In the wrong job - how can I get out?

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As I have posted on another thread, I have known for a long time that I am in completely the wrong career.

In fact I did quit once but had to go back to it because I needed the money. I am no good at it, not particularly interested in it and actually am so afraid of screwing up that I am starting to avoid doing anything much at all.

I have now (almost) qualified in another field while carrying on working there, but seem to be unable to get a job in it because (a) I have no practical experience (b) I am on 3 months notice and the job I am interested in likes you to be able to start right away and (c) the money is less, at least at first, and I can't afford to take a pay cut as my finances are already out of control (the clue is in my username!).

I don't declare I have AS when I apply for jobs, mainly because I am not officially diagnosed and I'm not quite sure where on the spectrum I am, although I have a doctor's letter saying that I "probably have a developmental disorder of the frontal lobes" whatever that means.

I am also useless in interviews (I'm just not into the whole "selling yourself to them" thing - they should be able to take my word for what I'm good at!) and I'm sure my body language is off because I don't know what they are expecting it to be.

Plus I don't know when to speak and when not to, especially if it is a panel interview when I'm not sure who to focus on.

Any ideas?

Okay, I can relate. I hate my job, too, and need to make some important decisions about that.

So, You need to answer a few questions for yourself. Financially, can you cut out any expenses that would allow you to take a lower paying job? Do you want the job badly enough to do without some things?

What skills/knowldge/experience specifically do you still need to qualify for the job? How can you get them? Are there other things you can do at your current job that will help?

Any way out of the 3 month notice? What are the consequences of not giving 3 months notice? Are they worth it?

The interview thing is inevitable. Maybe you can practice answering some questions about yourself in front of a mirror or something. Place 3 or 4 dolls or stuffed animals or some kind of objects in front of you and practice looking at each as you answer.

I usually go on automatic pilot in panel interviews, moving my head from side to side to look at everyone's eyes. My own eyes become unfocused, but I don't worry about that!

Are you willing to give up the security of the familiar, however boring it may be, for the sacrifices you might have to make for a better fitting job?

Good luck to you! You can do it if you want to!

What job to you have? I only know of one career with a 3 month notice period and that's the one I used to do. Is yours transport related in any way?

As Eating Poetry has said, debt management and cutting back on your ongoing expenditure will balance the financial scales somewhat. If you REALLY want this career move then you'll cut down on the shopping! I know it's really hard to balance short term and long term happiness in this way, but it really does sound worth the hassle.

Is there any way you could gain some experience by working at weekends or in the evenings as a trainee in the new job? The pay might be rubbish (in fact, you might even have to volunteer) but it would open the door in terms of your experience and also knowing names within the industry. Another way of doing the same thing might be to take some paid leave from your current job and go temping - that way you're getting experience AND being paid twice.

As for interviews, I tend to treat them as a game nowadays. Bosses, like dogs, can smell fear. If you go in viewing the whole thing as an intellectual challenge and a chance to show off, and project a matching level of confidence, you'll be amazed. It's worked for me several times now, and I'm not great with people generally. One good thing with interviews is that they're strangers, which means you don't know them in advance and you won't necessarily speak to them ever again, so why not take a few risks? Interviews can be fun.

I work in Local Government.

As for cutting down on the spending, it is a bit late for that - even if I don't buy a single thing apart from the essentials like food, my outgoings (loan payments, mortgage, council tax, season ticket, credit cards) take up most of my current pay, so if I took a cut I wouldn't be able to cover them.

Actually I have an interview this week (for the same job unfortunately, but more local to me and only 2 months notice) so wish me luck!

How did your interview go?

Also, were any of the other suggestions any use, e.g. weekend work to get experience, or by 'moonlighting' using some annual leave?

Good luck!

Season ticket for what? Can it be sold to someone else or scalped? If you can scalp it (I know it's usually illegal), that could actually get you more cash for other things.

If you have more than one loan payment, you might look into a debt-consolidation loan. They purchase the balance from the other creditors and give you a single payment and a single interest rate to deal with. I believe many of them will also buy off credit card debt and I think some will also include mortgages. It works because (in theory, I've never had one) the interest rate for the consolidation loan is usually lower than the combined interest of the other creditors. So you'd be required to pay back less on a monthly basis once you had the consolidation - and cut up the credit cards if you're concerned about running them up again.

