I think it makes sense.
First, I think it's great you're trying and staying with the job. You should be proud of yourself. That's probably not easy to be, but you have reason for some personal pride!
Okay, here's what I see. You're in a situation where you are interacting socially with someone who is I assume is disabled. You go to their home, and you are expected to provide some level of what would amount to nursing assistant care, whether it is direct assistance, physical therapy, or something similar. In doing that, you're getting into situations that you don't recognize as being against you. You're not seeing the signs, you're not recognizing the dangers. For now, fortunately, your boss, your mom, and perhaps a friend or coworker are recognizing it and helping to intervene.
Do I understand it correctly?
I'll guess you're capable of doing the actual work. If you've been with this for 9 months and your boss has been doing things to give you work and protect you from bad situations, you probably have the right skills for the mechanics of the job. In other words, you are a capable person who works hard. This is a Good Thing!
I'd guess too, however, that you are not well matched personalitywise. You're in a situation where you're dealing with people. I read one book that said 70% of all communication is non-verbal. I don't know if it's true, but it's probably not far from correct. As an aspie, you're missing most of the communication from your clients. Your ability to detect BS is probably close to zero, and your susceptibility to be conned or socially engineered (tricked into doing something you don't want to do) is high.
Does that make sense?
I work in the technical field. I could easily become a manager if I wanted. I've told managers I am not a "people person", and they tell me I'm far better at it than I think. While I've engineered lots of solutions to social situations, I would fail as a manager. I can't deal with people. I'm easily conned. I have only a rudimentary ability to detect BS from people. In my work I'm in limited social situations. I'm given work, I do it. I interact with coworkers and managers, and it is generally a non-hostile social environment for me. That's not to say it's perfect; it isn't. Mostly however I avoid the dangerous social situations. Mostly.
Again, does any of this make sense?
If this does make sense, is there a way to work in the disability field where you don't have to deal with clients in situations that expose you to such extremes of social interaction? Rather than working in peoples' homes, can you shift your work or change your job to work in a clinic or hospital? Are there other jobs outside of disability care or health care that you'd rather do that would reduce the high risk social interaction?
Those are just my thoughts, and I hope they're helpful to you. You're obviously doing some things right, because if you weren't you wouldn't have been employed for this long.
If you can talk with your mom or friends and they can help, that would be good. Ultimately you probably need to try to understand what YOU need to be able to work (especially as it relates to your social environment), and then HOW to get it. Yes, you can get your needs met.
Anyway, I'll stop here. Hope this helps! Good luck!! !! !! !
30 Sep 2005, 7:06 pm
