Waitressing...? Is it for aspies?

Page 1 of 2 [ 27 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

ChristinaCSB
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 22 Jul 2007
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 266

24 Jul 2008, 8:28 am

I was wondering if there and any waiters or waitresses here. I think it's the last job on earth I could do because of poor social skills and clumsiness. My mom was one for 15 years.



kitty2
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2008
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 153

24 Jul 2008, 8:38 am

I work as a volunteer in a social centre once in a while, just as a cook, but sometimes you have to do a little bit of serving too which I always find quite stressful. I can only cary 2 plates and I am not really polite too because of poor social skills and I have to focus on not dropping anything. I rather hide in the kitchen than serving!



sartresue
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Dec 2007
Age: 70
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,313
Location: The Castle of Shock and Awe-tism

24 Jul 2008, 8:43 am

Now serving topic

I worked as a dietary aiede for a year, but when the job ended, I could not find another because the other jobs entailed too much memory and serving skills. In a word: NO!! !!


_________________
Radiant Aspergian
Awe-Tistic Whirlwind

Phuture Phounder of the Philosophy Phactory

NOT a believer of Mystic Woo-Woo


Zsazsa
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Apr 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,041
Location: Upstate New York, USA

24 Jul 2008, 9:37 am

I worked as a Dietary Aide for several years and did not have any problems with doing such waitressing work. However, in such
a job, you are involved in alot of face-to face contact with other employees, the people you are serving and anyone else who
comes into the kitchen and dining room.

Waitressing also, involves taking orders from people, carrying plates of food on a tray, (which can be heavy at times) and after
serving the people with their food, a good waitress will make several passes by the table to ask if everything is fine, "do they need any additional coffee or water", or other things as they are eating.

It is also, helpful in a waitress job to put on a happy face, smile alot and present yourself as a friendly, courteous person... even in spite of the "bad" day you may be having...if you expect to receive a tip when the people finish their meal and leave.



Pond
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jul 2008
Gender: Female
Posts: 5

24 Jul 2008, 11:07 am

I'd like to think, never say never. Maybe you could try being a hostess for a while and see how you do. Are you normally very polite? I tried this before, being a hostess, but once I lost my temper because the customer was incredibly rude and I didn't have the skills to hold my feelings in. But that was years ago I was only 16. Today I believe I could handle it fairly well, but it's not easy, it will certainly be exausting to you, probably as much as if you were a doctor working 20 hour shifts. So, you can do it if that is what you really want to do, but how much do you really want to. :)



penny07960
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 9 Jun 2008
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 18
Location: US - right coast

24 Jul 2008, 11:27 am

Not for me! In restaurant work (especially high-volume, like here in the NY area) you have to be ‘robust’ and roll with the punches (recover quickly from set-backs, etc). I tend to get very upset and that just starts a cascade of additional problems.

You are in the middle of taking one order, and someone at a different table butts in to make a request, meanwhile your order is stalled as someone wants to know what kind of oil they use in item X… ahhh!

I want a well-defined, largely static environment with a minimum of personal (personal = nondeterministic) interactions.

If I had to work in a restaurant I would be much happier as a dishwasher or an accountant than as a chef or waitress.

You should walk thro a typical day (your Mom might be able to give you minute-by-minute description of what such a day is like) to decide if it is right for you.



Averick
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Mar 2007
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,709
Location: My tower upon the crag. Yes, mwahahaha!

24 Jul 2008, 12:29 pm

Yes, it's very possible. But I must warn you against the kind of co-employee trash that those establishment attracts and how those peoples will jade you against living life.

You can make fair money, but stay away from the scene there.



AnonymousAnonymous
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 72,104
Location: Portland, Oregon

24 Jul 2008, 1:00 pm

I am considering waiting tables myself
at an isolated restaurant by my house.