Hmm, so shopaholic, do you have a degree? I ask because with almost any of that, especially with experience, there's almost always a way you could pivot off what you have and strike out in a new direction.

Yeah, I know, its scary trying to get a new job especially when you know debt would swallow you whole if it didn't work out - definitely a valid concern. Replacing the shopping with a hobby that doesn't involve so much purchasing might be a good start, just because you need to have something. I'd say do your best to save yourself a buffer fund, at least enough to get by for a few months if the next job doesn't work (whether culture, crap training, etc.), and start talking around. Really watch your interviewers as well, if they kinda give you the chills your probably best off not calling them back even if they want a second interview - just remember that while they're gaging you your supposed to be gaging them, they're usually supposed to be the best foot that the company has to put forward.

Another thing I see a lot in people that do well with this sort of thing, which I admire a lot, is the ability to warmly laugh off a lot of the small stuff (at least when its not a sign of a bigger issue). Whether its a traffic jam, canceled flights at the airport, they may say make a few subtle sarcastic comments but they keep their wit about things and don't get let themselves get crabby, either with the people around them and especially with each other. Its a sign of that internal steadiness and discipline that it takes to really endure things and grow - together and as individuals.

Okay, so that's what I'm doing wrong then - I usually get really mad about all that kind of stuff and take it out on everyone around me!

The season ticket is for my train to work - I commute! So I need it unless I can get a more local job. And I've already done the consolidation thing. But I'll definitely look into the other suggestions if I don't get this job (the interview is tomorrow so I haven't had it yet. Biggest hurdle - getting there on time since I have always been "chronologically challenged", i.e. get there at least 5 minutes late for everything.

Yeah, that's something all-together different. I'm used to hearing people using the term "season ticket" in reference to spectator sports most of the time (my dad used to have season tickets to the Mavericks basketball games here in Dallas). I think this is the first time I've heard it used in reference to transportation.

....?

[quote="ike] I'm used to hearing people using the term "season ticket" in reference to spectator sports most of the time ....I think this is the first time I've heard it used in reference to transportation.[/quote]

I suppose it must be a British thing - in the UK it is a common use of the term (though we would use it for the spectator sports as well).

What would you call a monthly/annual train ticket in the US then? Just out of interest.

By the way, the interview didn't go too bad (I think) - I will know the outcome by this time next week....

Yeah, it must be a regional thing. Around here monthly bus tickets are generally referred to as a "bus pass" (I've never seen an annual)... I'm not sure about train since I've not lived in an area where there's a train or light-rail that isn't part of the local bus system. For that matter the only commuter train I've lived near is in Dallas and that's only been built in recent years and I never lived or worked near enough to use it. Actually I take that back -- there's another one in Ft Lauderdale, but same story. And I believe both of them are part of the local bus system, so I think they're both covered by the local bus passes in some way.



Good to hear. Hope you get it.

Where I live, a "bus pass" is what old age pensioners get and entitles them to free travel. Some school kids who live more than 3 miles from their school get them as well.

In other words you have to pay for a "season ticket" but a "bus pass" is free.

As they say, we are "two nations divided by a common language"!

Apparently so.

Oh well, didn't get the job - what a surprise!

Should have known as soon as I was asked "Have you ever had a manager you didn't get on with?" - by a guy I used to work with, who knew my history of falling out with one of my managers, so I couldn't just lie.

Talk about "damned if you do & damned if you don't...."

Don't you agree that was a really mean question?

It's unfortunately the sort of question that NTs don't understand is "mean". They expect you (like other NTs) to answer it in a particular way. Given that he knew your history he may have been looking for a reason not to hire you... or he may have simply wanted to know how you would answer the question. If he just wanted to know how you would answer the question, the reason for that is so that he can judge what you might say to someone else about him after you'd been hired... Usually it's not about what you might say to other employees, usually it's about what you might say to people outside the company. They want to know that you'll filter your responses the same way that other NTs do... which from my experience isn't really possible. There's never any alarm in my head to warn me before I shove my foot in my mouth.