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fluter
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

Joined: 19 Apr 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 191
Location: NYC

23 Jun 2022, 5:07 am

Hi. It's been a while since I posted, I had cancer. I'm better now, for now. Hopefully I am ok. But am feeling overwhelmed by things today, extra concerts I've been asked to play, which change my schedule around and cause me to be absent from my regular jobs. I worry too much about this, as my regular jobs are also music, so I think they wouldn't mind if I did make up days in exchange for taking off to play concerts. Yet, I get so stressed out about it, and then the people who ask me to play the concerts get annoyed. I feel I'm a let down to everyone.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

23 Jun 2022, 6:08 am

Congratulations on you conquering cancer.

I had successful prostate cancer surgery last year. I’m cancer-free now.

You can certainly “make up for it” by playing excellent concerts.



fluter
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

Joined: 19 Apr 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 191
Location: NYC

23 Jun 2022, 7:36 am

Wow, I'm glad you are cancer free.

I just wish I could "go with the flow" like other musicians, take jobs that conflict with other jobs without worrying that the world is going to fall apart, and meanwhile killing everyone's enthusiasm in the process of working it out.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

23 Jun 2022, 7:49 am

It's hard not because you are "weak"-----but perhaps because you HAVE to be something of a perfectionist in your field, where there is a very discerning audience that hones in on every little detail.

I appreciate music----but I'm not very knowledgeable about its technical aspects. I believe having this technical knowledge is sort of a paradox. I believe "toeing the line" as far as technical perfection is concerned takes away the enjoyment, perhaps even the aesthetic, sometimes. Twelve-Tone music is really "advanced" in many ways----but, aesthetically, it tends not to be pleasing.

Sure, there are people who can do both----have outside jobs, and be a successful musician in something like a chamber quartet. But it's really difficult for many people. There's just so much pressure.

Think of it this way: at least you don't have to carry a cello while riding the subways!