Job coach shouted at me for turning down a work trial

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How do I put this right? Well I recently been advised to apply for a job at a coffee shop which took place at a craft centre in the middle of nowhere. It would be difficult to get to by public transport so I hoped I wouldn't get taken further which I know sounds crazy. However, I got an invite to come in for a work trial so I decided to email them back telling them that I am more than happy attend and asked if there was a bus service within the craft centre. The café manager explained that there is no bus route and would be a long walk from the nearest bus stop. I started to panic and as a result I emailed them back explaining after careful consideration I had decided to withdraw the trial. It would be too difficult to get there from my home. They thanked me for letting them know. When my job coach phoned me up to ask me about it, I told him I had no choice but to decline. I tried to explain I had a good reason but he wasn't having it. He was NOT happy. He said he was disappointed in me for turning down such a "great opportunity". I tried to explain but he didn't want to know. He thought I was an ungrateful cow and insisted that I contact the café and tell them that I had changed my mind. I got very upset as he hurt my feelings and made me feel useless, lazy, guilty and that I am a failure. I became very depressed and phoned my mum to explain the situation and when she came home we tried to talk about how to handle the situation. I decided to call my dad to ask if he could give me a lift the craft centre as I got invited to come for a trial as he was the one who saw the job in the first place. He happily accepted my request but I had to call the café to tell them I could make it after all, however, they told me that someone else has booked for a trial and they said they would get in touch to offer me another trial. But now I am worried that the position will already be filled beforehand. The job coach will really have it in for me then. Professionals like work coaches can be so pushy. My coach is from a work programme that help people with disabilities get into work. He acts like he understands my Asperger Syndrome but I think he is faking it and is just punishing me for being unemployed. Does he expect me to walk in the dark in a countryside after work if there is no one to give a lift? And I don't want to get a taxi as the last time I went in a taxi on my own the taxi driver was rude. Plus the prices are expensive and there is no way I am wasting money on taxi fare. People on the neurotypical spectrum can be so bloody thick. Has anyone else been forced to apply for jobs they don't want or have been bullied by job professionals? It would be nice to here similar experiences but no pressure. Apologies for very the long post.

I do get where the job advisor is coming from.

They know that this is the open job market, and anyone who succeeds there is worth more in usefulness to the employer than what they cost to employ.

You are up against people, NT or otherwise, who are both competent and will demonstrate genuine WANT for the job.

In the book Different Not Less with Temple Grandin, one of the stories has the author getting a job repairing bicycles. To achieve that, is was unclear whether the deciding factor was the author's competence at bicycle repair or their willingness to ride a bicycle across town in the rain in order to make the interview on time.

I think the job coach felt disappointed because your conduct, measured against the above standard, demonstrated that the time they spent with you was relatively less well spent than it would have been with another aspie who could demonstrate greater motivation and gumption.

Measuring your conduct against such a standard is what you ought to want from someone who is supposed to be helping you make effective progress into the job market.

Or if you just want to hang out and chat, find someone else who won't put such high expectations on you.

I say all this not to hurt you, but in the hope that if you take another look at the underlying attitudes and assumptions you bring to your career search, you will be more successful in the future.

I wish you all the best.

I don't know it sounds like it really is too far away, so I think it is a bit ridiculous the job coach is refusing to understand that...and being accusatory. I mean a long bus or train ride is one thing...but if there's no stop near the work-place what is one to do? I don't drive either and yeah its not realistic to go to a job that's not on the bus-line especially if you don't already have money to spend on transport like taxis, lyft or uber. I think the job coach should help the OP find something closer....instead of pushing them to do something unrealistic.

Thanks guys for your advice. I am just dreading getting more grief on Wednesday as I have an appointment with my work coach. I tried to explain to him that I am worried about walking alone in a countryside and risking my life but he didn't want to know. I thought he would understand the reason I turned it down but I how wrong I was. There is a job club that I attend once a week which is runned by a lovely kind lady who would listen to anything I say. I have often thought about reporting the dickhead to the job centre but I am frightened I will have my money sanctioned. My previous job was a train and then a bus journey but at least it was easier travel. However, it made me feel both physically and mentally tired and I wasn't treated as I would like to be treated and the last thing I want is to go back there or do something similar.

Is this work coach someone at Jobcentre Plus and/or one of their contractors? If so, it is pretty much their job to be a nuisance.

I've dealt with many jobcentre employees (and the employees of their contractors/outsourcers) and most of them are a pain in the backside who seem to get off on making people's lives a misery.

If it is Jobcentre related, then the situation depends on what benefit you are in receipt of. On Jobseekers allowance you generally have to have very good reasons to turn down job offers or work experience. On Employment and Support Allowance, they can't make you do any work at all.

