I'm looking for some positive words...

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Even if you lie through your teeth I need to hear the good news!!
Mid forties, newly diagnosed aspergers (ASD1), female.
I can see how the naivety and honesty and poor physical health from burnout, have all led to periods of unemployment (too burnt out/sick), frequent job turnover (bullies, burnout, low fulfillment, difficult relationships with co workers on one occassion that was more misunderstanding than bullying ), wrecked businesses (burnout and no support), loss of finances (due to failed jobs, businesses, being duped by people selling stuff, and manipulative partners who took advantage).
At this point I am one of those who has high book smart intelligence, plenty of potential and qualifications, but struggles to maintain full time work, struggle to sucees in business,
housing insecurity, have to keep moving, tight finances, and currently low enjoyment of life (I used to really enjoy life but it's harder when you are low on cash and can't access your fave things to do like walking in the mountains or visiting beaches, participating in hobby groups). I am okay at social skills in a professional environment.
I know a lot of people struggle with this stuff. But please, someone tell me I can turn this around ! Someone tell me that now I know, I can find a perfect job/business, a stable place to live in a town near the sea, a life partner, recover my finances, be a part of fun groups again, and enjoy life to the max again .

Welcome!


I'm still trying to find the balance between life and the stress.

You might be a classic case of somebody who would have thrived in a civil service job, and stayed long enough to get a pension.

I'm sorry you're going through this stuff.

I wish I could live near the sea, too.

I used to live about two blocks from the sea----in the mid to late 80s.

Why I gave up that apartment----I will never know!

One attraction to the sea----is the nature of the sea itself. Just watching the waves is hypnotic. Even better when you watch water flow over rocks. It's fascinating to just look

Another is the sea breeze which mitigates the heat on hot days.

welcome! I retired before I ever learned about my autism diagnosis. It would have helped me with finding a better job and living a better life. Diagnosis helps us find out our strengths and weaknesses. I used a self inventory test at the front half of a book called "what color is your parachute" before I knew I was autistic, and it helped me define my best skills and aptitudes. I think the book is out of print now, but you can pick up a used copy almost anywhere. Do all the homework, you might be surprised what you learn about yourself and your skills, aptitudes, etc. It is a sort of history/skills inventory such as employment agencies give one, but in more depth. I am going to guess that it will give you insights into yourself that you never suspected. Knowing I have been autistic all my life, I can see how I needed something like that test to help me see what jobs were best for me. It worked and although I changed jobs several times after those insights, they were jobs that I could do my best at without forcing myself to work under the conditions that caused me to be most miserable. Be kind to yourself, sending best wishes for a better future. You are definitely not alone!

You have to find a way to look at the work you've done, in an objective/un-biased way, and ask yourself "Did I mess up here?", "Would a non-ASD person have done things differently?"

Many people in many industries now especially since Covid, are in burnout, too. You have to self-evaluate in a fair way. Book-smart doesn't help much, sadly in the business world.

It may be time to move on, but you could always subltely make it known that you are looking elsewhere. Your burnout would just make your management's burnout twice as bad.

In the meantime, find ways to de-stress. I sometimes take a lunch hour to sleep and return somewhat re-energized. Or if that's not an option - get out and talk a walk, if you can. Get a good night's sleep! Make it known that you need "me time".

Above all, you are more important than your job. Take your free time to get back into hobbies to get back to your baseline, and don't let any manipulative low-lifes define who you are.

I know exactly what you mean, OP. Try to be gentle on yourself. You aren’t to blame. You are a good person, and deserve the best.

When you are feeling better you can apply your problem solving skills to come up with solutions.

Not that I've been able to make it work, but the advice I got when first diagnosed in my 40s seems sound. Seeking 'jobs' isn't a great idea. A person could end up with anything, and a lot of jobs really don't suit us. Thus a bad situation keeps happening, time and again.

Take a break (even a year if necessary), to study yourself. Do the aptitude tests offered at a job club. Whatever you can do to narrow down the field. This will increase your long-term chance of success. Consider those options. Make a list of which ones interest you. Look again, which ones can you train for? University, TAFE, online, on the job, etc. Look again, which ones operate near the beach.

Human beings out there doing what you want to do all the time. You're a human being. You can get yourself there too.

As for age, I like to remember an episode of the Golden Girls. One of the Girls was in a bad way in hospital. The other two girls and the mother were by the bed side comforting each other. The mother announces she's going to study for her law degree. One of the girls points out that she'll be 93 by the time she gets it. The mother responds that she's going to be 93 any way, with or without the law degree, so it might as well be with the law degree.

You've got to do the time anyway, and you'll be less miserable if you take control and do something. Seek a career instead of a job. Have fun and good luck.