the shame of unemployment

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Ever since I was a senior in high school I worked part time.
But when I went to graduate school I quite the part time job I had so I focus more on doing things related to my studies and volunteer work that was related. I hadn't been able to get an assistantship that first year of grad school. Prior to entering grad school my health was poor. I have narcolepsy in addition to my AS and some other issues and I wasn't diagnosed until shortly before then. It was a few months before entering school I started a new treatment and about six months after I started I felt the full effects-- it was amazing-- I could think deep thoughts again. I completed my first year and obtained a masters in my field and am now working on another degree in that field and will be in grad school a couple more years. I had a high GPA. I volunteer in my field (librarian). I had field experience and got great reviews. I think I'm good at this stuff. But due to health problems and so forth I sort of have a gap of experience. Prior to grad school I didn't do much at all for a few years. I worked part time and I went to school. And I was sick. But now that I am healthy i do so much more. Yet I am in a highly competitive program for my field and the assistantships and other job opportunities are limited. I love this stuff-- I feel I have found my calling. But I can apply for forty or fifty things and maybe get two or three interviews and then I'm happy to just get a temp thing remotely related for a couple of months. At this rate I'm getting depressed and ashamed to be honest.

I'm place bound in the town where I am now (my husband has a good job here), so I need to be able to find a job here eventually. But not being able to find work now doesn't help. My student loans are now almost equal to our mortgage. I could really use some sort of income here as well. Plus I like to work. I go to the job center and have cover letters and resumes critiqued and ask permission before I list people as references. But I still so rarely even get interviews. I just don't understand. Its gotten to the point where I am starting to not apply to some jobs because I just can't handle it anymore-- it gets too depression and I really am a positive person and I that can be difficult at times in this area where in this field I feel it can be rather cutthroat. I figure after I finish with what I am doing now after a certain amount of time I might see about entering a PhD program if I can't get a job since I want to do that eventually and in a PhD program I would at least be guarranteed to be a TA.

But what should I do now? Should I ask an advisor or two to look at my resume and give me advice? Almost all program grads get jobs, but most people move. I live here. I just hate not working and doing something related to what I love. And I also feel so shameful, like there is something so basically wrong with me that I can't get a job. I feel like I meet all this obvious criteria, yet there is something missing and I don't know what it is.

Hi --

I think you're the same person I responded to in another thread, about library work.

I think you are just a short distance from success. First you need to bring your spirits up so you present well and have the energy to take the next step.

Then you need to seek out a mentor. Librarians are usually friendly and helpful people. You should talk to some. Maybe you could take a visit to the next town and approach some of the librarians, if you feel the ones in your town might find you direct competition. Put your self concerns aside and study up on the lastest topics in the librarianship field.

You need to have a realistic idea of what the chances are for any librarian getting hired within your geographic area, and then you do your damnedest to make yourself that next one. The boomers are retiring, so many areas are crying out for people to take the lead in the future, and you have the background for that.

You have the knowledge, you have a husband to support you, and you have the passion. Make that passion work for you. Learn how to express it. When I wanted to get hired by a library (for an education program, not as a librarian) I let them know how I feel about libraries and what they mean to me. I got the job, even though it was a phone interview and in another province -- they didn't even see my face. Just thinking about it gives me a buzz, because I love libraries. If you can be enthusiastic and remember why you got into th is in the first place, I believe you can succeed.

>I love this stuff-- I feel I have found my calling. But I can apply for forty or fifty things and maybe get two or three interviews and then I'm happy to just get a temp thing remotely related for a couple of months. At this rate I'm getting depressed and ashamed to be honest.

You deserve better than your current situation. So pick yourself up and kick some butt. And be kind to yourself.

Know you are not alone in being in this situation.

I am also an Aspie, with a Master degree and no work experience, living off of social security and a housing vaucher.

I have attempted the Ph.D. route, and did not sucess at it, causing more shame.

I have been to this place you are talking about. Not a pleasent place.

All I can say-I empathize with you. And, I feel your pain.

I know what it is like-personally.