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Bethie
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17 Mar 2011, 9:41 pm

I was out with my dad today and decided to pick up an application- I don't know why.
I saw they were hiring, and was so surprised and semi-confident over some progress I've made lately that something came over me.

I was doing fine with filling it out, until I got to the portion that asks for references, other than former employers and family.

Is having references really so important?
(It's for a buffet-type restaurant. Nothing schmancy at all.)


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universeofone
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17 Mar 2011, 10:28 pm

Let me know if you need a reference.



Bethie
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17 Mar 2011, 10:58 pm

universeofone wrote:
Let me know if you need a reference.


I don't know you. But thanks.


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mikeseagle
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17 Mar 2011, 11:03 pm

To tell you the truth it depends on the person hiring.

Some employers I know will call them and look down on the person doing the application if none are listed. Jobs I have applied for in the past I was either rejected or got the job without calling the references. If you are in competition with someone else for the job, the employer might call the references in order to make a final decision.

If you are stuck with trying to put down someone other family and employers, ask people that you may associate with on a regular basis. Like your neighbors, if you go to church ask someone there. It doesn't have to be friends or anything like that. Just someone that knows you and can honestly say something about you if they are called.



Bethie
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17 Mar 2011, 11:05 pm

mikeseagle wrote:
To tell you the truth it depends on the person hiring.

Some employers I know will call them and look down on the person doing the application if none are listed. Jobs I have applied for in the past I was either rejected or got the job without calling the references. If you are in competition with someone else for the job, the employer might call the references in order to make a final decision.

If you are stuck with trying to put down someone other family and employers, ask people that you may associate with on a regular basis. Like your neighbors, if you go to church ask someone there. It doesn't have to be friends or anything like that. Just someone that knows you and can honestly say something about you if they are called.


I don't know anyone except my parents. :oops:


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wefunction
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17 Mar 2011, 11:12 pm

A friend from a previous work is good. If a former boss is willing to talk you up, that's perfect. When I'm at a loss, I use my fancy friends with the fancy jobs because it looks good that a professor for a big university is willing to give a good reference for little ol' me in a miserable cashiering job. LOL

References are easy.

It's the "Reason for Leaving" bit for each former job that stings.



mikeseagle
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17 Mar 2011, 11:16 pm

wefunction wrote:

It's the "Reason for Leaving" bit for each former job that stings.


Yes that part is hard. I want to say "My boss was moron and I got tired of him" but I doubt that would look good for me.



Bethie
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17 Mar 2011, 11:20 pm

wefunction wrote:
A friend from a previous work is good. If a former boss is willing to talk you up, that's perfect. When I'm at a loss, I use my fancy friends with the fancy jobs because it looks good that a professor for a big university is willing to give a good reference for little ol' me in a miserable cashiering job. LOL

References are easy.

It's the "Reason for Leaving" bit for each former job that stings.


Well, it can't be a former employer....

I was really just asking if references are that important.

I know not a soul in the world except my parents, even casually.


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MooCow
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18 Mar 2011, 12:37 am

See if a couple of your parents friends would be willing to be a reference, or you might see if a couple of people here would do it for you... I've never had a employer call my references, it's very, very unlikely that they will call them.



Bethie
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18 Mar 2011, 12:57 am

MooCow wrote:
See if a couple of your parents friends would be willing to be a reference, or you might see if a couple of people here would do it for you... I've never had a employer call my references, it's very, very unlikely that they will call them.


Maybe I should just mention in my interview that I'm an Autistic recluse.
Though that wouldn't bode very well for my potential people skills on the job, I guess. :lol:


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Cyanide
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18 Mar 2011, 1:31 am

I always put friends as references, and I pretty much never get called...

Former coworkers are probably the best thing to put down. Teachers/professors are good, too. However, I think most of us here have a hard time getting those kinds of good references. :lol:

From the sound of it, you don't have anyone to put down... Have you had a job at all before? If so it shouldn't matter *too* much if you can't come up with references (if your former employer has a good opinion of you, at least :o ). Employers don't always call references. My best friend always puts me as a reference, but I've only been called a couple times.

If you don't have any job history, the best thing to do would be to have your various family members pretend to not be your family... Is it dishonest? Yeah, but who cares these days? Times are so terrible, just about everyone is lying on their applications nowadays.



Bethie
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18 Mar 2011, 6:29 pm

Cyanide wrote:
From the sound of it, you don't have anyone to put down... Have you had a job at all before? If so it shouldn't matter *too* much if you can't come up with references (if your former employer has a good opinion of you, at least :o ).



