Turned down for 15th job because of my personality

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I've had nothing but low-paying temp jobs for the last two years. In that time, I've had lots of interviews. My experience is a draw for companies to bring me in. The problem is that I'm stuck at the interview stage. I've had fifteen jobs where I've been rejected and my personality was specifically cited as the reason why I was turned down.

I'm often described as very quiet and serious. My voice has been compared to Mr. Lurch and Eeyore (by my own employers no less). At my last temp job, my boss said that people in the office were complaining that I was strange because I didn't talk enough.

Three weeks ago I drove four hours for an interview at a job I really wanted. Getting that job would have fixed most of the problems I'm having in life. The director got back to me yesterday and said that, even though my experience made me a perfect hire, they were turning me down due to my "poor interpersonal skills". That makes number 15.

It isn't like I'm a salesman. I'm a CPA. This is a profession that's been so stereotyped as anti-social that there was recently a big movie starring a literally autistic super-accountant. Yet even one job that was basically nothing but sitting in a closet and processing payroll has turned me down on the basis of personality.

It would probably be easier to get a job if I was a felon or a habitual drunkard instead. What am I even supposed to do at this point? Faking it is impossible. I've tried, but the normies can still see right through the act. It's like my personality is a crime and my sentence is to live in a basement and work low-paying temp jobs forever.

Welcome to the wonderful world of autism, you'll find literally thousands of posts here that are pretty close to what you're describing. I can't offer advice except to keep going out there and getting kicked in the ass, eventually some lucky company will look past the outward appearance and see what you have to offer. Take an interview or two for jobs you know you won't get and have fun with it: claim like all autistic accountants you're also a ninja assassin, and then give the interviewer that long uncomfortable autistic eye contact.

My best jobs came from advancing within the workplace. I did the menial work to prove that I could do the advanced work. Once inside the workplace, I could move from one job to another. And, businesses love "hiring from within" because proven employees are a known commodity. So, I would recommend that you find jobs that are closer to what you do already. Once inside the new business, begin to advance yourself by volunteering for new and more complex positions.

As a temp I'm not an internal hire, I'm working through agencies. I didn't go perm at my last temp job because an internal candidate applied for my position and was granted automatic preference.

Temp jobs are all I can get because the recruiters can market me and I can't market myself.

Maybe look into different lines of work...I mean if you really can't get a job in the field you are experienced for maybe looking elsewhere is an option. There are other things out there aside from accounting that don't involve much socializing there may be similar jobs you could look into but not sure.

Have you tried though? Like what do temp agencies do for you that you can't do? From what I have heard temp agencies kind of suck to work with...I know my boyfriend got a couple jobs that way and yeah every one of them sucked. Also it was ridiculous hours, like two weeks of 12 hour shifts without a day off at one point, too low of pay for what it was and those ridiculous hours.

The managers where I work talk about the entry level employees if they seem to have any potential for doing skilled work. You can learn a lot about someone's work ethic when they are doing entry level work. Do they show up on time and do the work assigned?

People think companies are eager to hire those on the spectrum....they aren't. The truth is, if you have poor interpersonal skills and this is hindering you in your search for employment, it would be advisable to see counseling to improve your interpersonal skills.

People think companies are eager to hire those on the spectrum....they aren't. The truth is, if you have poor interpersonal skills and this is hindering you in your search for employment, it would be advisable to see counseling to improve your interpersonal skills.
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counseling serves a function. in the past, i have had a lot of counselors. some of them, in some ways, helped. some of them did not help. at least, not as much as they acted like they were helping.

sometimes having a counselor is better than not having a counselor.

sometimes having a counselor is worse than not having a counselor.

some of the counselors that i had, were extremely condescending. when i was 16, a school counselor had the nerve to ask me "are you a happy child?". in New York, some psychologists charge over 500 dollars per session. maybe those psychologists put more emphasis on the customer service side of counseling. the school psychologist worked for the school. thus, i was just a client, not a customer. so, she did not have to worry about customer service.

other counselors were totally obsessed with the Mandated Reporter Law. one counselor asked me Mandated Reporter questions 3x in one session. it was like, how can the client talk about anything negative, if every time the client says something is not perfect, the client asks mandated reporter questions?

seriously

and then another psychologist had the nerve to tell me to buy clothes from a consignment store. but we were not talking about clothes. and then he told me i walked with a "transgender walk". wtf. he was so condescending. and then he told me that i showed that i did not care about myself, by failing to iron my pants and comb my hair.

some counselors are pretty good though.

counseling could improve your interpersonal skills. all things being equal.

but the counselor is just one person. and the counselor is a professional and has to adhere to certain policies, professionally.

so, if your goal is to use counseling to develop interpersonal skills, counseling can only go so far.

Ditto.