If its not jobcentre/benefits related, then you probably shouldn't bother with the work coach at all.

[quote="steve30"]Is this work coach someone at Jobcentre Plus and/or one of their contractors? If so, it is pretty much their job to be a nuisance.

I've dealt with many jobcentre employees (and the employees of their contractors/outsourcers) and most of them are a pain in the backside who seem to get off on making people's lives a misery.

If it is Jobcentre related, then the situation depends on what benefit you are in receipt of. On Jobseekers allowance you generally have to have very good reasons to turn down job offers or work experience. On Employment and Support Allowance, they can't make you do any work at all.

If its not jobcentre/benefits related, then you probably shouldn't bother with the work coach at all.[/quote

He is nothing to with the jobcentre however I meet him at the job centre weekly and it was the jobcentre who set me up with the workchoice programme which is part of the Shaw Trust. Which is where my job coach is from. So hopefully my money should be safe. I did read that making a complaint will not affect my benefit. I am on Jobseekers Allowance. I used to receive Employment and Support Allowance but DWP stopped it after I had my assessment because they said I was too able. I still think their decision is wrong though.

I've been in the staffing business on both sides and can tell you, a recruiter/coach isn't your boss and you can turn down any job offer for ANY reasons you see fit. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. I'd stay firm with him or ask to work with someone else. If you are stuck with this guy because he's a specialized coach, make him understand it's your life and you run the show, not him.

Maybe I should wait until Wednesday and see if he apologizes to me and realises his mistake. And if he hasn't changed and still gives me grief then I think I will move on and find some better help. But you guys are right I should try and stand up to him which I have been rehearsing some phrases as how to deal with him. I deserve better than this. Also another thing as he has been messing me about with my appointments. Either changing my times or cancelling them at short notice. I had another job coach within the same company but he was just as bad. Not wanting me to get a life and expected me to be in front of my laptop all day searching for jobs which would just damage me and my eye sight as well.

Work Choice is a Jobcentre scheme, but is contracted/subcontracted out to various providers (e.g. Shaw Trust). As far as I'm aware, it is completely voluntary and you can leave the scheme at any point and don't have to comply with any of its requests. Although you may wish to verify this with Jobcentre Plus yourself.

If they are being a nuisance (e.g. cancelled appointments) etc, then make a formal complaint. They should have a formal complaints procedure. You may have to take pot luck as to whether it helps or not, but you can't lose any money for making a complaint.

Hi, are you able to speak to the DEA at your job centre, explaining the difficulty you're experiencing with Shaw trust advisors? The DEA tend to be really understanding and could suggest more suitable options to help you get into work. And possibly put forward a complaint on your behalf.

P. s are you on the work programme or the work and health programme?

If your adviser has been cool with you before, then the bully boy tactics are probably because the end of the tax year is coming up - the adviser is trying to get his, and his company's, statistics to look better before they have to justify their performance to DWP. He's likely having it laid on thick by his boss, and then passing that on to you. He may even forget all about it once we're into April and his boss gets off his back once it makes no difference to this year's stat's.

OK, that's just a plausible theory - however; (please hold your breath) - I worked at a JobCentre for a few years. There, I said it, I'm "out" now!

[Side note: if they want staff, they just strong-arm people straight off the dole queue because the staff attrition rate is horrendous (just like the job itself). You don't get a right lot of choice in the matter because they already have your CV to prove that you can do the job.]

After I got taken off the "front line" (yes, they really called it that) because I couldn't handle it, I worked in the back-office, which handled training sub-contractors amongst other things, and I saw this happen for myself at this time of year every single year - a mad panic to massage the figures so that their contracts get renewed.

Ignore what your adviser says and find out directly from the JobCentre what your obligations really are. There always used to be a rule that you were allowed to refuse anything involving a commute of more than a certain length of time, even for a mandatory JobCentre referral. I imagine that there is still a rule something like this (it's been quite a while since I was there); so find out what that limit is if you can (preferably in writing), estimate a walking time (in the dark!), and sling that in your adviser's face and tell him to piss off. ('scuse language; thinking about working in that place gets my bile up!)

Don't bother complaining via the training provider unless that is the only route; they will do anything they can to prevent the complaint "falling through" to the JobCentre because it makes their stats look bad - complain directly to the DEA at the JobCentre if you can and let them handle it. If he has raised his voice to you, that should be more than sufficient grounds for a complaint, and if he has not made reasonable adjustments for your disability, definitely so (the Equality Act 2010 and Autism Act 2009 are the relevant legal references.)

You didn't hear this from me!