To say that I am an aspie at an interview

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It seems THAT i AM UN ABLE TO KEEP STEADY EMPLOYMENT sorry just aillte angry. But why is it that I get a job and I am fine till it comes to going to the Christmas party. So for the past couple of years I haven't gone. I have always told my bosses that I am busy on that day.

SO I did this and let go shortly after. Now whenI try to get an interview the person sees me nervous, and makes me think that I have major problems.

So I was wondering if I should just tell the HR person right away that I Aspergers. I am looking for some advice.

Do not tell them. I just got a job at target and they dont know that im an aspie. AS is not recognized as a disability by the ADA act passed in 1990 so if you tell they will think you are weird and then try to find some excuse not to hire you.

just a word of advice

I think you should tell them IF having AS will somehow help you in the job. Like, if you're applying for a job that deals with disadvantaged people, maybe having AS will help you relate to them better. I've applied for some jobs with organizations that work with disabled folks, and I've mentioned my NLD in my cover letter. But, I always mention the good qualities of NLD-- focus, attention to detail, great verbal skills, etc.

But I guess that the chances are, you'll be applying for a job that has no relation to AS at all. My dad is really successful professionally (it does not run in the family ) and has many Aspie traits, I asked him this same question, and he pretty much said:
Don't mention AS/NLD, because it's too hard to explain. Especially when you add the fact that your "disability" also gives you strengths. But, the interviewer will probably notice something is "off" about you. (And I don't mean any offense by that; I'm permanently off ) It might be a good idea to diffuse that with something like, "Interviews make me a little nervous". The employer might feel better if you speak to whatever shortcomings you have that are obvious. Most of them will ask a "what are your strengths/weaknesses" question anyway.
The fact is, most people don't really know what AS is. Interviews are a way to screen OUT people, so only mention AS by name if you can use it to your advantage.

I honestly think, that from the employer's perspective, it would look like you are giving an excuse. That wouldn't make a very good first impression. So I say you just try your hardest.

That's the reason I never mention it for job applications or interviews unless I can use it to an advantage. Employers DO want to see a reason not to employ you...

They also want to see reasons to employ you but it all depends on where you work. I may continue working for target after i go through college cuz i would prefer not to go through another interview

If you do that you won't get hired, even if its a company thats open to accepting aspies - your saying it shows you don't even care enough about getting the job to learn how to act appropriately in the interview.


If the christmas party is that much of a hassle just tell them going is against your religious beliefs. They aren't allowed to ask your religion. Or go about it and the right and honest way, get hired, then share your concerns and needs with the appropriate people.


But seriously no job is going to fire you for not attending a christmas party. I suspect your anxiety over the party affects your performance to the point where they have no choice but to fire you

Last edited by Triangular_Trees on 27 Aug 2008, 1:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sorry, but.

Festivus!

as with anything else, only mention it if its relevant.

If they ask you "do you have any special issues, problems, etc we should know about?", or, if being an aspie gives
you special advantages which you can then also list, such as hyper focus, self education, or whateva.

One would think that the whole point of a forum such as this is to learn coping skills so that an NT interviewer can't tell
your not NT.

Nts are cognicentric and fascist about it, theres no reason to give them any pause to think of you as different unless it
works to your advantage.

I know it's hard to understand (I struggle with understanding it myself), but interviews are loaded with trick questions. Professional interviewers load the interview with what looks like negative questions, and you need to give positive answers to to succeed.

You want it from a middle management perspective . (yes you can be better managers than NTs!! !) Why would a manager want to cater to special needs? He has to treat everyone the same. So its best just not to tell anyone not even coworkers unless you can absolutely trust them.

I don't mention my Asperger's because it's never been relevant to the job I'm interviewing for.

Currently I work on the sales floor, stacking returned items on the shelves and making sure the store looks good. But I am also a backup cashier, so when it gets crowded they call additional cashiers to the front I go. I seem to do okay at it even though it involves alot of eye contact.

I was at Target for a while. In general, I think the company is pretty good for that kind of company.
(I felt like a whore working in retail at all -- blatant capitalism and all that -- but I was hungry. And to top it off, it's an uneducated crowd. I do better with educated people, who are slower to condemn.)
To their credit, Target makes a real effort to keep the culture as positive as possible, and it works surprisingly well. I lasted for about 15 months before they fired me.

--------------------

What I thought (and wrote) after they fired me and just before I found WrongPlanet:

I worked as a legal secretary before my kids were born and had some decent skills. Then I voluntarily stayed home for a while. I went back to school while my youngest was in kindergarten, with the intention of returning to the workforce full-time the following year. Well, that kid just graduated from eighth grade, and I’m still sitting here.