Thank you for actually reading my info.
I had a job two years ago for a few months in retail (that's under "former employment" on my application)
but I'm not sure what my manager would say about me.
Though I left voluntarily, I was horrible at interacting with people, and my register was always off what it was supposed to be.

:cry:

I wish I hadn't started this thread-
now I'm considering not applying at all.


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For there is another kind of violence, slower but just as deadly, destructive as the shot or the bomb in the night. This is the violence of institutions; indifference and inaction and slow decay.


matt
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19 Mar 2011, 2:36 pm

When I was 22, I was sure that no one would ever hire me. I was really good at what I wanted to do, but I didn't know how to write a résumé, I didn't know how to interview, and I only had one reference.

References are apparently very important because they help you establish a reputation for you. When I got my first job(and the job after that and the job after that) I only had one person for a reference(someone who was like a family member but not actually a family member). I finally got a list of references because I started my own business. I advertised on craigslist.org. I made a good amount of money per hour but it was difficult to get new customers. I was terrible at dealing with people, and a few times the people were abusive and I broke down and cried, but I was very very good at what the business involved and most people were happy with my work. It didn't help me make much money but I was able to use people who I had done work for as a list of references. Even if it's only a part time business, opening a business can be a quick way to get a job.

Other people that might be used as references:

  • Former teachers can be good references. They had enough exposure to you to know if you are smart or have any particular aptitudes. If you don't have any recent former teachers, you can take some classes at a college or community college specifically to get some teachers so you can ask them around finals time.
  • Neighbors can be good references, if you have ever done anything for them. Even things like helping them if you see they need help can be enough to help you build a reputation.
  • Family members, if they don't have the same last name as you, can be good references. This is dishonest, but the worst thing that can happen is that the potential employer finds out. If you don't have any references, then using family members as references is better than not using any references at all. But make sure that they don't disclose a relation to you. They could say something like they're a friend of your family.
  • Friends of family members, if you have ever had any positive interaction with them, especially friends of parents, can be willing to help.

One of the things I found when researching how to get a job is that businesses which aren't very important tend to overly formalize things to make themselves seem more important. Asking for references implies that the place is important enough that a lot of people are applying there and they want to find the best people for the job. It also implies that if you have a job there that the management staff have enough other potential employees that you should be willing to do what they want you to do because they want you to think that if you don't they can easily fire you and hire someone else. Even the worst jobs are likely to ask for references. I don't believe that a restaurant is going to be very stringent about checking your references. It is likely that they won't even call the people you list.

But do make sure to ask each potential reference person if you can use them as a reference. I hate doing that, but no one I've asked has ever told me not to.

Also, when you do get interviews, I would watch this YouTube video to learn how to handle interviews: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0O4jnIpFB4

Here are some sites to help you in job interviews:
http://www.quintcareers.com/job_interviewing_quiz.html
http://lifehacker.com/#!244769/how-to-ace-a-job-interview

Jobs in retail or which involve a lot of interaction with the public are really terrible. I had a job doing tech support and it was terrible. I was really good at it, because my employer just wanted people who could solve the problems and get the callers off the phones quickly. I could do that very well since I didn't small talk, but my supervisor would always change my schedule. I got good reviews but only stayed for several months. It was overwhelming.

Learning about AS helped me identify a lot of the difficulties I had trying to convince people to hire me. It made me research how to make a good résumé and how to behave during interviews. It also made me understand why it seemed so difficult for me to get a job. It made me understand why other people wouldn't hire me and why I was so discouraged and felt like giving up.

I had been sure that no one would hire me and I had years of depression because of it. But after doing a lot of research, I did learn how to get a job. I got a job that pays enough for me to live on my own. And I've been able to keep that job for over two years. And because of that, I'm confident now that I can get another job.



zer0netgain
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19 Mar 2011, 5:30 pm

Bethie wrote:
I was doing fine with filling it out, until I got to the portion that asks for references, other than former employers and family.


Honestly, I don't get this part at all.

First, by eliminating former employers and family, who else should they contact who had relevant information?

Do they expect to get much insight from the friends you chose to list? Do they expect you to list co-workers who would say anything negative against you?



pandabear
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19 Mar 2011, 9:21 pm

Maybe you can get a phone number for yourself (like one of those computer-based phone companies), but make up a different name and be your own reference. Then you can tell them what a great girl you really are when they call.