How to set boundaries at work
Hi:
Where I currently work, I feel like my colleagues seem to
1. Right through me like I am not there
2. Several don't take me seriously and talk to me as if I am 4 years old
3. They seem to dismiss me in a very polite manner and "That's awesome" seems to be their response a lot
4. There have been several times where they seem to take me low dosages
How do let I let them know that I don't think they respect me as a person without being accused of being disrespectful.
Where I currently work, I feel like my colleagues seem to
1. Right through me like I am not there
2. Several don't take me seriously and talk to me as if I am 4 years old
3. They seem to dismiss me in a very polite manner and "That's awesome" seems to be their response a lot
4. There have been several times where they seem to take me low dosages
How do let I let them know that I don't think they respect me as a person without being accused of being disrespectful.
1. Do you mean "Look right through me like I am not there"?
2. Are they of the same "rank" as you, are they supervisors, or are they subordinates?
3. (Same as #2.)
4. Are you saying that they seem to be in a rush to get away from you?
1. There is a clique at work while I am an outsider as this group tends to push me away when they want to be with other members.
2. Rank, most of them have master's degrees and I still have my associate's, and about to get my bachelor's and they are all NTs pretty much. My supervisor, who has a Ph.D. tends to talk to me like I am 4 by saying things like "You did a good job," and if I say anything it's, "That's right." When I talk about my classes, "Oh that will be fun."
3. They are dismissive of anything I accomplish pretty much with "That's awesome," or "That's cool."
4. Other times, people seem to hang out with me for 30 minutes and then just take off.
You can't measure respect
Anyone can correctly claim that anything is "disrespectful"
Sometimes they use "disrespectful" and "rude" to indicate that they don't like it
Trump card
trump card
Slippery slope
As though, they have (or should have) a moral right
to veto anything just because they don't
like
it.
The panhandler was yelling at driver's that didn't give him $$. He could correctly claim that it is disrespectful
not to give him $$$. A panhandler asked me for cash. I gave him an insufficient amount. He had the nerve to give it back to me. he could say that I insulted and disrespected him.
Correct
Even if someone gave him all their $$, he could still say it is disrespectful.
But anyone can say anything
______________
However, I am do not have authority in your situation. Likewise nobody on Wrong Planet was there at the scene
Having said that, if you still feel the way you did when you wrote the post, you should go to human resources
2. Rank, most of them have master's degrees and I still have my associate's, and about to get my bachelor's and they are all NTs pretty much. My supervisor, who has a Ph.D. tends to talk to me like I am 4 by saying things like "You did a good job," and if I say anything it's, "That's right." When I talk about my classes, "Oh that will be fun."
3. They are dismissive of anything I accomplish pretty much with "That's awesome," or "That's cool."
4. Other times, people seem to hang out with me for 30 minutes and then just take off.
Unfortunately, once they have formed their opinions about you, there is little that you can do to change their minds. As others have said, respect is earned. If you want their respect, then you have to become the kind of person that they would respect. This likely means earning a 4-year degree and behaving less 'autistic' (whatever that means).
Sorry I can't be of any help. If you want to see changes in others, then you must first show them the changes in yourself. Good luck.
I understand that the whole thing with earning respect, however, I have a real problem with their attitudes. Why? For one thing, I work for an organization that is related to people with disabilities. One of the things they often talk about is pushing for acceptance and inclusion and recognizing that no everyone is going to fit the mold.
Not everyone acts like this, there are people there who really are passionate about what they do and they accept me regardless. There is a group there right now who don't practice what they preach.
1. Some of them talk down to me like I am a little kid - my former supervisor doesn't take me seriously. If I even talk about anything school-related, his responses are, "Yep, that's right" "You did a good job." He's an associate professor but I am sure he is on the spectrum himself.
2. Others are nice to me when it's just a one-on-one basis, but when they are with their cliques, I get shut out.
3. They leave if I start talking about animated things but I have learned what they stick around for
1. They love to talk about crafted beer and I love crafted beer or anything related to mixed drinks
2. They will talk about topics related to inclusion and acceptance
I know all about this. I had it mostly in school as when I left school, the types of jobs I ended up in, I was respected through my skills and it was the type of work that only has a few employees (Various positions in the bicycle trade), or, the one with many employees was very staggered where I would work with only one person at a time. (When I was working trains).
But yes. I do know what you mean and had experienced it daily in school, and also on occasions elsewhere. I find that in order to have a control over the situation is to react to them like they react to you. For an example, if I am in a group and I am treated like this and I have made attempts to join in and it hasn't worked, I tend to just walk off and do my own thing, because otherwize I am wasting my time. (I do tend to not go in crowded places so I don't get into groups so often these days). If someone notices I am getting on with doing my own thing, I then have an opportunity to explain why. (Though I rarely do as I usually just stay there and occupy my thoughts in other ways like look at any paintings on the walls or go into a daydream like trance so I can work on model railway designs in my mind etc. Normally doing that if bored of the conversation when others talk over me or don't want to hear my oppinions etc... I maybe there in bodily form but you are not having my mind! La,la,la,la,laa! Haha!).
When they do respond to me, they aren't really interested, rather they give me comments like, "That's awesome," which I am getting tired of people saying period.
What about me giving them the "That's awesome!" or "That's good," "That's cool," "That's nice remark?"
What about with my former supervisor who often talks to me like I am a kid. With his "Ye...ah," "You did such a good job?"
My current one talks to me like I am stupid and says things like "Do you know why they did that?" "Do you understand this?" How do I respond without getting into trouble for being accused of "Mouthing off?"
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