Help - old guys flirting with me
Age 18, female in high school. Sometimes I look younger, sometimes older, I’ve been told.
I got a part time job as a grocery clerk. Most of the customers are middle age or older. A few times, an old guy started flirting with me, some involving an innuendo. It catches me completely off guard, and I am not sure how to respond. I usually just say I’m focusing on studies, and hope they go away (and they always do).
Am I handling this properly? What else should I have done or said?
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Life ... that's what leaves the mess. Mad people everywhere.
The next time he starts in on the innuendo and double entendres, explicitly tell him that such conversation is unwelcome and is inappropriate at work; that you're focused upon the task which you're being paid to perform, and that he should do the same.
If it continues unabated, complain to your manager. Under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act, we are all entitled to a safe workplace free of sexual harassment.
Be honest. Like not bluntly honest but subtly tell them they're too old for you. You can do this by saying things like 'oh, that's like something my dad says', 'I think that sort of joke was popular when my dad was my age'. If they're really old say 'you look like my granddad', 'were you at school with my granddad?'. Something that says 'look Mr, I look like a kid, I think you're a joke [obviously you don't think that but laughing at them hurts their pathetic, victim seeking egos], there's no chance'.
Report that this stuff is going on because this shouldn't be happening to anyone and especially not someone who's 18 and looks younger. These guys are pervs. They're doing it because you're young and can't handle yourself/they don't think you're as likely to be able to handle yourself and because they have fetishes for real school/college girls.
I can't remember your location but if you're in the UK say 'I'm focusing on sixth form', if in the US this works especially well because you leave school at 18 'I'm busy in high school'. If it was an honest mistake of thinking they were hitting on a younger woman but one in her 20s, they'll leave you alone. If not, if you say it slightly loud, but not too loud, people will be aware that some old perv is hitting on teenagers and hopefully the social pressure will shame them out of it. If you're already at uni, this might not help but even saying 'that first year of undergrad is really hard, I went there straight from school' lets people know your age.
It's rooted in a desire for someone who's vulnerable, which makes it sick.
I look 15 and every time I get hit on by a guy, it tends to be because they either think I'm 15 or think I have that barely legal look going on. It really pisses me off. They ought to be focusing on women their age or at least on women who've passed their teen years.
And if you're misreading signals, a friendly old guy will take 'you remind me of my dad' as a real compliment because he'll be trying to be fatherly rather than hitting on you. Quite a few people do this, although they're usually female. I often get told by people who know my age and who are in their 50s, 'oh my daughter does this' or 'you have the same name as my daughter'.
Just as long as he doesn't have a 'dd/lg' fetish then the daddy stuff will be right up his street...
And obviously the same advice applies from your childhood like don't get into strange men's cars, but you're 18 so you know this.