Ahh, the sweet sounds of phlegm...

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Hello all,

I know I'm not exactly a regular member here, mostly because I haven't had many issues related to my Aspieness for a while, but there's been something going on at work that's really been grating on my nerves, and I figured maybe some of you could relate to this:

For the past 8 months, I've been stuck in a cubicle next to a guy who has some sort of chronic mucus problem. Every day, I have to listen to him unleash the loudest, most violent coughing and hacking I've ever heard in my life. He hacks up a giant phlegm wad an average of approximately once every 90 seconds (yes, I've kept logs to determine the frequency with which he does this). For the first couple of months, I tried to let it go, figuring it was a cold or something. That's a pretty long cold, but hey, stranger things have happened. But no, it just kept on going. Every day. Every 90 seconds. Not only is it very distracting, but at this point, it's starting to trigger an almost violent reaction. This cough makes me want to break things. It's that bad. I swear, it's almost like he's deliberately trying to see how loudly he can do it.

What I'd like to know is if there's anything I can do about this. I've asked if I could move my desk, but since our company is getting a new building in about a year, my superiors told me this would be pointless and can't be done. I've tried asking this guy (with semi-sarcasm) if he was okay, and all he said was, "ohhh... just slowly drowning over here." (Eww!) I thought about leaving cough drops or Mucinex just sort of lying around, but I'm not sure that alone would be enough for him to get the message. The other guy in this building sure didn't get my hint when I put a can of air freshener in the bathroom because he kept dropping his stinky hangover turds in there every morning. Something tells me that perhaps my hints are too subtle. But I digress...

Anyway, it's almost getting to the point where I may have to say something directly to him. I'm not even sure he's aware that he's doing this. I think his hearing may be slightly bad, because he doesn't hear his cell phone with the stupid, annoying ringtone going off either. So, what would be the nicest way of dealing with this? Would it be rude to just say, "Dude... I know you've gotta do what you've gotta do, but is there no way to control the volume??" Or do I have to just sit here and suck it up? I'm actually wearing earplugs right now, and they're not doing any good. This sucks. I would love my job if it weren't for this guy.

Well, sorry for the rant. Thanks to anyone who actually read all this. If anyone has some advice, that'd be much appreciated too.

he is probably a smoker.

Actually, no. I forgot to mention that.

Hey spins,

Could he be the guy Jethro sings about in this song?

http://jethro-tull.lyrics-songs.com/lyrics/19893/

Bring him kleenex.

Not sure how to approach him about it. Could you say something to his boss to the effect that his volume is disrupting the office? Also would some sort of hand fidget type stimming help keep you from going over the edge? Someone came in here a little while ago with the Eau-du-Toxic Waste cologne and the lump of polished titanium in my pocket is currently the only thing between them and high speed lead poisoning!

There is a guy where I work who is EXACTLY like that! He hacks and coughs very loudly, and has some other nasty habits as well, like not washing his hands after going to the bathroom. Anyway everyone hates him, but the company is afraid to fire him (long story) so he sits there all day and coughs exactly like you describe - every couple of minutes, LOUD, and with no end in sight. People have been moved to other cubicles and some people have probably quit to get away from that nastiness.

Hey, thanks for your replies everybody! I knew you'd understand. Curse hypersensitive hearing! fahreeq, it sounds like this guy's been cloned! Gah, the horror!! !

I have actually mentioned this to one other person in the other building. He said I'm not the only one who's been bothered by this, but at the moment, I'm the only one who has a cubicle next to the guy. When I interviewed, they said a deaf person was also being considered for the job. I'm wondering if there was a reason for that. Hmm...

06xrs, I probably should get some kind of hand-stimming thingy. Good idea. I need one of those squeezy martian toys or something. Hehe... I also thought about getting one of those sound-activated toucan toys for my cube. So every time he coughs, the toucan coughs back!

And thanks for the lyrics, Papillon! Yeah, maybe that is him. Although, he reminds me more of Lorraine from Mad TV.

*pokes* hey, you!

I really think, since it's the holidays, you should leave a gift basket full of cough drops and throat spray and various other cold medicines on his desk.

Hey! *pokepoke*

Yeah, I should do that. And leave a card with some numbers of ear, nose and throat specialists in it...

...And add a copy of Jethro Tull's Aqualung CD to that.

We had family over during Christmas break, and my youngest cousin (age 10) brought along his "spy gear" toys -- including a little recorder with motion-sensor playback. Basically, I think you might wanna try and get this gizmo.

Record his hacking, then hide it somewhere in his cubicle when he's out. Then any time he passes the toy, he'll hear himself! Sometimes people have to hear it to realize what they're doing actually annoys others.

Good luck!

I also get to the point of violent urges when something like this bothers me...each and everytime someone sniffs, coughs, whatever bothers me, my body tenses up and I just want to smash something.

I would hate to be in your situation, and would definately need a solution as this would just make my day miserable. Though most people dont respond very well when these things are pointed out to them...or maybe I do it wrong, who knows.

Good luck and I hope you find a way to fix this!