Coping with a coworker with AS

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Everyone, excuse my ignorance here, but I am trying to get a little more perspective here. First let me give you a little background. I work as a chemist in a scientific laboratory. It is a very technically demanding job that even a person without a mental disability would have a hard time with. We hired Nathan about a year and a half ago. He's a young guy, and this was a his first full time job out of college. At first, we all thought he was a little peculiar, but no one really gave it a second thought. A lot of us were impressed with how task oriented and focused he was. He was given some of the easier testing to do to help ease him into his new position, and he excelled at it. Now the rest of us realize this can be a tough job, and I find that most people in the lab are always willing to help the new people. This job is not only technically demanding, but it also requires initiative to solve problems quickly and adapt to constantly changing situations. No matter how much we have tried to help him with make his job somewhat easier, we get pushed away. It has been almost two years since he has been here, and he refuses to learn anything new. I feel bad for the guy, because of his refusal to want to learn anything has alienated him from the rest of the lab, and has caused the rest of our workloads to increase because he only wants to do one thing. And now we all just feel like we are being held to a double standard. If I refused to do work on a daily basis, I would not have my job much longer. But he gets a pass, and it affects the rest of the team.

After a year plus of observing him, and doing some research on my own, everything about AS describes Nathan to a T. I don't know if he has been diagnosed with AS or not, but it is causing quite a rift in the lab. But I don't think it just affects us, I can tell the stressful environment is taking a big toll on him. I think the stress is just too much for him. He goes a hundred miles an hour all day every day. He comes into work often with wrinkled clothes, unshaven, and his hair looking like it hasn't been washed in days.

Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with him on a daily basis? Talking to him is impossible because he doesn't listen, he just looks right past me when I am talking to him, waiting for his turn to talk. When I try to train him, he isn't interested in learning at all. I can't help how other people in the lab feel about him, but I would really like to know that he isn't a lost cause.

It does sound very Asperger's. I don't really have advice (never worked or anything) but I applaud you coming here for a better understanding. ^__^

The more disgruntled everyone becomes the more he will likely stay set in his ways if he is an aspie and yes the description is right on. It is possible that your co-worker and employer are aware of his diagnosis but its kept confidential, this may be why he is allowed to keep to one task. How did he respond to all the "positive reinforcement" and compliments given him when he started. I do not take compliments well if anything they distract me and I become more introverted, is there anyone there he connects with ? they may be the key.

> If I refused to do work on a daily basis, I would not have my job much longer. But he gets a pass,

And why is that happening? Have you talked to his supervisor? I've heard about situations like this where an AS person doesn't cope well with changes, but usually they don't get away with in effect slacking by cherry picking. I can't understand why he's getting away with this.

Curious.

Does your work have an annual review? Because it's possible that you could make your "concerns" known to your supervisor, and these things could be discussed at this employee's review (or in some similar situation). If you could make up a VERY structured outline of his current duties, including what he does well AND what he needs to work on, and also do a very detailed outline of expectations you have for him that would alleviate some of the pressures on your co-workers, he may respond well to this. Making your requests very specific, and cut down into small chunks or steps, could be the way to success for this employee. Also, if these "steps" are written down, he will have something to refer to.

My experience as an NT with sons on the spectrum, and possibly a father and a father-in-law, is that inuendo or subtlety does not work -- one has to be very pragmatic, very specific, and very clear about expectations. Otherwise, many people on the spectrum don't catch on. Having said this, though, when expectations are made clear, concise, and understandable, the work ethic kicks in and the results can be wonderful. One thing that may need to be made clear -- as an employee, you cannot do only the work that you like. All the other employees must do what they are asked, whether they like the particular assignment or not. This expectation will be the same for ALL employees, etc.

hm, i can totally relate to your colleague however i don't need to be a part of the team-work so when i refuse work that my boss gave me i have an alternative work of my own that i am responsible for (i produce papers and patents). it still causes stir and resentment but we have the results so it goes somewhat.
anyway i hate learning new things if i don't think that i need them for my current project.
my best advice is to delegate a work that he should produce himself and leave him alone. you can tell him the recipe/procedure (or better print it out) but don't try to teach him step by step.

Sadly, people with AS are not all the same.

My 2 cents is to see if you can get to know him better as a person. Most people with AS have problems because they really are clueless of how others see them, and even if they know how they are perceived, they don't know how to properly deal with the problem.

There can also be trust issues where you could tell him how to adapt better, but does he trust you to not hurt him by feeding him false information?