I have a hard time at our all staff related events

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Hi:
I have worked at the same place for 8 years and while I do find otherwise, I have the hardest time at our all team meetings for two reasons.

1. I just graduated with my bachelor's degree a few years ago and I want to be on a research team as I love math and I have an interest in research. However, a majority of my colleagues have Master's, or Ph.D., or they are in grad schools and are in positions that I would love to be a part of. Whenever we have a meeting, I feel so left out, but I am getting ready to go back to school and earn a Master's so.

2. We often have lunch and I feel like I am often left out of their conversations, I feel like things are awkward. I can't connect with my colleagues and then they don't know how to connect with me back. The sad thing is, they work with autism-related populations as well as study them.

3. I feel like some of them think they are better and superior to me because I am at the admin level right now and because I have a disability. Whenever we cross paths, they seem to talk down to me and act like I am some sort of pest. When in reality, I want to connect because I am looking to build some experience for my career.

So I often end up breaking down crying at those meetings, which to me is equivalent to peeing myself.

Its a shame that they treat you this way.
First step is to prepare for the inevitable and find a way to deal with the situation in a new way. Crying is seen as immature. It doesnt mean that you've done anything wrong but its seems to be the way people judge. Most people have no idea how to handle someone who is crying at work.
Maybe a therapist can help figure out a way to help?

I know we don't see eye to eye on many issues but I'm also working in university environments where me (with a bachelors degree) has to deal with similarly pompous academic types (with PhDs) who regularly sideline my contributions.

You need to understand that academic tenure relying on competitive grants tends to be selective towards self-centred, narcissistic types who are wholly focussed on themselves, their research and their own careers

Relationships with such colleagues are transactional for the most part and you need to have skills that are useful to their own careers before they take notice of you.

In meeting I attend where I know I'm going to be ignored I simply bring a laptop and do my own work, chiming in when I am required. I effectively mirror their behaviour and focus on myself.

As already mentioned its probably not going to help you if you can't regulate your emotions in front of these academics. You need to be more strategic in your interactions and not get caught up with trying to hard to be noticed. Wait for your opportunity and if you want to pursue further study and tutor students you have an avenue to contribute to discussions.

OK now I'm crying.

Thanks Cyberdad,

It helps to talk to someone else who knows what it’s like to work at a university.

I also work in an environment where my colleagues know I am on the spectrum. So they do try to provide accommodations.

I was also able to talk to my supervisor about how I felt last week. He said that all those people are in those roles because they have masters and PHDs.

He and I also discussed that I have been wanting to going into grad level studies. So I did two things.

1. I contacted my counselor
2. I started looking at schools that offer master’s level courses with my area of interest. So far I found a few that feel right.

As for crying, I am learning to get up and find a quiet spot to cry and go for a walk.

Not everyone there is stuck up. There are some really nice people who are very supportive.

I'm glad to hear that. I work in a education rather than research environment so I guess that counts (research focused staff tend to be less obnoxious).

I forgot to mention that academics don't start of like this. The competitive nature to get tenure/grants is selective so promotes people who are self-focused (they come across as self-absorbed but may not be that way in private life).
One of the skills you need is to network with people who are supportive. So it looks like you are on the right pathway.