Need help being independant and being a man.

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Hello everyone.

I've been attempting to scour the internet for all sorts of resources that might be able to help with gaining the independence and freedom I greatly desire.

I'm 22 years old and still live with my mother. I was diagnosed with Aspergers when I was about 15 years old and its put a lot of my difficulties into perspective. After going to college I left for home after 1 year thanks to mental health issues. Ive lived with her ever since and Im at my wits end on what to do.

I had an opportunity to do work earlier with my brother creating something for a client and things were ok. But unfortunately, I was not ready and lacked the skills to properly take advantage of it. We came to an agreement to shelve it for the time being and now I am more broke poor and depressed than ever.

I cannot drive and feel clouded and lost most days. I feel so very down I cant even think most of the time. I cannot drive (Well I know the basics but don't get to do it often) and additionally my family only owns one car which makes transport difficult. I feel so trapped and in a fog I want to break out. A friend told me that my biggest problem is that I need to grow up and I know its true. I'm still a child at 22 years old.

I've been trying to talk to my mother about it but she doesn't quite understand. I wish she knew. I decided to go look for services or anything to help get my head on straight enough to have a semblance of a life. The trouble is there's so much out there and I'm not sure where I even place in all of it. I feel like maybe I could apply for assisted living services or SSI or anything to help but its so much I just feel overwhelmed. IF anyone out there knows anything about this or can help, I would greatly appreciate it.

Can anyone help at all?

Hello Midnight_King! I know what you're going through because I am pretty much in the same position as you. I haven't found any resources myself for things I need help with online either.

If you're trying to apply for SSI you can call(or your mother.) the social security office that is closest to your home and they should be able to tell you what you need to apply. As for the depression, a therapist could possibly help you with that.

So what kind of difficulties did you have before you knew you had aspergers? What difficulties do you have now?

Hi Midnight,

Your situation is tough and I feel for you because I had my struggles with getting into the workforce as well. I think the first thing you need to do is forgive yourself for having a difficult time. Life is difficult, and when your brain works in a way that the world hasn't written clear rules for it can be even more difficult. It doesn't make you less of a man or make you a child.

The next part, if you do decide to pursue work... I had both failure and success with temp agencies. What's great about temp agencies is you can afford to have failures. If you get fired from a permanent full time job then you have to explain why you were terminated later on applications. If you get let go of a temp assignment then you can call that the end of the assignment. Until the temp agency itself stops offering you work you're not actually terminated.

It might make sense to put together a short resume, using the work that you did with your brother and be sure to have a "skills" section so that you can fill in the space where you lack experience with information that still would make you marketable in the workforce. For example, if you can type fast, know computers, are great at paying attention to details, have the ability to teach yourself things, or any number of other things you might be good at then put them on there (preferably things that would be attractive to an employer. Being able to cook might not belong on there unless you're wanting to work in the food service industry), include brief descriptions of what they mean if the skills are ambiguous. For example if you list "Typing" then list it as "Typing-62 WPM as measured by typingtest.com"

The hard part will be transportation. I don't know if you have public transportation in your area or not but if you do then it'll be a big help. You need to be able to get to an interview and to work if you get a job. In my younger years the public buses were anxiety inducing, but if you have the option then try doing whatever you can to accommodate any sensory issues you have. (I wore headphones as much as I could and would read on the bus). Unfortunately, I don't think that you can get SSI for not having transportation so you'd need to lean on other difficulties if you go that route.

Other than that... I'd say, good luck! Either way, be it through getting a job or through receiving benefits I hope that your life improves.