Faking it

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Hi all.

I'm posting for help. I have done relatively well in the job spehere but I was recently made redundant and joined a law firm.

The stress is intense and I'm majorly over worked for minimum wage so hoping to leave. What gets to me the most is the mental games they play. I don't know if anyone here has ever read that old book "the games people play" but it's relevant here.

I just applied for a new job in a new firm and new department but I realise now that I need to fake it.

So I'm asking you, do you know of any books that will help me fake it? I already own the aspie kids secerte to social rules. But I want to know more. I want to fake it so they just don't even suspect. Then at least I will feel in control.

Thanks for any suggestions.

Hi,

I can relate to "faking it" at work - I've been doing it myself. I can't offer any specific books or literature on the best ways to study it (I've found studying body language in correlation to emotions to be useful - not foolproof by any means), but I can tell you that your brilliance and desire to do well at work will shine through any social misjudgments that could occur. I have learned to own my awkward/quirky/goofy persona in the office and also pivot to "faking it" when the setting requires it - this largely, in my life, has come down to trial and error.

I find slipping into "Mr. Spock" mode serves me quite well in the workplace. I remain cordial, polite, and---most of all---professional, but I avoid workplace drama (especially politicking and gossiping). This is a piece of advice I would give others who struggle even trying to "fake it" regarding reciprocation, office party interactions, etc.. Essentially, you avoid the need to "fake it" altogether, this way.

One thing I've learned over my years of employment that has given me great success is to be really funny and friendly. It does not come naturally to me at all and it's the very last thing I want to do, but once I started behaving that way everyone loved me at work and I started making a lot more money. So my advice is to go out of your way to help other employees when they need it, crack non-dirty jokes (with dirty jokes saved for after work drinks on Friday nights), and just generally be really pleasant and happy to be around.

It's stupid, but employers base their opinion of you NOT on how well you work, but rather how much they would enjoy having a beer with you. Neurotypicals are a strange breed.