Ha I am so with you there. In fact I always say that criminals have a better chance of getting a job than I do and it's probably true too because I am told they get more tax credits for hiring criminals. There are also more services to get former felons back to work it seems. Another reason I think criminals have a better chance is criminals weren't necessarily born criminals and people are born with disabilities so you are less likely to change who you are than them. It still sucks regardless because aholes don't often change either and it's more dangerous to pick them than us who simply just aren't sociable. We're not out to harm people we're just bad at socializing. Perhaps the criminal is also better at faking it than we are too so that makes it easier for them.


I don't have much luck with temp jobs even because I can't find any that I can do so far so I don't know how it is but I would think that temp jobs are better than no jobs at all. Do you put them on your resume? They should count as you've been doing them consistently for two years. You can also ask your temp agency to let you use them as a reference.


I've been to a therapist for a long time. It doesn't change anything. Actually she about gave up on me and suggested I go for disability a long while back.
Now if you can find a helpful job coach that would be the best as they would know better than anyone but as I said on another thread in my area no one is really willing to help you get into a job just like employers aren't willing to hire.
Also at some point poor sociability is unfixable. This isn't to say there's no such thing as improvement. You can fine tune yourself into the best you you can be but for me I'm pretty sure I'm always going to have these times where I search for words. It's just part of who I am. People need to do more to accept us the way we are or help find us a place that will accept us.

OP I've been told I should write things down that I'm going to say in an interview. Have you tried that? I haven't had a chance to but I feel like I've tried everything else so..

Last edited by Nickchick on 13 Jul 2017, 12:15 am, edited 3 times in total.

BarnabeRiche wrote:
It would probably be easier to get a job if I was a felon or a habitual drunkard instead. What am I even supposed to do at this point? Faking it is impossible. I've tried, but the normies can still see right through the act. It's like my personality is a crime and my sentence is to live in a basement and work low-paying temp jobs forever.
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Ditto.
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yeah exactly. habitual drunkards are easier for people that do not drink alcohol to understand, than autistics are for neurotypicals to understand. besides, there are plenty of habitual drunkards. and plenty of bars. habitual drunkards can and do hang out together. while the number of locations where autistics can and do congregate, are pretty low. and besides, some autistics do not like to hang out with anyone. not even other autistics.

felons. felons have halfway houses. probation officers. felons have resources for getting jobs. besides, employment applications (in the united states) explicitly ask have you been convicted? and it explicitly states that a "yes" answer does not bar necessarily bar employment.

yeah i ain't got no clue how to fake it .

faking it takes so much energy. and i don't know how. without copying/mimicking/plagiarizing someone else.

it just takes too much energy.

finding jobs takes too much energy. and then precious lil "people" had the nerve to fire my worthless corpse the third day.

everything takes way too much energy.

sometimes i lie down on the ground outside for hours.

there are so many methods of failure. and no matter what you do right, if you do the slightest thing wrong, socially, it could all be over with the faintest perceived slight.

perceived.

Well, the same can tell I. I was everytime very introvert and serious person. I can not struggle with myself. But sometimes it is not working. In this case, you can find a job to do at home or a job where there are no people ( like a library or etc). just trying to be more communicable even if it's hard. maybe some books or psychological help. The internal closed person can have troubles not only by this. A friend of mine is still single and she doesn't want to have any friends spending all the time at the job and at home with a lot of cats. And this is really sad. She is 35!

Are they giving you the "what kind of team player are you" question? Or something like that?

I think you need to market this Lurch personality while in the interview. When people are looking to hire, one of the things they're screening for is how this person will fit in with the people they already have.

So you need to put on your thinking cap and find a way to make it an advantage to be a Lurch-like character on a team. I find that to be somewhat easy. Here's what *I* would say.

"Some people describe me as the straight man on a comedy team. I am a more serious type, who likes to get down to business and focus on tasks. I enjoy working with other people. I am more of a listener than a talker, but I always ask for help if I don't understand or need help."

(you may not enjoy working with other people and you may not think to ask for help, but you have to say those two things)

Then I ALWAYS say:

"I would really like to work here. The work looks interesting and the people seem nice. I would like to be a part of this company."

Simple words, no buzz words, it comes off as honest.

Take it from me. I have gotten the job from I would say...85% of the interviews I've gone to in my life, and I am a time waster, a droning talker, an inappropriate joker, and a person who never cares about the company, whatever it is. I can always spin my own traits to make them sound great. You can spin yours too.

^^ It's that innocent and trusting face.....

Are they giving you the "what kind of team player are you" question? Or something like that?
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sometimes it is not just the words you say, but the way you say them. and your enthusiasm.

for example, a year ago. went to a job interview. 2 interviewers and 5 applicants. the interviewers took turns asking applicants questions.

one applicant had the nerve to speak out of turn.

the interviewers could have looked at that as being social and passionate. (favorable). or as being disobedient. (unfavorable).

likewise, vocal inflection, word choice. eye contact. body language. so many subtleties. too many for autistics to pick up.