My AS strikes again?

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Hi,

This happened to me in the office last week:

Because of hot-desking, I was sitting next to the manager of another section, who up until now I had got along with fine.

She was on the phone to IT, getting them to make changes to the database, also used by my section. (They were really simple things that she could have done herself, BTW.)

Anyway, I could not help hearing every word she said, and basically she was changing stuff that my section do not want changed, without asking us or anything.

So I listened for about 15 minutes getting more & more irritated, and finally I couldn't take it any more, so I interrupted & said "Excuse me X, can I have a word?"

She was mad at me for interrupting but I started asking her why she was changing that stuff because we had spent time putting it on & would just end up putting it back.

She said it was nothing to do with me and just carried on. I had to leave in 5 mins to catch my train home, so I quickly emailed my team's Quality Manager & told him what I had overheard.

He has not responded to me at all, & she has not spoken to me since.

I suppose it was my AS that made me act that way - I can't stand it when people meddle with stuff they do not understand; I was irritated that she was going on and on and on when I was trying to work; I genuinely believed that the QM would want to know about it, because he always complains when people do stuff like she was doing.

Yeah, I was rude - I even meant to be rude! But now I have to work with these people.
Why, oh why, do I do it?????

I think you did the right thing - and what's more, exactly what any NT would have done in the same situation. If I were you, I should get back to the Quality Manager and ask him whether he got your email. Remember it's the squeaky wheel that gets the grease. I see this less as an AS/NT issue than a male/female one. Men are never afraid of complaining; women tend instead to blame themselves when things go wrong.

The squeaky wheel,more often gets replaced.

I dont think your reaction was wrong but it does cause us a lot of problems that we cant seem to ignore things that are destructive and illogical.I think many NT's have a filter for this...they may see what is happening but they also know the "politics and relationships" of an organization and when it is OK to "complain".I actually understand some of the hierarchy but my negative response ot illogical/ineffecency is so strong(to the point of OCD),that often I can not,not say something...even if I know they will be angry with me.Often,they do change the problem(as they would get in trouble themselves,if they ignored the problem,once it is in writing),but they "hate the messanger",more then the message.It's very scary to me and I thik a reflection of many of the problems in society today.

These sorts of people i just called fish. Its not to autism, more to do with mingling with the masses of the socio-politic crowds.

I wouldn't have been so brash. I would have been more polite about it. You probably created a bad situation for yourself.

I wish it were. I have years of experience of working with people who drove everybody nuts, including their superiors. They never got replaced because most superiors are actually bad managers and hate confrontations. They'd rather give the complainant everything they want and tell the other employees to deal with it.

Krex, that is it exactly! I just could not stand listening to it any more without doing anything! That is why i blame it on my AS.

Often, even when I know I'm about to do something inappropriate, I still "have" to go ahead & do it. (& I don't even have OCD!)

And that "NT filter" that they seem to have is one of the things that annoys me most about them! The fact that they do not have the compulsion to correct every mistake that they come across, but can let it go.