Disability?

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Firstly, Hi, I'm new to this site.

So I'm 30 years old, and I'm currently living with my mom, despite wishing like hell every single day, that there was something I could do about it.

I've worked countless jobs since I was about 18, one of them being an Air Force career. I couldn't do a single one of them. I wish I could just explain to someone why, specifically. But the best reasons I can honestly give are because in professional environments, I just get too overwhelmed to be able to focus on whatever the task is I'm supposed to be doing. ESPECIALLY if it's in a team-environment.

So after years and years of wondering what the hell was wrong with me, and enduring a lot of personal humiliation for not feeling like I earned any of my paychecks, I finally discovered that it's actually common for people with Asperger's to experience great difficulties in the workplace, sometimes completely debilitating them, like in my case, and that it's so well-known, in fact, that Asperger's apparently qualifies me for disability-income.

Now I'm in the process of trying to apply for it. I know I wouldn't make a whole lot of money that way, but I can honestly say the money I'd get would be more worth it than having to torment myself for a more normal-sized paycheck.

My concern though, is the possibility of a negative stigma arising from this.
When people talk to me, face-to-face, they don't immediately see that I'm autistic. In fact, they often judge (incorrectly) that I'm really smart, because I've got a slightly unusual vocabulary. So at a first-glance, I appear to be a normal, high-functioning person who's perfectly capable of mundane tasks in a workplace. When I try to explain that I'm not mentally capable of working at any job I qualify for, you can imagine the scoffs I get, and how it's really easy to dismiss me as lazy.

My question is, has anyone else gone through something similar, have you successfully applied for disability, and most importantly, how do you respond to people who think you just don't want to work?

The testing process with a neuropsychologist will determine if you are, in fact, on the spectrum.

I can't imagine that anyone could get an autism identification if they weren't autistic. If anything, people who are truly autistic are denied the label.

The testing is very thorough and it's not just based on anecdotal self-assessment that you would share in an interview. It's several hours long and based on a lot of objective measures including problem solving, etc.

Good luck and welcome.

Edit: My apologies. I think I read your post too quickly. Are you already identified on the spectrum?

Yes, I am. I was formally diagnosed as a kid.

Sorry that I misread at first.

I applied for Disability before I knew I was autistic. I had severe PTSD and suffered a stroke, so my claim was approved.

Don't worry about the stigma. If you can't work, you can't work. It's no one's business why (apart from the people who pay your Disability supplement). I've learned not to worry about anyone's impression of autism because chances are, they have false impressions of what it entails. I believe it's worth applying for Disability rather than burning out if you find work is truly overtaxing. I've had burnouts and nervous breakdowns and even my stroke because of exhaustion. I wish I had known back then that I was autistic. You have this advantage of knowing now, so I would apply. Just my opinion!

Good luck!

Thank you. I think really needed to hear that.

Maybe you could look for a job that requires less social interaction. Guess it's better than a payment that is to high to die and to low to live from it.

Gather all the information about all the jobs you quit/were fired/burned out from, especially stuff that your supervisors wrote about what happened. That will help you get disability.

If you can afford it, get a private disability evaluation and submit that will your application. Also get statements from friends/family/teachers/etc. who know about your struggles.

You can try working from home if you have skills for those types of jobs (writing, editing, graphic design, programming, website design, Internet marketing, social media management, phone-based customer service, etc.)

Aspergers can qualify someone for disability but it is NOT an automatic/guaranteed disability. Aspergers affects different people differently. A lot of people with Aspergers have comorbids with it. It's important to list comorbids & any mental or physical issues/disabilities/problems unrelated to Aspergers as well.

I have a lot of various mental & physical disabilities besides Aspergers(some are comorbids & others are unrelated to Aspergers). I got on SSI before I started working & was on it while I was working & it got switched to Social Security Disability after I quit working.

I've faced a bit of stigma for being on benefits & not working. My mom griped a lot about me not working when I wasn't even thou I was putting in apps for most any job I knew about, thought I could do, & my parents might of been able to bring me to(I cant drive). My mom did not resent me for being on benefits. I think some of my mom's problem was that she felt I could do better than just being on benefits. She felt I was too dependent & that I wouldn't be able to take care of myself after her & my dad would die. She was also upset about me not contributing financially to the household when I wasn't working. My medical care costs a lot(private insurance with deductibles & copays & didn't cover mental so I had to pay the whole cost to see my psychiatrist) & I paid for the cable & net bill for the household, my cellphone bill, & my personal stuff. My mom was working in a job she used to love but had gone downhill a lot & she gradually started hating lots of things about it. She's retired now thou. She felt like part of the reason she had to work was to pay for some my expenses. Mom & my dad had worked hard since they became adults & my mom couldn't relate to having disabilities so her coming home after a hard day at work to an adult kid who she felt wasn't trying hard enough to find work & be independent was like a slap in the face to her.

Another problem I had related to the stigma of being disabled is that I really HATED being single but I couldn't get any women to give me half a chance partly due to me not having my sh!t together with life. They either wanted to be with a guy who could take better care of them &/or they felt I was lazy. I'm from the deep south which is hardcore conservative & deems anyone on benefits as being a lazy leech sucking on the teats of the hard-working American taxpayer. When I was working the kinds of jobs I had were minimum wage stuff like dishwashing & custodial. It would of been OK for me to be working those jobs in my teens but not when I was old enough to have completed 4 years of college. It didn't matter to women or society that I was working a lot of overtime when I was allowed to. I was single & looking for 8 years straight. I have a girlfriend now that I met on this forum & she's also disabled & on various benefits & I moved to be with her.

I wish I could tell you how to respond to people who think your lazy but in my experience people believe what they want. The trick is finding others who are less judgemental about it.