Bullied in every workplace

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Every single job I've ever had, I've been unpopular and I don't know why. I don't tell anyone I have Asperger's when I apply or get in, I know how to "turn on the charm" and function in a way that masks the cues, but I've never been able to hold a job down because the bullying has been off the charts and specifically directed at me. I've been singled out, treated badly and my managers and coworkers have made deliberate efforts and went out of their ways to treat me like a lower class citizen and make me feel unwelcome. I get treated like a servant, they don't train me on everything, scold at/yell at/embarrass/insult me in front of everyone, make fun of me, gossip about me, they don't even speak to me cordially and it gets to a point where I become so anxious and depressed I develop stomach problems, insomnia and unhappiness about life because I know I'm going to go back to that hellhole. They display passive-aggressive/microaggressive behaviors to make things harder for me (putting trash in the dish bin so I have to dig it out even though the trash can is right there, etc.) and scold me when I'm pulling their weight, multitasking, taking care of guests and getting the dirty work done that they don't want to do. I don't gossip about my coworkers, I don't talk about personal information, I try to greet my coworkers and smile but they snub me, I'm not doing anything wrong, I never call in, I'm always perfectly on time and I just can't seem to figure out why nobody likes me. They are especially mean to me and it seems like it starts from my first day, they already have it in their minds that they don't like me and act on it. I'm in the most toxic workplace I've ever been right now and my mom won't let me quit but I find myself hoping they yell at me for something that's not my fault and lose their temper to firing me so I won't have to go back because this is just ridiculous. I'm never treated with respect, decency or equality and it's a cosmic mystery I can't crack. I can't figure it out. At every single job I have, I'm the black sheep everyone gangs up on and treats like dirt even though I'm nothing but nice to me and the CUSTOMERS love me so that speaks volumes about the staff.

Has anyone else had this experience?

It says you're 24...so what do you mean your mom won't let you quit how would she prevent you?

I am assuming you're working in a restaurant and those can be very toxic places to work, have you had any other sorts of jobs? I have tried working in restaurants before once when I was 17 I tried waiting tables and not too long ago I was working at a place as a dish-washer and it did not work out well either of those times.

I am now working at an arc thrift store in the back, tagging clothes and I much prefer that to the restaurant positions. So anyways it might be worth looking into a different sort of job.

I live with her because I don't make enough money to live alone, minimum wage part time just enough to pay my phone and car insurance bills. I've tried getting retail jobs but the same thing happened and now it's hard for me to even get an interview even though I'm trying to get out of food service and keeping a log of every place I apply. I feel like there's some secret information going around about me and my town has me blacklisted or something, that's how much of a reject I've been treated like in my experiences. I've applied in clothing, supply stores, pet shops, etc. with finely tuned resumes I paid to have help with, professional cover letters, showing my face and calling back, etc. and nada. I carry myself well and keep an attractive appearance, so I don't get it. It seems like I can't get ahead in life and I'm hated in society and I just don't understand it because I'm kind and competent.

You could consider revealing your diagnosis and if they keep bullying you you need to contact a lawyer / activist group that deals with disability related work discrimination and know your rights. You may even be able to ask for compensation if this has affected your mental health or economic status. be well

As helpful as that sounds, I'm in a position where I can't do that because of another current lawsuit with my last part-time job! I suffered damage to my hearing due to negligence and refusal to comply with safety procedures, thus exposure to harmful decibel levels.

I see, sorry to hear that

You may have to suck it up for now and wait until the other lawsuit is done and dusted. Once you are in a more stable position, I'd recommend looking for a new job and going for jobs that play to your strengths rather than weaknesses. (e.g. if working in a restaurant is stressful due to noise / fast paced consider office jobs etc)

Many times NTs will misinterpret the thoughts of an Aspie. They focus on the eyes and the area around the eyes and then incorrectly think they know what an Aspie is thinking.

One of the things I have started to do is wear a type of sunglasses known as mirrored sunglasses. The outside is coated with a mirror finish but the inside is not tinted. So the glasses can be worn indoors. They prevent anyone who looks at me from misinterpreting my intentions. This might be a solution. The coating I chose is blue.

Blue is peaceful, tranquil and symbolizes loyalty. Blue is reliable and responsible. It exhibits inner security and confidence.

If you look at the girl in this article, you will get an idea of the glasses I am talking about.

'Wing mom' goes viral for playing son's matchmaker at grocery store

Yes, but only at first. Once I gained professional skills and accreditation, the overt bullying stopped. However, the covert 'sniping' became more apparent -- jealous people saying or doing anything they could to either make me look bad or take credit for my work.

The good news is that those people eventually either made trouble for themselves and got fired, or they got frustrated and quit.

I'm planning to take a medical terminology class and a Microsoft Excel class so I can have a front office job in a medical facility. Weekends off, no food contact, sounds a lot more ideal. I'm sure it'll look more attractive on my resume, too. I'm tired of having to jump through fiery hoops just to measure up in society and work extra hard.

