making it in the "real world" at 23

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I wasn't sure where to post this, since none of the categories really fits this.

Some background information: I'm 23 years old and looking to move out of my parents' house soon. I planned on doing this much sooner, but major health issues have forced me to stay longer than intended.

In terms of finances, I have the money for a downpayment on an inexpensive house, a decent-paying job, and I know how to budget.

The problem: I have no clue how to manage the every-day practicalities of independent life. Sure, I know how to do my own laundry, cook, and wash dishes--I've been doing those things since I was eleven years old. What I don't know how to manage are things like paying bills, credit cards, how to actually go about buying a house, and so on.

I've read several of those "life-guide" books, none of which proved to be all that useful or comprehensive, since they seem to leave of major details that would leave me in the dark when I'm actually out there on my own. Example: The books fail to mention that, when buying a house for the first time, having low or no credit can be a major impediment to getting a loan.

I really don't want to be dependent on my parents for answering all these questions for me. With my health problems and limited social interactions, it's been difficult enough proving myself to be sufficiently independent to live by myself.

My question is this: How does one successfully maneuver the Real World when all previous experience has depended upon the support and input of parents? As a fellow aspie, I assume I am not alone in this particular dilemma.

I realize my question would be easier to answer if I could isolate specific problems, but I thought I'd pose it anyway. These sort of questions are bound to come out repeatedly once I'm actually in the Real World.

Any input is greatly appreciated!

Before I moved out, my mother had to help me figure out my budget.


I never understood how some people have troubles paying the bills. I mean you can keep forgetting to pay them yeah because I do that too and then I finally do it before it's due. Maybe you can explain that?


There is still nothing wrong with getting help from your parents. That is what they are for. They are supposed to help their kids, even NTs need help with things too when they are young and do you think my mother understood all this stuff when she was young? No way she did. She said it took her a while. I lived up the road from them when I first moved out. They didn't want me to live far away because what if I needed them for something, then they would have a long drive to do or might not be able to come so I was up the road from them, less than a mile.

I don't understand housing payments either or how it works when you buy one because I have never done it. I heard parents usually help their kids buy their first house. My grandparents sure did with my parents. They got a house and my grandparents put some money down too on it.

When my uncle got his first house, my parents helped him get it by putting down some down payment. Then my uncle started to earn more money with his career and was able to pay for the house on his own and paid it all off. I think his house is already paid for too. Homes are not that expensive in Yakima, WA. And he was in his early thirties then when he got his first house.

I don't even use credit cards so I have none. I don't like to be in debt and I know interest adds up so you actually end up paying more for the item you got.

In fact I heard lot of people have troubles understanding money. Maybe that's why lot of them end up in debt or make these silly mistakes when they borrow from the bank.

I would suggest renting a place when you first move out rather than buying. Especially if you're afraid you can't keep track of the bills. Another reason is your health issues. You didn't say, but if the possibility exists that you might be paying for some of this out of pocket, you should consider renting.

You should be able to find some information on setting a budget online. Last I remember, you shouldn't be spending more than 28% of your gross income on housing.

I would strongly recommend setting up a calendar (either paper or computerized) to keep track of paying bills and other recurring tasks. You can set one up before you move out and put a recurring task on there (crossing off the day, etc) and see if you can keep up with just checking it. If you have to - put a task on there to buy a new calendar a month before your current one runs out.

Your lucky..there could be people out there that may not even make it into the real world till their at least 30, they'd be really LUCKY to live on their own at the age of 23...even though they probably couldn't...

I've read this stuff soo I know, not that you ca beleve everything you read and all.... No i'm not as niave as I may seem, hanging in the 'kiddy' section and all. Now i'm tired, i'm going to bed...I will read this whole topic in the morning.

Just saying: Some people may be lucky to live on their own at age 30. You never know what the fuure may bring, man...and humans are still evolving, like all living beings are...

The weirder the human, the more new dna we may have that can be used to create all new types of humans.

Life is epic...soo are video games...soo is courage...soo is not really giving a damn about the future.....

A lot of bills you can set up to automatically deduct from your checking account. I do that as much as possible since I almost always have enough, but I never actually remember to do it.

Put reminders on your calendar/computer for when you need to pay the bills, when you should do laundry, even when to take the garbage out if you need to. These things slip my mind when I'm otherwise occupied, so having reminders all around me can help a lot.

You may be glad you waited until you were a little older before moving out on your own. I moved out for the first time when I was 18 and I was not ready. At all. I needed more time to grow up.

Its not hard. Talk to people who are experts in their areas and they'll tell you what its about... You just have get out and experience independent living. I think you are over analyzing the situation .