I’m not diagnosed with anything and honestly I don’t know what’s wrong with me but clearly something. Maybe Autism. Definitely social anxiety. I’m so depressed and overwhelmed by what I’m going to do for a living because I don’t have the social skills to do anything. I’m 22 so it’s really crunch time now.
I want to be a researcher in academia but I’m not really smart enough for that. I got rejected from grad school last year. I applied to grad school again this year so it could happen ... but probably not. I will have a BSc in psychology in May (I could’ve graduated last year but I chose not to because I didn’t get into grad school).
If not then what? I’m not smart or good with math or computers.
I can handle formulaic social interactions. I work in retail right now and I’m good at it. I can handle being a cashier because you know exactly how the interaction goes. “Hi how are you would you like a bag that comes to $5 have a great day bye” easy. I need a job that has similarly formulaic interactions I guess.
I was originally hired to be a key-holder / on-duty manager but my manager changed her mind when I started working, I assume because of how shy and lacking in social skills I am. That’s ok because I am good at being a normal cashier but this shows how bad it is.
I like the idea of being a teacher (maybe special ed) because I’m good with some kids and I like thinking of activities for kids to do. I used to babysit and volunteer with kids a lot. I’m good with autistic kids. But I’m really only good with some kinds of kids one-on-one. I’m volunteering in a grade 1 classroom this term and I like it but I can’t see myself being in charge of a class. It requires good social skills.
I have thought about doing the ABA program and being a therapist because I’m good with autistic kids. But I don’t like ABA and the main thing that appeals to me about teaching is the creative part - thinking of activities and tailoring them to the individual kids. ABA has no individuality or creativity at all so I don’t think I’d like that job. Plus social skills.
I’m not handy or good with tools, plus I hate loud noises so I don’t think the trades are for me at all.
Maybe I’ll end up in retail for the rest of my life since that’s something I can do. I have a deep desire to be financially stable though (lol who doesn’t).
I was wondering if you have any thoughts about what I should do for a living.