I'm hitting my limit

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When I leave in 10 minutes I will be going to my 19th day straight of work (between 2 jobs). I have to walk and it is VERY hot outside. I use an umbrella to help. My feet hurt. My legs feel heavy. Someone massaged my back recently and I think they were too aggressive; it hurts. I REALLY hate extreme temperatures and I hate the wind.

I'm starting to slip psychologically. I about exploded at work yesterday. Today I will work over 8 hours, and it's at the job I dislike and requires improvisational social interaction. I finally get this Tuesday off.

I have to do this or I will starve and go homeless. There is no "support." Despite all this effort, I will mostly live at subsistence and save maybe 300 a month, but probably less. This city is very expensive and the logistics of moving are not within my capacity at the moment.

This is mostly suffering, and I'm beginning to have very mild suicidal ideation from it. This existence is literally not worth continuing in its current format. I'm trying as hard as I can and it's not working out.

It is an idea for a plan to a new adventure. I left the railways as I found myself not thinking straight and rather suicidal... You could do with a cheaper area to live so you do not have to do two jobs to survive.
I can't say what that would be. I don't know much about the USA and your unique qualites. I hope what I write is something to look forward to and not going to add to any frustrations. I hope all is sorted and you get some more time off to relax...

Believe me i know what you mean. I work almost 50 hours a week and i'm always Exhausted and sleepy.. I have no idea what to do either.

I had a very difficult time that day I posted the message. I basically emotionally snapped, although I did my duty. My boss took me aside and asked me questions, and I told her my circumstances. She asked what she could do to help, which hopefully indicates that things can improve. I really hope I don't get fired, but I'm increasingly dreading going and I don't know if I can maintain the kind of persona I do at my other, more enjoyable job.

I'm doing this job for its insurance benefits, as I have not seen a doctor in over a decade. I feel trapped in it at this point, and I just hate having to put on that superficially friendly demeanor when I'm physically exhausted and mentally on edge.

Ooh. Your boss is a nice person to ask that. Also, they really appreciate you there.