Annoying CoWorkers (and how do we put them in their place?)

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HI. I have this problem at work with this woman who always has to know what I am doing. Mainly so she can find or make up things that I am doing wrong. I realize it is because she is insecure, etc....but that doesn't help me deal with this woman. My work is not a competition with her, but she seems to think so. I have tried to ignore her, let the stuff she does roll off my back, etc. She has a habit of saying negative things about anyone she works with and is definately a brown noser. Sorry, now I sound as bad as her!! Anyway, how do I deal with this person? I wish she would just mind her own business instead of going out of her way to find out what I am doing. My two bosses have no trouble with me whatsoever, and even one time fought over me because they wanted me to work with them. I told my husband one day I might punch her in the nose, but of course that is not the answer. Anyone got any suggestions?? Talking to her is out, she sees me as an adversary.

That's the worst part about dealing with this kind of person: struggling not to sink to their level by replying in kind.

Since your bosses recognize you as a valuable employee, I'd suggest asking them for help/advice in dealing with her. Be very clear about asking for their advice to help YOU deal with the problem, not expecting THEM to take the whole problem off your hands (even though this may turn out to be the best solution).

I agree with pi_woman

I find coldness the most efficient way of getting rid of people who annoy me. I'm not sure it's the most mature method...but the stony gaze and short answers seem to work for me..

I don't have any annoying coworkers.

Tim

If she says something nasty to you again when other people are in earshot calmly speak up and say "Why do you always say negative stuff about me and harrass me? I have never done anything to you." Do not scream this. Just say it kinda loud so others can hear. Look her in the eyes when you say this. Then walk away calmly. She will never bother you again.

Other option is to confide in one of your bosses or the HR dept if you business has one.

You definitely do not want to confront her when its just the two of you alone. Because you want witnesses as to what was said and what everyone did. And you don't want to punch her in the nose. Don't be stupid! If you punch someone you'll go to jail. And you will loose your job and have a hard time getting employed elsewhere if you do something violent.

I dealt with a few people like this in retail, know what I did to shut them up? The opposite of what I usually do. I was super nice, and acted like we were best "buddies". Go up to her and say "hey hows it going" etc and do it in front of a bunch of people. I'll bet she stops the BS quick

just report harassment!

The way I deal with things like this is explain the situation in detail to my boss, so that she is aware of what is going on. That way, if annoying coworker goes to my boss complaining about something stupid, she is already aware of the situation and can diffuse it quickly.

Also, maybe your boss can reassign you to an area of the office where this person doesn't need to be, so he/she will not be able to watch everything you do.

Why do you care waht your coworkres think? Work is a place you go to get money. Oh, are we having a team cookout today during my lunch break? I'll be at mcdonalds. Mandatory meeting? oops it must have slipped my mind.

thx for that tip! i'm looking to find a job this summer and i don't want it to be a negative experience.

Since you are highly regarded by your bosses, I'd inform them and see if they have any suggestions. I would not go to HR. HR is really support for Administration. They will just contact your bosses, anyway, so you might as well go straight to them yourself.

I was in a situation where a co-worker would plant himself next to my desk and hang out. I eventually let my boss know this was occurring, and then the next time he parked himself, I discreetly e-mailed my boss...she walked by, pretended to do that backing-up walk, and told him that she required that I get my work completed in a timely fashion, and this was not happening because "people" kept hanging around. Even though "people" really just = him, it was a bit less insulting for him and he did not test the waters again for a long time.

Edited for spelling.

Could you put super glue on her phone when she's not looking? J/K

I think you got some great suggestions. Those annoying, gossipy, people are best when ignored.

AS, we have that effect on people sometimes. they poke us and prod us because they would like a measure of what we are made of... and yes that can be very annoying.

i have a co-worker who does some similar stuff to that. we effectively share a role and we have to split the work load between us. the problem is that she finds it easier to give me orders than negotiate how we are going to split the work. and on the whole, she doesn't act like she trusts me to do a good job.

now i'm happy to take the rap if i have done something wrong, but i hate it when people make an assumption that if there is a mistake in some work then it has to be mine (because of course, they never make any). there was one occassion when the MD found that someone had left a cheque they were copying in the photocopier. my co-worker announced loudly and to a full room of colleagues that it must have been me because she saw me with a bunch of cheques earlier. at 1st i assumed that she must be right but once i twigged i said "oh, no you must be mistaken as our line manager (ie the MDs second in command) was the last person to use the photocopier.... i do hope you were not trying to get me into trouble now!" there were some sniggers in the room.

well that worked and generally we are friendly. she can't help being the way she is but she trys it on far less now that she sees i wont take it meekly.

But your situation -next time she wants to ask what task you are doing, you can tell her and say but the job would be much quicker if she wished to help you. Or pry into what she is doing. she wont like it!