Has anyone else gotten "if x can do it then why aren't you"

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In the past I've been compared in not a good way with Temple Grandin. Where the person says if they can make it, then why am I still out of a job or living with my parents.

I looked it up a while back because it bugged me, and I found out she never held a "real" job. Like her biggest money maker and what got her a spot light is her invention. Her invention she was able to do ONLY because she luckily had a family farm she went to, she watched, she used her own experience, and luckily the family worked with her, and luckily the invention took off. As far as I can tell, she never worked a retail job or any actual job before her image took off. And she was only able to do what she is able to do now from her image.

I'm not saying she is a bad person, but I'm saying I am kind of sick how people ignore how the bulk of us have a hard time in the work environment. And idiots use things like this as an excuse for not even putting an ounce of effort into trying.

Has anyone else dealt with anything like this?

Work Can Be Choring For All Types ..

i Think People with ASD Traits are Generally More Sensitive To Environment So It Feels Amplified .

Forget About Bench Marks and Levels of Achievement . Everybody Has Their Own Life . Maximise The Enjoyment in Yours . Most Outside Commentators Only See From Their Perspective and Really interject More Issue Than Necessary

"Why can't you be more like ________?" was something of a mantra in my father's house.

He compared me to my smarter sister, my more athletic brother, my more sociable cousins, the jocks at school, his boss's kids, and someone out west who started medical school at age 12.

Whatever I accomplished, he knew someone my age who had done it first, done it quicker, and done it better; and then he would make sure I knew all about how all-around great that other person was.

He was a very toxic man.

That,

"If X Can Do It Then Why Aren't You"

can sometimes be interesting to answer with,

"Could be for the same reason you aren't."

Sometimes the line between toxic and outright destructive is very thin,
and not much more than an airbrushed haze at that.

While his toxicity was directed outward, his destructiveness was directed inward.  He died of COPD at age 70.

"your sister is so smart. Why are you not like that?", Rosencrantz and guildenstern had the nerve to correctly told me numerous times

No matter how much (effort )wasted, when ,( efficiency) low, outcome ( insufficient)

"You can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear"

Not everyone has to the same academic potential

I've been told this my entire life, especially by teachers. It sucks because I genuinely try my best, and being compared to other people and having others act like my effort isn't enough doesn't encourage me at all. I'm honestly more likely to just give up at something than keep doing it to "show them" I can do it.

Ya I get where ur coming from.People have compared me to her and Bill Gates and I just think they are the exception to the rule.I feel like nobody in my life understands that its hard for me to get a good job except Wrong Planet.

..Try comparing them to the most famous and successful neurotypical people in the world? Like this: "So, why aren't you an A-list Hollywood actor / billionaire CEO / Secretary General of the UN? Are you just not trying hard enough, or what?"

TBH, these days it's mostly me doing the "why can't you"s to myself.

Not about being autistic but being dyspraxic.

I can't drive. Partly due to autism (sensory overload), partly due to dyspraxia.

Woman I used to work with said 'even my one armed niece can drive, why can't you?'

I just can't.

And I have no desire to.

I've since moved to a city which is pedestrianised for the most part and use the bus when I need to.

I understand the need for independent travel but you don't actually need to be able to drive.

What is an "x"?

What is a Temple Grandin?

It depends where you live. Here we only have a two mile walk (A 1 in 4 hill to get back home but on the walk out it is downhill nearly all the way) to get to the bus stop, but in some places in Wales one has to walk up to 15 to 20 miles to get to a bus stop or further to reach a shop, so it depends where one lives. Many areas do not have the internet or mobile phone coverage yet, but they are still working on that.

If one thinks that to order a taxi to such places costs £50 or more each way (So it is £100 or more for some... We pay around £32 each way if we have to go by taxi to get to the nearest town and back), going shopping if one does not have a neighbour who drives, can be a bit costly. Here in rural parts we rely on each other at times. We try to be independent.


I think I live in the best place because it is rural but not too far out. The best of both worlds.

We do rely on having a car in these parts as though it is not cheap, it is far more costly not to have a car. (My Mum does not drive).

Temple Grandin was one of the first autistic people to talk publicly about being autistic.

Where did you get this info?

She's a professor at Colorado State University -- that's a "real" job, and not an easy job to get.

It's true that she came from a privileged background that gave her various opportunities most people don't have.

Ah. Ok. Thanks.