:-/ how to improve myself in that matter?

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I talked with my GM today about my raise , I told him that I do want a raise because I think that I deserve better my chief department had told a good word about me so he was convinced and he told me that he's going to raise my wage . However , he told me that despite that I am doing already a good job but he's expecting me to improve myself ...and more particularly to work on my weakness . He told me : " You're only weakness that i noticed in you so far is your awkwardness or shyness when you talk with people...i am not saying that you don't have self-confidence but you need to know how show it " and he continued : " I will accept your raise this time but when you demand a raise again in the next time i expect you to be stronger , i want you to decrease your awkwardness, otherwise i won't accept to raise your salary again " ... " i know that no one is perfect , everyone has his weaknesses ...but you have to cope with your weakness and try to cover it as much as possible".

PS : no one in the company knows about my autism .

My chief department had given me some hints , she told me that i need to learn to talk in a hight tone and and to avoid any signs of hesitation and to speak more clearly .

**sigh** this is gonna be so hard .

any hints you can give them to me?

This has worked well for me:

I bought a nice watch. You always see successful and confident people wearing nice watches. It's a bit of a status symbol, or symbol of power, I guess. Anyway, when I wear the watch it's kind of like a costume, and I have become Mr. Confidence. People with nice watches are in command, and don't speak in a meek, unsure voice. I did it for the same reasons you ask about--my perceived lack of self-confidence was holding me back at work.

I don't wear it all the time, as that would diminish its power. My hope is that eventually I will be more confident naturally, as a result of the constant reminder when wearing the watch.

I got the idea from a character on a TV show called "Boston Legal". There's a lawyer with AS, and when he holds a pretend cigarette in his hand (it's a piece of wood) then he is able to communicate effectively and forcefully. It's an established psychological technique, called "procipretive" (there's no way I spelled it correctly...sorry) tool. My therapist suggested it to me.

It doesn't have to be a watch, or pretend cigarette, just something you would associate with a confident person.

Good luck!

^^ thanks sepia for your support .

anyone has more hints?

Yeah. . props can be useful at times.

Are you able to identify how more confident people move, speak, and present themselves? If so, the at hand is far easier. . .

You could force yourself into social interactions or other situations of increasing difficulty. . .

Finding some people who's confident presentation you admire who you might emulate may be of use.

Perhaps it might help to take a class or workshop or read some books on public speaking or acting.

I'm also a big fan of dance for social interaction/conficence/presenting one's self, if you want to go that route.

If you make a serious effort to work on this, perhaps you can show that to your boss come time for the next raise even if you aren't quite all the way.

The only cure for confidence is practice.

kindofbluenote has a point. My job requires me to wear different clothes to work anyway. It's sort of a persona change. I change out of my "work clothes" as soon as I get home. I've even found that I can drudge through paying my bills if I keep the "work clothes" on.

find what works for you, absolutely ask your GM (or immediate supervisor) for suggestions. If in a year he notices progress, but isn't happy with how much; you can debate bringing the AS card out as a mitigaing factor. He could be impressed that you are wresting a bigger alligator than he thinks. (or you can save that card for later)

ps:

If you are harboring any intentions of climbing the ladder, be VERY cautious of disclosing AS. discrimination by your employER can be acted upon. Respect from your subordinates can't be awarded by court.

I won't tell them that i am autistic ...this will only scare them away and won't benefit me .