of a job/work.


Is this unrealistic????

Find a field I love "you never work a day in your life" But I haven't found that "field" and that's chasing at NOTHING the rest of your life??

Jump off a bridge > "emotional baggage of a job"

I'm sorry. Maybe I'm misunderstanding you - Are you looking for permission to not work and just mooch off your parents for the foreseeable future?

Your parents have what they have because they worked when they would rather be partying. Your calling that emotional baggage is just callus. They did that so that they can provide for their families.

Just staying home and watching TV is not a life style, I don't care how much you clean the house.

You think that people with jobs get anxious and depressed? Try looking at people with no job, no future, no prospects. Then depression is a real issue.

There are tons of people on these boards who have no choice but to stay home. Many of them would LOVE to be able to go out and have a job. They would love to be needed somewhere so much that they felt called to go the day after a hurricane.

Sometimes people who stay home because of their disability find ways to keep the depression and isolation at bay. And I really want to acknowledge this. But they don't do it by being entitled about their situation, or callus about the sacrifices that others make for them. They don't take their parent's working to support them for granted. They participate in life, work and the outside world as much as they are able, in the best ways in which they are able.

If you have a family which is willing and able to support you, show some gratitude. Don't mock them for having jobs.

Living on disability alone is super hard - its practically a full time job in it's self. There are requirements and deadlines, and you have to have meetings at the disabilities office. And then, when all that is done, they don't really pay enough to live on. People who live on disability alone have to get by with very little. Tiny little apartments in subsidized housing buildings. No extras to get items they want. No vacations. No new cloths. At they end of the month, they tend to run out of food stamps and have a hard time buying food - and they can't afford a lot of good food at any time. They sometimes can't find any doctors who will see patients with medicaid insurance. It's a hard life.

BTW, I'm autistic. I have meltdowns, like every other day sometimes. That doesn't point me anywhere. It certainly doesn't mean I can't work. Having a meltdown doesn't mean much around here - what I mean is that meltdowns don't mark you as special on these boards. It marks you as autistic like everyone else around here.

I think you are only reading articles about jobs that reinforce your ideas. You don't want to work so your going to find every reason not to. And although you didn't say this, I suspect you think every job is in an office or warehouse. I am very stressed by my job sometimes, but I do love it. It brings my life meaning. I don't have a spouse or family or anything, so its my way of interacting with the rest of the world in a positive way. I'm not sad for having a job. And if you see me complaining, it's a moment of pain. It doesn't invalidate everything else that is good about my job.

I understand. From what I've seen from the people around me work generally involves going to a place you hate, doing stuff you hate, being around people you hate, and being miserable, and doing this until you can't take it any more and quit, get fired, or retire. Even the people that claim their jobs are ok or even that they like them seem exhausted and stressed out over them.

The one time I did have a part time job I was so stressed out and exhausted I felt like all I did was work and sleep and after 5 weeks I just couldn't take it any more and quit.

Even if I wanted to work I wouldn't know how to get a job (no education, work history, or references) and would likely burn out fast at any job I had.

I disagree with the fact that jobs automatically lead to depression. I would say not working would be more likely to cause me to have depression because I would no longer have anything to work for or survive with. I don't know how old you are, but expecting to live with your parents your entire life if you have the choice will become more depressing as you get older.

I know that retail jobs suck no matter what for most, but I would recommend having some job, hobby, or other goal to work for or I guarantee that you will be more depressed. I've been there and feel awful if I don't work for long periods of time or am able to do my hobbies. I've also noticed that balancing hobbies (drawing, jogging, video games) for me reduces a lot of the work stress.

I wouldn't say that I exactly love my job right now due to the fact this it is super high stress and I get paid next to nothing. I work as a medical scribe in an ER with insane stress and hours, but it is entirely worth is considering how much I have learned about medicine with the ultimate goal of being a doctor. I get by with the bills and such after saving up money from an old full-time job.

Overall, don't discount working as being at home without work or a goal is likely to be significantly more depressing and isolating. Work surely comes with stress, but is certainly manageable as long as it is balanced with hobbies or what ever else you enjoy. I've had a fair amount of experience with these things as I am autistic, working bad hours full time, and still very alive. It's all about learning and having a goal to achieve, no matter what society says about that goal.

I honestly think you should get on some medication for your anxiety. It seems to be affecting you because it's holding you back, keeping you from getting a job for one because you're worried what could happen due to horror stories you have read or heard.

I can understand the fear of working and not being able to handle it. You can try part time. Even if it means working a few hours a week.

^^^

Very unrealistic.
OMG your poor parents too

(Waiting for a topic on the parents forum about: my adult daughter is refusing to try earning a living and insults us for paying her bills)

I hate people like that; she should be thrown to the wolves!

But I know you wouldn't do that...you're too sweet!

I'm reading back over this thread, and what I'm seeing is a little different this time. I'm seeing someone who doesn't want to be forced to do anything.

I can really relate to that. I hate feeling like I'm being forced or backed into a corner.

That's one reason I got into alternative medicine. It let me do my career on my own terms. I'm my own boss, so I don't have to do things just because someone else says that I have to.

Well, there are a few exceptions. I have to follow laws and pay taxes and stuff. But when I talk about being stressed out by my job, it's always those things that I feel like I'm being forced to do.

I wonder if the OP can think of some ways that she might create a career that is her own business. Like opening an Etsy store for crafts or dog walking. That way, you can apply for disability and still work on having an independent career.

Living on disability is tough.

I recently started a "paid internship" part-time through the vocational rehabilitation office.i hate ovr but they finally got me something I can do and it is very part-time. I am starting off with limited hours and taking it slowly.

Yes, having a job to goto helps with stuff. A low stress position does not make my depression worse. And I am endeavoring to get off of ssd in a few years if I am able to.

I recommend a small job or at least light volunteer work to anyone who can deal with it.

Also, if you have a mental health or other professional, it may be good to ask them what they think about you working or volunteering for a few hours a week.