Driving off the ol' career track and into the woods

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I'm really, really not sure what I want to do with my life, and I'm getting a bit old to be trying to find myself. I'm 26 - still young enough to explore, but I definitely feel the pressure to choose a track and get on it.

I just left an office job that I really despised. I worked there for 2 and a half years and now I'm pretty sure I don't want to work in an office ever again, unless I'm doing some specific task that is more enjoyable than general office work. My last job was writing reports, going to meetings, sending emails. Horrorshow.

I can't even say I have a dream I want to follow, because my dream is to write novels. Maybe someday I will be able to do that for a living, but in the meantime I wnt to get a job that does not involve writing and that will let me keep writing as my hobby.

So I have to get another job now. I feel pressure from my family and former bosses to find something "progressive" - to keep climbing some ladder. It certainly would help me address my debt if I could find a job that paid as well as my office job. I think a bit about going back to school - to get a Masters and do lab research, or go back and get a nursing degree (I'm too aloof to be good at that job but nursing would give me flexibility to move somewhere new or work part-time), or go get a teaching degree (which is required to teach in Canada), or get my MFA in creative writing (not really career related, but something I wouldn't mind doing if I can get a scholarship). So... basically, there are options where I can go back to school in another year or two to get myself back on some track if need be.

Knowing that I have these academic "backup plans", I don't know if it's as important that I get some career-track job right away. I mean, does it make sense to get a professional job if you hate the profession and will just keep looking for a way out?

I'm qualified for a few jobs - mostly in offices, but some lab stuff (which doesn't pay all that well but at least I could be proud to say I work in research). But the only job I really feel compelled to do right now is working in this call centre for OnStar, giving GPS directions over the phone. It's not a prestigious job - it pays more than minimum wage, but not a lot more. All you need is high school to work there. You can theoretically get promoted, but I have no desire to be a manager. I just like the idea of learning more about GPS, working in a more fast-paced environment than your typical office, and talkng to people. I'm awkward around people in person but I like talking over the phone. And I've noticed that my speaking skills have deteriorated in recent years because I don't talk to people often. I feel like I need a job to help me practice talking more. Plus, I want to have the opportunity to listen to people from different dialects - people from all over the US and the way they use language. That would really help my writing.

The only downside of the job (well, other than the low pay and unprestigious nature of the job) is that it's a shift-bid system. I have no problem working weird shifts (in fact, I'd love to work the overnight shift) but with this job you have to bid on shifts every month so you have no idea what hours you'll be working next month. That's a problem because I take night school courses and so it would make it difficult to commit to a course if I wasn't sure I'd be able to attend class next month. Oh, another problem is that my whole family will make fun of me if I work there. My brother and cousin work there and they think that university is a waste of time and money and therefore they are smarter than any university grad (they've seen Good Will Hunting and miss the point of the movie, which is that you don't have to go to university to be smart, but you do have to READ). So if I started working there they'd make fun of me to no end. My mom also mocks me any time I suggest getting a job there - "oh sure, you're going to work for $12 an hour." I don't see it as a long-term career, but it seems like something interesting to do for the next year or so.

So... I don't know what to do. There are a lot of things about myself that I'm trying to work on - just things that most people figure out in high school or university - how to be around other people, how to be comfortable with themself, how to look good and have fun, how to keep their place organized and cook 3 meals a day and have a gym routine. That's my focus right now. I'm not so concerned about building a career because any career I've tried to build so far has turned out to be not what I want to do anyway. I'd rather work on getting to the point of being okay with myself.

On the other hand, even this lower-level job would give me some new skills that might help with future jobs. For instance, if I like GPS, I would consider getting a certificate and working in the field. I'd get more customer service experience, which could help me get into a job working with customers or clients (or deciding whether I could stand such a job). It would help if I wanted to get into a police dispatch job or air traffic control (two jobs I've considered recently).


