Am i not meant to work?

Post Reply New Topic

I've been working for 3,5 months now. But it doesn't seem to be going well. (I work at a law office as an intern) my employer recently asked me if i have a problem with being careful and that my senses were too dull. He asked me to see a psychologist, i told him i already see one and she only said that i might have adhd. I'm tired of feeling dumb and making mistakes everyday. I think maybe i am just not a person that is supposed to work. I get bored at home but if i am going to make mistakes harming people's business i'd rather not work. Does anyone feel the same?

Everyone makes mistakes

Even the definition of "mistake" is subjective and vague

Unless you get fired, please do not worry about it

Thanks for the encouragement but i'm making too many mistakes. I think my employer doesn't want to fire me since he specializes in labor law. I'm feeling guilty since it feels like im deceving him by not disclosing my disability.

Some managers are overly critical of mistakes. They do this to get their employees to work harder.

No one learns to do any job without practice or experience...so I don't see how quitting would improve that. If your employer doesn't want to fire you, perhaps your mistakes aren't a bad as you think?

But he literally only complains to me and it's not the same with the other intern. And i really do make a lot of mistakes. And i don't even know how to write legal drafts i"m not good at writing. I'm not even allowed to answer the Phone because i got somebody's number wrong before and he doesn't trust me with it.
I appreciate you trying to encourage me but i feel like i don't belong in any workplace period. I'm just not smart enough for it. Don't you think it's better to not burden others if you're incompetent?

Some people are much better at working than others. My employer has not found someone as talented as me in the decades I've been working. Hard to beat an Aspie who is lucky enough to work in their special interest.

Just do the best you can and let your boss decide whether your work is good enough.

Hello, I signed up after reading this,

I've struggled in the workplace a bit and I do wonder if talking with your boss about the condition would be a good idea, it might help with the feelings of guilt if nothing else.

If he has to fire you 'by the book' for this type of thing he'll probably put you under a 'performance review' or something first, and offer you a chance to improve and explain the consequences if you don't. That's what seems to happen to me.

The first thing I would do is stop comparing yourself to others. If you are on the spectrum, you probably don't see and do things the same way others do. Secondly, you are an intern. That means you are there to learn. It might take you longer, but you'll probably get there.

And no, being new at something doesn't make anyone a burden.

Thank you for your reply, the thing is aspergers isn't well known here and i didn't even tell my parents since my dad has it too and i don't want him to learn at this age.
If i tell my employer he probably won't understand what it means and what help i need even. And i don't want to put him on a though spot.

@daniel: thank you for your reply. I try not to compare myself i just said this to mean that he isn't like this with everyone. I think it's less that im New and more that i'm incompetent. Thanks for the encouragement still.

It may be that you are overthinking things. I do better if I just concentrate on the task at hand, and don't worry about what other people think.

Everyone is incompetent as an intern. I know because I've been one, and I've hired them. Your boss may be frustrated that you aren't progressing as quickly as others, but its his job to teach you. If he can't, that's more his fault than yours (which is probably also frustrating for him). All you can do is your best, and everyone's best is different everyday.

I guess everyone thinks i shouldn't quit, but i thought i made the right decision I don't think my problems are something that can improve with time. Still thank you for your belief in me. I'll decide what to do after i talk it over with my psychologist and maybe confess to my employer that i may have a learning disability or something.

The first thing is not to worry. If you were really bad you would have been fired a long time ago.

A few words of encouragement about mistakes. We all have to make mistakes to learn properly. If we don't make mistakes then we can have a rather shallow understanding about why we do things certain ways. Now there are some jobs where certain mistakes must not be made as it is a life or death situation and I worked for a job where we were paid well because of this. I won't go into details here, but as long as our mistakes were relitively minor and not life threatening all was ok. I wouldn't be here today if I made a major mistake in that way as I worked in a position where we had one of the top ten most dangerous jobs statistically in the country by the death rates even though one may not think so. Fear and respect for the dangerous enviroment kept one safe. Most of the deaths that occurred were due to those who lost their fear of the job. In orher words, they had done it for years and became almost immune to the dangers. But your job isn't quite like that so you can take a sigh of relief. What's the worst that could happen?

Mistakes will happen. I find mistakes happen more in the first year then ones entire time in the job if one is in the job for a few years. It is natural. You are feeling your way around.
Something I have personally found is that I often make mistakes when I am being watched by someone in athority above me, but not (Or rarely) when I work alone. I remember my first boss watching me repair a bicycle. He was a recently retired deputy headmaster and I was arohnd 19 to 21 years old or thereabouts and he was genuinely interested in how I was repairing the bicycle as his skills were with selling bicycles, parts and accessories to customers. I was soo nurvous! I kept making silly mistakes. But when I was working alone I was fine.
I put this as I was thinking. If you have a type of boss who is always watching over you then maybe this makes it difficult. It is no ones fault. We are all different.