I think you need to contact the department of labor and perhaps the EEOC. I would also keep documents of everything they are doing to you.

good plan!! sounds like you know what to do

Some things I had to realize about my experience at work was that people would take it personally if I didn't socialize with them and some people are "rude" to everyone. It's often somewhat of a competition and you've got to pick a side and take your lumps to prove you "can take it." In the end most people don't mean serious harm, they're just not going to do the extra work of masking their negative emotions from people they don't feel they owe that to.

When you say you don't gossip, it sounds to me like you mean what I meant when I said the same thing and you're just really socially disconnected and you don't know what the other people are dealing with so you step on a lot of toes without realizing it. The reason people keep gossiping so much is that it actually performs a function.

Autistic people in general refuse to recognize the social and emotional work neurotypicals do because autistic people just aren't that good at it.

I'm not really following, @dan82. I tried to befriend them and ask how they're doing, etc. and talk about things like music, etc. but the behavior I've observed from them is hostile. So I have made an effort to crawl out of my shell, put myself out there and paint myself in a positive and pro-social light but they have it in their minds that they hate me for some reason and I'm suffering. I know that I haven't said or done anything to offend or exclude anyone by being solitary. This "gossiping" I speak of is hateful and catty/clique-y talking about others or snide comments behind others' backs or even right there about me as if I'm deaf. They're also cutting my hours, sending me home early when it's totally unnecessary and making it obvious I'm unwanted there.

Update:

I believe my coworkers stole my camera.

I have a very clean house, always keep my camera in my purse, never leave it laying around. When I came home from my last shift, I noticed my camera was missing. I checked my car, the couch cushions, every nook and cranny in my house (believe me) and it's nowhere to be found. I was not using it or playing with it at work either, and there are no lockers in the office where the women store their purses while they work. My coworkers gave me an especially hard time that day and were huddled together, laughing at me between spells of yelling at me, verbally attacking me, etc. and one of them disappeared into the office for a very long time. She is not a manager, but seems to enjoy pretending she is to look high and mighty. In retrospect, I think she might have tampered with the security cameras and gotten into my personal belongings and stolen my camera. It's a silver handheld digital Nikon. It's gone, which is completely bizarre.

Today I asked the store manager if he'd seen my camera anywhere and he showed me the cupboards in which lost things are usually stored, and I didn't see it but his tone was very clipped, quiet and sheepish as he said no, he didn't see it --- as if he had no clue what I was talking about. It seemed like he was going out of his way to play dumb/innocent. When I was sent on my 10-minute break, I went to the office to get my purse and dinner from the cooler and he looked at me when I was on my way there and asked "What are you doing?" (paranoid much?) and I told him I was taking my break and he said "....okay?" and moved along, but the office door was open with a chair blocking the entrance. Later, I asked another manager in charge if she'd seen it --- super sweet, not accusing anyone of theft and hypothesizing that it might've spilled out of my bag on my way out --- with the woman who was harassing me right next to us within earshot. Later, that woman kept hanging around, against the wall with her hands behind her back, doing nothing and she wouldn't look at me. I find it very odd. My dad seems to think they got my camera, too.

I'm just so upset right now, I don't know what to do or think. Precious photos from once-in-a-lifetime trips are there that haven't been loaded into my computer, that camera was a birthday gift and I'll never be able to afford another one. Even if gifted one, it won't make up for the memories now lost.

I am VERY careful with my belongings and never lose anything. I'm not careless, messy, disorganized, hasty or forgetful. That is my prized possession. I wouldn't have brought it with me if I didn't come on a whim because someone needed their shift covered, and I didn't come home with my camera. I noticed it was missing right away.

I'm just so very sad about all of this. I'm probably never gonna get it back.

The camera may have been misplaced. Many times I lose track of something and then a day or two later it will come to me where I should look and then I find it again.

Or it could be someone pulling your chain. They may recognize that this camera is very important to you and take it just to set you off (stress can lead to a meltdown and paranoia that can lead to your termination). In that case if you act like the camera isn't really that important to you, the perpetrator will lose the trigger they hold over you and return it magically as if it never disappeared at all. So I would pretend for awhile, that the lost camera doesn't really matter, and see what happens.

It's better for you to act like the camera is not a big deal in front of your bullies, meanwhile, I have heard that it's best to find a spot where not a lot people go and cry for a while. Crying is not a sign of weakness, it is an outlet for anger and it will also save your position too.

As for making friends there, it sounds like they don't have anything that you would want. First of all, they are abusing you and treating you like dirt because they have insecurities of their own therefore they are not happy people. Otherwise, they would not make you feel bad about yourself like that.

As for learning new skills, have you ever thought about going to Lynda.com? They are owned by LinkedIn and they have lots of tutoring sessions that teach you anything from using excel to graphic design. While they are mean to you, maybe learn how to use different software and build a portfolio of all these projects. Then you bring it into work and show these people. If you work with customer service, show the costumers as well. That could land you a very good job if not better.