Just try it out & see how much you like it. :wink:


_________________
Silly NTs, I have Aspergers, and having Aspergers is gr-r-reat!


Greentea
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Jun 2007
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,745
Location: Middle East

24 Jul 2008, 2:44 pm

I've done a few jobs in my life. None were as horrendously suited for me as an Aspie as waitressing. It requires all the ingredientes that are hell for Aspies: multi-tasking, fine and gross motor skills, empathy, socializing, faking, shallow focus, etc. etc. I was a very bad waitress however hard I tried. And I hated it so much I felt like dying.


_________________
So-called white lies are like fake jewelry. Adorn yourself with them if you must, but expect to look cheap to a connoisseur.


pineapple
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Apr 2006
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 573
Location: california

24 Jul 2008, 7:13 pm

I know it wouldn't be good for me, and it seems like some typical aspie traits could give you trouble in the job. But we're all different as to what we can handle. Also, a laid-back cafe would be different than a really crowded, trendy restaurant. If someone magically offered me a restaurant job, I might take it, but I wouldn't seek one out.



barcncpt44
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 17 Apr 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 80
Location: Anniston, AL

25 Jul 2008, 2:14 pm

:twisted: I did this at a resort and I just was stressed out because of the fast pace, i would not recommend it.


_________________
Visit my blog: www.geekalabama.com
A bland smile is like a green light at an intersection, it feels good when you get one, but you forget it the moment you're past it. -Doug Coupland


Jael
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jul 2008
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 158

25 Jul 2008, 7:25 pm

This would be my nightmare job because:

1. I am clumsy and uncoordinated
2. Restaurants are often loud and busy
3. There are too many people around
4. The physical pace is too fast
5. You have to remember verbal requests and instructions
6. Your compensation level (tips) depends on being able to "bond" with the customers
7. You have to deal with a lot of different tables at once

I would truly be the worst server EVER! 8O



michel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Aug 2007
Age: 54
Gender: Male
Posts: 735
Location: Ecuador

25 Jul 2008, 7:30 pm

Well, I work as a bartender, and it's like I become another person, more confident and outgoing, and I just imitate what I see the other guys doing. The money can be good, and I do need to develop my social skills...



skysaw
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Mar 2008
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 645
Location: England

29 Jul 2008, 11:53 am

Temple Grandin wrote an article about good / bad jobs for people with autism / AS, and she put being a waiter / waitress in the bad section.

See here --> http://www.autism.com/individuals/jobs.htm (and if anyone is offended by the 'Deafeat Autism Now' logo in the top right, it's not my doing!)

I can understand why. I worked as a waiter for a very short while, and found it very difficult. It's not so much the social aspect as the short-term memory / multitasking aspect.

I've also worked as a silver service waiter a few times. That was less difficult since I didn't need to take any orders. I was a bit nervous at first about picking up the plates properly. My co-ordination isn't great, but it could be worse.



patternist
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jul 2008
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,606
Location: at my computer

29 Jul 2008, 9:17 pm

I spilled a tray of drinks on a major football quarterback hero once. Yes, I was fired.
If you can avoid setbacks like that, I see no problem with it.
I learned a lot of my working skills and social skills waiting tables. I believe in the long run it was good for me. But I cannot believe any restaurant let me work there past the probation period. I was always doing things that were not in the rulebook, like forgetting to put orders in and bringing them free ("snatched") desserts. Do it if you want to thicken your skin. And literally too, with burns.

And what Averick said? All true.
But as for me I let my natural inclination away from bonding protect me from such things.



tomboy4good
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Apr 2008
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,379
Location: Irritating people everywhere

31 Jul 2008, 3:19 pm

Used to work in a deli. But it was behind the counter, not serving people at tables. Too uncoordinated & too many sensory issues for that line of work. That said however, I'm sure there are some Aspies who could do it if they desired. It just wasn't for me...that & my boss was a complete jerk.


_________________
If I do something right, no one remembers. If I do something
wrong, no one forgets.

Aspie Score: 173/200, NT score 31/200: very likely an Aspie
5/18/11: New Aspie test: 72/72
DX: Anxiety plus ADHD/Aspergers: inconclusive