THE BASIC POINT:
I guess I just can't convince myself what to do next because I run up against so much resistance from family and former bosses if I want to take a job that doesn't use any of my education. Is it okay to step away from the career track and just work some frivolous job for awhile? How do you convince people around you that you're not crazy or stupid? If I go back to school in a few years, the non-career-track job won't matter much, but will it be a problem if I wanted to apply for a job next year and they see this "blip" on my resume? I'll be changing career tracks if I take another job, so it's not like my next career-track job will look anything like my last one, anyway.

If you think it makes you happy, do it.

I feel your pain. I've been going through the same thing for years. I'm in IT, which is supposedly aspie friendly, and I am good at most aspects of it, but I'm burned out beyond belief and the isolated nature of the work I do does nothing to help me grow. I think that is a big reason why I've been unable to focus as of late. That and the sheer pointlessness of it. I give 40 hours or more a week out of my life so some rich guy can get richer, and I can have earn just enough to keep the bill collectors of my back until next month... I think my subconscious has actually had enough and is blocking me from accomplishing anything short-term until I make some long term plans. Fortunately I don't have a wife or kids to be affected, but unfortunately my parents have become increasingly financially dependent upon me due to some bad decisions they made plus my father being physically disabled. But I'm getting off subject... I've known I wanted to get out of IT for at least 5 years now, but haven't been able to find something else that appeals to me enough to drive me to make the commitment, both monetary and time, that it will take.

Last edited by LoveableNerd on 15 May 2008, 12:51 am, edited 1 time in total.

I can barely imagine anything more stressful then giving lost people directions or anything more boring. I don;t see how it will aid you in speaking skills in general. I also hate swing shift. I have worked only over nights for the past 13 years but that is because I am anti-social, an insomniac and hate the sun.

$12 an hour is good money to me. I make less then that cleaning up animal feces and getting pounced on by 100 pd dogs (but they are really cute and fuzzy,so I don't mind to much.) It's the barking that is killing me and the reason I am looking for a new job myself. Have you considered working in social services. It pays about the same but would be great experience for writing. Over nights gives you lots of time to read,write,study. I worked in a house with 4 developmentally delayed guys and all but one(who was violent) were great. I also think it's good experience if your interested in nursing to get an entry level job in a hospital. It would give you a better idea of what the nursing field is like, make connections(the most important thing for getting a job after you get a degree. many of them actually will pay for good workers to go to school. They are desperate for workers but it can be very hard work and you will need a strong stomach. I think it makes more sense as far as learning social skills and getting practice talked to people. Lot of stressed out lonely people there.



I would love to work in a lab but we have had a few people here who do and complain about lots of lazy co-workers and petty gossipy people...so, not much different then high school, it seems.

I don't think an off track job would hurt your resume, it shouldn't, anyway. I think it is helpful for people to have all kinds of work experienc. You learn things any where and most jobs that will hire you will still have to train you to do things "there way". It helps if you have some experience working with some of the same machines or using "in job" lingo....seems like every occupation has it's own acronyms and code words and I think being able to use them in an interview actually seems to impress tsome HR people.

Good luck. I'm 44 and have had many very diverse types of jobs, from social service to waitress to landscape and construction...I think it's fun to learn new things and most jobs teach you more then you will ever learn in classes. At least that is my experience being a psych major vs working in the field.

What rule or law says you have to have a "job"? All you need to do is earn money. In a pinch you can knock on people doors asking to cut their grass (with your lawn mower in plain view sticking out of the trunk of your car). How about resale between garage sales/craigslist/live auctions/flea markets/Ebay? Advertizing service like car waxing and/or repair? I'm sure other people can add to my list of ideas.

Hmm.. well, let's see.. the $300 a month in student loan payments, plus the $8000 credit card loan that I'm hoping to pay off in the next year or two, plus the $10,000 loan my parents expect me to pay back in the next 3 years together demand at least $10,000 a year just to tread water. Then add to that a bus pass, and paying for the gym membership and continuing education courses that seem to provide my sanity (and train fare to get downtown). Oh yes, and food. Even if I live with my parents I'd need to make $20,000 a year, or $10/hour just to be broke but sustaining myself. That's without a car.

