Can't find a job

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Hi, everyone. New to posting here but long time lurker. I finally decided to sign up because I am having extreme difficulty and need some opinions from others who understand my situation. Apologies in advance that I'm so long-winded. :-/

A little backstory: I was diagnosed with ASD at 19 and I am about to turn 21. I have worked two jobs in the past, one as an unofficial bookkeeper for a neighbour's company for a year and a half (later not needed anymore so that fell through before it became a "thing"), and once I worked as a janitor but I was fired after a week because apparently I am too incompetent to even scrub toilets correctly.

I have no skills whatsoever. I am effectively completely useless. I can't even tie my shoes without difficulty because my motor control is terrible and it doesn't help that I am visually impaired. I have so much trouble following even the simplest directions and new situations overwhelm me so much and give me incredible amounts of anxiety. I mean, just the other day, my boyfriend attempted to teach me how to use a can opener and I was practically in tears! It's absolutely ridiculous!

People have suggested retail or cashier work (completely out the question because, although I do like people, I have very poor social skills and the stress of a job like that would probably kill me outright). I've looked for more janitorial work or night shift cleaning jobs but all of them are an hour or more away by bus but again, I'm visually impaired and cannot drive myself. Cooking is out the question because it would end in someone's death probably and I'm hardly allowed to even make my own meals because I'm so incredibly uncoordinated and get distracted and frustrated so easily.

I'm so exhausted from looking for a gig that would suit someone as worthless as myself. I don't have marketable interests, nor do I have more than a GED. Every new skill I've tried to learn, I've failed miserably at, and I'm just tired of failing and terrified that I'll never be able to catch up to other people my age if I can't find work. I feel like a waste of space and I'm embarrassed to even exist around my friends and boyfriend because they're all adults with jobs and money and their own places and I still feel like a child.

What can I possibly do? I don't even qualify for government assistance so I'm right f****d if I can't find work. I'm just so upset.

Why do you believe you don't qualify for government assistance?

Yes you can like take a civil service test in your state and qualify for any given position that matches your interests. You could connect to government assistance that way.

I was only offered a chance at assistance programs and the like when I was getting my ASD evaluation and after I was diagnosed, they concluded that I wasn't disabled enough to qualify for anything, suggested I find a fast food position, and sent me on my way. I also applied for disability a couple of times and was denied each time.

Like you OP I'm also very visually impaired & have some colorblindness & cant drive cuz of it. I also have a tremor disorder that acts up when doing things with fine motor-skills like tying shoes so I wear shoes with velcro. I can tie them but it's trickier for me. I'm also dyslexic & have other related learning disabilities so i really s#cked in skewl. I only passed a 3rd of my classes because my grades were curved.

The 3 jobs I had all involved cleaning. My 1st was a dishwasher, 2nd was doing floor-care at a super WalMart so the store was open while I worked(I was originally hired for stocking but was completely lost so they transferred me to different department) & my 3rd was doing custodial stuff at a sporting goods store while the store was open. I really didn't think I could handle those jobs at 1st either but people were willing to work with me abit more cuz they saw I was really trying so I caught on after abit. I didn't think I could really handle the social stuff in retail but my reviews all said I did OK with assisting customers. I mostly just showed them where things were whey they asked or found a stocker to assist them if I couldn't & I also used manners. It's possible you can handle more than you think you can OP if people are willing to teach you & ease you into things. I'd recommend looking for dishwasher jobs. It's mostly just running a machine & a little janitorial stuff. It's pretty easy 1ce you get the hang of things.