HOLDING A JOB AND LIFE AFTER COLLEGE

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PLEASE HELP - Any suggestions as to how parents can help their son/daughter who has Asperger's transition from the college campus to living in the "real world" and holding a job???? There's nothing out there that we've been able to find and from what I have heard at various seminars, even students with Asperger's who are very bright and do well academically find it difficult to hold jobs and live independently because of their poor social skills. Any information or thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

An internship is important. Companies don't want to hire anyone who doesn't have any experience.

I'm somewhat close to finishing my Bachelor's, yet my parents (in addition to school) in my opinion have poorly prepared me for the real world, and seem to be content with letting me live with them until they're dead...

Sounds like a sweet deal to me.

Internships (paid or unpaid). Having a resume when you graduate is pretty much a necessity these days. Universities are cranking out graduates at 10,000 a commencement per school - you'd better have something that sets you above the mob. I would caution any student to not consider going to a college or university without having done/doing volunteer work or an internship in their field at least by their graduation, if not before they even start college. They are going to stand a very good chance of being seriously disadvantaged in their job hunt if all they have is a diploma clutched in their hand.

Summer jobs. Working in these jobs requires you master the skills necessary to work full time later on. If the kid is fired, they'll have to find another job - people do get fired in "the real world" and you have to learn how to learn from that and how to pick yourself up and go on. One doesn't necessarily list these short-term summer jobs done while in college on a resume anyway, so the trial-and-error approach on survival in the workplace can be done without much risk (except to their egos when fired).

An added benefit is that the kid learns how much work is necessary to earn a dollar, hence the value of thrift. Good luck!

PS Depending on where one lives, staying at home with parents (as long as they are amenable and you're paying your share of the bills) isn't all that much of a negative. If you can only earn minimum wage and rents for a one-bedroom apartment are $1,000 a month, it makes no sense for you to move out at that point. The caveat is the "you are contributing to the upkeep of the household" bit - you are not freeloading.

Time for you to take charge of your life.

I ened my collage and spent a few mounths afterwards living with mom and dad before I moved out on my own. The way they helped me was to basicly help me out financially, get settled, get everything I need. Of course I still owe mom and dad thousands of dollars, and many times this kind of loan is impossible, but being settled in and having all I needed made it soooo much easier to get into the liftstyle I wanted (live alone, regular routine) so I could now focus on finding a decent job and planning.

Thats how my parents helped me anyways. I also get a copy of microsoft money which I use to balance my budget. All vitally important.

The real world is not that hard. As long as you can make enough money a month to pay for rent, sock some away for savings (with the goal of stashing it away in a good retirement plan), and do what you want to do on the weekends, regardless of what the rest of the world expects you to say or do.

The only downside I've found after graduation is finding work that puts my degree to good use. Currently, I'm working retail, but I have my degree in accounting with a math minor. I've been job hunting for a good position with an accounting firm, but because I couldn't get any internships, or say the right things in a job interview, everyone freaks out that I'm just insane.

The hardest part in finding a real career is to answer all of these catch-phrase based questions with similarly hokey, politician answers. I don't know how Clinton managed to swindle his way through commiting perjury, but the "real world" is filled with delinquents who thing "It depends what the definition of "is" is..." is a better answer to "Are you willing to work this gas pumping job as a long term career?" than "No, because I want to go somewhere with my life, and pumping gas is just going to pay the bills."

I mean, good lord, they have signs out now in front of the local gas stations that say "Now Hiring Team Players"! [INSERT EXCESSIVE CURSING AND BLASPHEMY HERE]

Honestly, the best thing you can do for your son or daughter is encourage them to take a few finance and business classes, as well as attend some of the business club's social dinners that teach proper business meeting dinner etiquette. These courses and club activities teach you things that even the most suave of NTs don't grasp, like where to put your spoons to signal to the waiter that you're done with your main dish, or how to properly dress to impress (something many college grads can't do, as they're practicing kegger push-ups or getting stoned).

The other thing is to encourage them to use the internet, an automated services over humans any day of the week. Self-checkout lanes, ATMs, career websites (such as Monster.com, CareerBuilder.com, etc), have always proven far more useful to me than any human who, after a half an hour, still can't understand my intelligently asked question because I didn't end it with "Git 'er dun!" or "Wazzup!"

The one useful thing you can teach your child, whether on the Autism spectrum, or Neuro-Typical, is that all the people they will run into are blithering idiots. They are a waste of the proteins and carbon chains they are made of. In fact, most of these people couldn't be self-reliant to save their lives. Remember, these are the people that make up the ever-expanding service industry in the western world, and who are eliminating the gross domestic product of their home nations, because of their own inability to find work, simply by becoming "self employed", inserting themselves as yet another middle-man in the product supply chain.

A great example of this are the eBay brick and mortar stores now present in America, where people offer the service of selling things on eBay FOR YOU! Yeah, because learning how to move a graphical icon on a computer screen with a mouse is SO difficult!

In summary, the lesson you really should spend your whole lifetime teaching your son or daughter, regardless of their mental condition, is how to survive on their own, whether it be sitting them down beside you in grade school, teaching them how you pay your electric bill, to learning how to build a shelter in a wilderness survival scenario, or first aid.

Because face it, the only difference between the "Survivorman" series, and a city like New York, are how many idiots are all lost in the same place.

What is the difference between having an intership while in school and having one once you're done?

Not much, really. Except that if you have one while you're in school you have it to list on your resume when you go looking for a job after you graduate. Saves time. Also, if it's a good internship, it allows you to pull things out of your classes that you can potentially apply in your "real world" internship and maybe give you a clue which things are just fluff that you'll never use or see again once you leave school.

On another poster's note re: Monster, etc., for job searches. It really does depend on your field. In mine, for example, there's nothing on Monster, and there probably never will be. There are trade journals for most professional fields. Many of them offer job listings. If you're in a profession - you're looking for an accounting or engineering or research job, etc. - I'd strongly urge you to look in them. You might also check them to see if there are any professional or social groups of people in the same line of work in your area and try to get involved with them, a bit. Never hurts. Anyway, if you limit yourself to one avenue of looking for work (either just Monster, or just the online job adverts, etc.,) you'll be selling yourself short.

I could do an "intership" over the summer, but I won't graduate as quickly. I'm not sure which way to go.

i agree with everything Nan has written. I think the biggest help my parents gave me was pushing me to start a paper round when I was 14 and nagging me about any short periods of unemployment ever since! So I have an actual CV packed with stuff I've done.

With regard to living alone and the difficulties associated with working I think the biggest thing you can do is be there to talk to, present yourself as a source of advice for all kinds of practical matters and be willing to talk for as long as they need about things.