School was the only thing that ever gave me any self-esteem. People made fun of me all the time as a kid. I figured, once I'm older I'll be a success and then I'll show them. I got a Masters degree, I could do tons of other "successful" academic programs but I have too many defects to build a successful career right now. So if I'm working at McDonalds, what value am I to myself or to the world?

I actually *need* a job that has some stress like that. I loved the stress of waitressing - just hated the leg and back pain. I thrive on stressful situations - I volunteer in live TV (love it) and I'm always the one to give quick decisive directions while my parents are yelling over where to go. I want a job that is somewhat boring, because I find the right kind of dullness stimulates my mind to think about other things. My office job was the wrong kind of dullness, because my brain was constantly engaged. The work was boring but my mind couldn't escape to do something else, because I always had to be reading or writing.

The directions job isn't swing shift. You have a different shift every month, but it doesn't swing. You usually are able to pick what time of day it is at - early mornings or later in the day or evenings - but you don't always get exactly what you pick (eg you might get Tuesdays off instead of Thursdays, and you might start at 8 am, not 9:30). Evenings are generally unpopular, except for the regulars who prefer that shift (because it's quieter).



It's a good idea, but I know I would hate it. I've worked in other jobs like that - as a residential advisor and as a tutor, and the elements I hated most were the parts that are intrinsic to social services - spontaneous interaction with people, being physically around them, disciplining them. Ugh. Plus around here you pretty much need a college diploma in social services to work in a group home (my brother did that, so I know) and it also pays about $10-12/hr. I'd rather do something comfortable and fun if I'm just making slightly above min wage. (Min wage here is almost $9/hr).



If I wanted to work in another office, an off-track job would definitely hurt my resume. Going from project coordinator to, say, waitress, is a no-no, unless you have some justification for the position, like you're only doing it part-time while going back to school. There are some tangential jobs that I know I could sell as being valuable experience - basically anything where I would live in a foreign country while working (even at a minimum wage job) or certain jobs in leading other people. Other than that, though, it's seen as a step backwards. My only saving grace is that I have no desire to work again in an office, so my next career move will be sideways anyway. So it's not as bad to take some low-level job. But I'll definitely have to work harder to sell my experience.

$20K/yr without a job is very doable.

I don't think it matters if you take a job based on your education. Most people work so that they can afford do the things they like in their spare time. Lucky people get to work jobs that they enjoy. The luckiest get to work jobs they enjoy and can afford to do other things they like during spare time.

Are you saying that you're not okay with yourself unless you have a job that you enjoy? Or is it just that the jobs you've had are not enjoyable?

I've invested a lot of energy, time, and money into pursuing careers that sound good in theory but that have not made me happy or that have major barriers that I'm just not able to surmount. I spent years planning to go to medical school, but I just don't have the energy to handle that program and that career. I did another degree in policy because it was paid for but I absolutely loathe any job in the field. I've also taken night school courses to work in journalism and publishing, but I realize those don't make use of the skills I actually want to use in a job.

So, basically I don't think it has helped me any to jump hurdles to get into a field that I like in theory. I've just become more miserable and more disatisfied with the working world. I like learning about these concepts in school, working on my own schedule, and learning about new subjects every term. But then when you work in that field, you're there on their schedule, and it's all about interacting with people on the same boring subject every single day you work there.

