When I was going to school, in no way did I ever want to be a manager. Ever. All I wanted to do was to work on my projects, do my programs, and basically mind my own business. To make a long story short, it was very very hard but very worth it.
I went through a lot of contracts, picking up this and that in my job. But, if I wanted to get full time, I had to head west. And in moving west, accept the fact that most, if not all the jobs are in supervision.
That being said, my first job was HARD!! ! I learned about gossip, miscommunication, lack of support, and had to hear some very very hard comments about myself. Many of which touched on some Aspie traits, but I had not been diagnosed at that time. So, basically, the expression "burned a lot, but learned a lot" applies there. I got lucky towards the end. My manager in that position laid out in black and white what she would have expected of me at the beginning, as I had strongly told her that I would appreciate a feedback session so I can know what I should have been doing, and what I need to focus on. I will do that before leaving any other job, even good ones, as it always gives food for thought. That meeting even touched on how to politely interrupt people's conversations. Honestly, the only thing that kept me going was advice from my aunt (who has been a principal in schools for many years) who told me to take conversations like this like they are in my best interests and act on them, and also to set aside negative reactions for a period of time before acting on them. Really, I kept those two things pinned to my mental bulletin board and they kept me through the tough times.
Then, I got lucky.
I got an interview at a place in a position where I LOVED the job description. I asked about all the negative aspects of my previous job (which, by the way had not really appeared on the previous job's application). I was told that they would never be in my job. When I was asked about my managerial experience, I was positive but honest. I said something to the effect of, "I have been through a sort of boot camp. I know that I have made mistakes, but I have really tried to learn from them." And then stated whatever I had learned that was applicable. I did this just in case they contacted my previous workplace, as I did not want to seem to lie. Now, I am also only in middle management. Unlike my old job, I don't have to run the whole building, just two or three people, and this gives me relief that might seem unimaginable. I also don't face the consistent barrage of interruptions that I would get, even though I have an open door policy, as my new workplace is set away from the main area.
For the first six months in my first job, it was quite the learning curve. If I were to do that whole thing over again, here is what I would do. First, I would clarify and ask questions about my own job description,and that of the people I am supervising. Next, I would meet with and take notes on all of my staff's expectations and what they like/don't like, and how well are things going. This has to be done AT LEAST MONTHLY!! !! I truly did not know that. And it does not have to take long -- just a few questions on various elements of the job, asked privately but offhandedly. I am learning that I cannot just spout off ideas offhandedly, and that they have to be thought through and asked in semi-private circumstances before asked in larger spaces. I have also learned the value of asking my manager for permission saying something like, "an ipad app like this would make sense for our project. X, Y and Z are good options and here are their prices" rather than "do you think it's ok for my to buy an app? i am really slow at... and would find it helpful".
This was something that I just learned this month. Some people ask questions about introducing new projects/tasks in order to tell people that they are supposed to be doing them. I however, only ask questions like that, in order to get ideas, ask for feedback, etc. I did not realize that I had to specify that these were just in the ideas stage only, and that I only ask questions because I CARE what other people think, especially if those other people are the ones who will be doing the job!
Seriously, I would recommend learning how to read "stressed" or "busy" in people's body language too. I have, I think, difficulties with that. And sometimes dealing with sarcasm. So I am not the perfect manager. I am lucky though. One of my NTs is on the ball, optimistic, respectful and compliments me, and works HARD. Another thing is keeping a good relation with peers/fellow managers. I think one of them thinks I don't know what I am doing (she was formerly in my job and is still a bit attached to it), but I am focusing on accepting her suggestions as "good ideas/reminders" (as in my aunt's rules) and am glad to be invited by her (and to sometimes invite her) and our other coworker to lunch and be included in the conversation.
I have also sought out job coaching so that I can maintain a better system of organization for my personal space as well as my time. This has been invaluable. Family coached me on eye contact, and on conversation skills.
Sorry this was so long. I just didn't think I could do it short!
30 Nov 2012, 5:19 pm