My skills are outdated, but I would be thrilled to take an entry-level position in my field. It is a moderately growing industry, with plenty of jobs. I rarely get an interview, and even more rarely get an offer. On the rare occasion that someone does hire me, it doesn’t last. They never give me a reason that makes sense. “You’re just not the right person,” said one supervisor. “I don’t believe you really want this job,” said another, after I had been there for almost two months. I really liked that job, and had no complaints. They all seem mad at me, as though I should know why.

The last one was a job at Target. And I did it with a smile. And without mentioning my college degrees. I kept my secret so well, a co-worker once whispered to me, as though I might not have guessed, “I think you’re over qualified for this job.” Really – do ya think? Again, the supervisor who fired me did it without saying why, and as though I should already know.

Ok, so I have a terrible personality. But so do a lot of people, and they manage to find work. I will admit that my social instincts are weak and that I’m not very assertive. I have been working on it for a half-century and have made significant progress. Still, I’m hard to read, and people often hallucinate around me. They tend to project their own issues onto me. Compulsive liars imagine that I’m lying with every breath… With coworkers, the dumb ones will say it out loud, and their perceptions are enough to curl your hair. (I never said that or did it, never thought it, am shocked to hear that such a person could be imagined, let alone exist in this dimension of reality.) I am so awed by the stupidity that I can't even defend myself. I am dumbfounded, and just walk away. The smart ones keep it to themselves, and leave me to guess at the unguessable.

The real me is analytical, philosophical, highly moral and slightly arrogant. And I have some background in psychology. But no one knows this. Most of my thoughts are my own, and too long-winded for any real-world situation, so I don’t say much. You want me to haul this garbage can from here to there? Fine. No discussion required. With a happy face, I aspire to be the best damn slug this company has ever had. And I still can’t get a job. My social life stinks, too, but that’s another story.

Last edited by Tahitiii on 29 Aug 2008, 7:27 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Part Two:

That was what I believed, because the truth is just too awful to believe.

The way I see it now, the real problem is that I have no herd-instinct. The main problem with that is authoritarian types can’t handle it. At first, I don’t even understand what they want, because it’s not in the job description, and they refuse to tell me I plain language.

What the bad supervisor really wants you to do is kiss his/her ass, tolerate his abuse, play the game and PASS IT ON. That last part is the most offensive to me, and I flatly refuse, at every level. It is an absolute requirement and they will fire you for failure to comply. But they will never tell you that. No, it has nothing at all to do with my ability to do the job or to follow instructions. At Target, I did absolutely nothing that would give a reasonable person an excuse to complain.

What the supervisor sees in me from the beginning is open defiance, which is not true at all. At first, I’m utterly clueless. Over time I start to suspect that they’re playing a pecking-order game, but I want to give people the benefit of the doubt. They can’t all be pigs, can they?

Eventually, I can no longer pretend and am forced to acknowledge the abuse. They give three choices.
(a) I can shut up and take it, and cower and whimper like a dog. This kind of stress gives me migraines and other symptoms and makes me a basket case, to the point where I can’t function in the job any more.
(b) I can pass the abuse on to someone who does not deserve it. No, I will not consider this, even for a minute.
(c) I can openly acknowledge it as abuse. (Perhaps a cold stare at the right moment that says, “I’m onto you. We understand each other perfectly, and I don’t like being abused.) This is embarrassing to the supervisor, who wants to be seen as enlightened. It’s the worst of all possible crimes, and I must be punished. So now we’re in an open war. We’ll play “gotcha” for a while until s/he finds or fabricates some petty crime, and then I’m history.

The main boss at Target was a wonderful person and understood. After I complained, the only supervisor who was openly harassing me stayed away. But then, over the next three months, the attitudes of the other supervisors started to deteriorate. It was obvious that the one person was running around and whispering so that I couldn’t defend myself. The rest of the supervisors were good people and I can’t really blame them for falling for it eventually. I know that I’m hard to read…

Like I said, the main boss was aware of it and the bad one will probably be fired eventually. Too late to be helpful to me, but I think someone will benefit someday.

By the way, I also complained to the main boss when I saw that same supervisor gather a group of subordinates to enjoy a group laugh about the mannerisms of a ret*d man.

Anyway, I’m thinking that yes, you should tell when it reaches that point where you can’t fake it any more. Had I known about Aspergers, the day I went to the big boss would have been the best time for it. At that point, it was only one person and had not yet started to snowball.

Why didn’t you tell them before they hired you? Because you didn’t know. You still don’t know, really, because you haven’t been properly diagnosed. You’re still exploring the concept and trying to figure out why NTs are so crazy.

For a better explanation, see http://www.kickbully.com/main.html

Last edited by Tahitiii on 29 Aug 2008, 7:46 pm, edited 2 times in total.

all you need is some good psychology and you can fake it.

start with pack psychology and work on over to maslow.