People like my mom are telling me to go get a good job and meet some external definition of success. But there are so many things wrong with me - the things most people figure out in high school or college: social skills, being out of shape and physically graceless - that I don't think I could really be happy in any job until I deal with these things. If I had endless time and money I'd devise my own program to get okay with myself: take another improv class to get comfortable in my own skin and play around with social interaction (the last class I took helped me with my social anxiety and conversation skills but there's still a lot to learn); take a creative writing class to nurture my most important talent; take martial arts or ballet classes to get more control of myself physically and again, learn to feel comfortable in my own skin; take an english literature or film analysis course to help understand the craft so I can apply it to my writing; spend time at the gym to build my flexibility and endurance, and help get my body into a shape where I feel like a human being. Sometimes I think I should just find a job that lets me do these things and doesn't put me deeper into debt. But in order to do that I'd pretty much need to work full-time at a low-level job, and if I'm working full time I don't have the time to take all these classes.

So, the dilemma...

I'm going to assume from this that the most important thing going forward for you is feeling good about yourself. You need to find a job that will make it possible to do the things necessary to accomplish this. If that means taking a higher paying job that you don't like (so you have more spare time to take care of yourself), that's the sacrifice you're going to have to make.

I'm in a similar position to you, Scheherazade. I'm looking for a job right now, and I have no idea where to settle and what to hold out for. I don't know if I should get a random job just to make money, or wait for something that has more career potential. But, you have a great thing going for you-- you know that there are more important things in life than what job you have. This is something I struggle with, this feeling of "incompleteness" around being unemployed. But the hobbies and interests that you talk about will serve you well.

I still don't know whether I agree with that, though. A higher paying job would not give me more time to take care of myself. I mean, yes, theoretically, if I could work 40 hours at a low-paying job or 20 hours at a high-paying job to earn the same amount, then I'd go with the high-paying job. But most high-paying jobs - the ones I'm qualified for at least - are almost exclusively the 9-to-5 Monday-to-Friday variety. And working that many hours at a job that sucks out your soul makes it difficult to find the energy to work hard at things on the side. Plus, I'm moving to the suburb, so a higher paying job also means a commute of 3-4 hours a day, so it ends up being less time.

I've worked in a decent-paying job for 2 and a half years, and I've only gotten less and less capable of taking care of myself. And I wasn't commuting at the time. But I could always tell myself I could avoid cleaning my place, could keep eating out (trashy food, mostly) because I just didn't have time. And I actually got deeper in debt because I spent a lot of money on trying to make myself feel better. And when I've taken courses, I've ended up skipping classes, dropping courses, and just avoiding doing the work because it's too hard to manage. So... well-paying job so far has done nothing to make me okay with myself.

Depends on your priorities, I guess. I mean, I'm lucky to get unemployment insurance so I don't have a huge pressure to get any job ASAP. I can take a little time to find one that fits. It's weird though, because I actually am very career-oriented. It's just that my first priority is nurturing my "hobby" and maybe making it my career some day. The careers that I'm trained for are not the careers I want to do. I'm missing something in my life that seems not to appear in office jobs - a little adventure, a little spontaneity.

Are you just coming out of school? Or are you leaving another job? The one thing I regret when coming out of school was feeling that pressure to "prove myself" and get a career-track job that paid well. I hated my job = not because I was the bottom of the totem pole (that was actually the best thing about it, not having the responsibility that my bosses had) - but because it was such a horrible fit. But I didn't want to quit and try out some of the other career ideas that were going through my mind (since neglected, because they ultimately end up looking the same as my last job).

The one thing I did right was doing some volunteering while I worked. That and taking a few career-oriented night classes. The volunteering opened my eyes to industries and roles much differnet from my workplace, and helped me decide not to continue in my current job. The night courses were professionally-oriented and helped me learn about life in those industries and connected me to job postings. If I wanted to get into publishing or journalism, I would be well set based on what I learned in these classes. But I also learned it's not right for me. But I would seriously recommend exploring your interests part time - it can open up doors for jobs of interest and also can be fun. Whether you take a part-time job or hold out for something better depends on how desperate you are for money and how bored you are. Sometimes you can find a part-time job related to your field that will give you new skills and help you break into the field or transition into a new role. But beware of taking on a part-time position that you don't want to do - it can tire you out before you have time to search for your dream job.