Advice at a new job

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I am starting my first "real" permanent job in about 2 weeks and as it gets closer I'm getting more nervous about it. I'm just afraid that I won't fit in as I should. I have had similar jobs before but I've always known that it was temporary so I didn't worry about things.

So does anyone have some general advice about starting out in a new job with strangers?

It's an engineering job where the team will most likely be all or almost all male and I'm female.

My advice would be as follows

1. Be careful who you tell about your AS
2. At break times pay attention to what the others are saying, then choose what you should say and to who.

Chances are they will have AS just as much if not more than you do. Make sure you pay attention and really listen to what they say. Work your butt off. Be sure to always come in a little early and stay late if needed. 90% of success is just showing up and getting the job done. Take every opportunity to learn new things as they come along.

I wish you luck. Take one day at a time.

The best you can do is to deal with problems as they come. No amount of preparation can totally remove all problems you're going to encounter at the workplace... that's the school of hard knocks! Just remember... when you're feeling miserable, you're probably doing considerably better than you think you are; when you're feeling awesome and great, you're probably not the hot shot you think you are. Work and everywhere else are always going to be like that, sorry to say.

And this job is not going to be perfect so try not to have the expectation that things will be or should be. It'll probably be only the first of several or many permanent jobs you'll have in your lifetime so try not to stress too much about it. Perhaps try to focus simply on what you can learn from your experience with this job, so that you have something to take with you when you do eventually move on. In that sense it's not unlike school.

Good luck with your new job!!

in a male dominated engineer environment, it's possible you won't be the only aspie there and in fact you may be the subject of some 'romantic' interest.

generally, i found there's an unspoken rule that you have to accept the first group social invitation you get, even though the invitation may be expressed in very offhand manner, it's important to accept, just to seem 'sociable'. you don't have to attend every social event, however.

Thanks for the advice everyone

The best advice I can give you is to be yourself. Co-workers will hate you or like you for their own reasons, and as I have found out, there is very little you can do to change their minds. Also, trying to create a list of things to do or say will only cause confusion in situations you didn't plan for, and will cause you far more headaches.

Well I start tomorrow. Right now I have about 15 emotions at once, but mostly I'm scared and apprehensive. I can't help but think that it won't go well and I'll be searching for a job again within a year.

I am afraid that I'm not adequately prepared for the job and I will end up having to move to the business side of the company.

If its a bunch of male, geeky, Aspie engineers they are probably more nervous about this than you are. The reality won't be anything like what you think it will be. I am sure everything will be fine.

I think it is difficult to give advice without knowing you.

I was (am?) extremely outspoken without knowing or understanding the rule of interaction with a company. So I talked in detail about my sexual preferences, the history of coinage regulation in Germany prior the French Revolution or other issues within the office and I got very quickly the label of an "odd" or even slightly mad person ("over the top"). A very few colleagues could handle this well, the most not. At least I learned in the meanwhile better to keep the mouth closed, before I say the wrong thing in the wrong situation.

Other aspies, I know, have with their silence less difficulties than I had and just been seen as shy.

Well it has gone better than I expected. Most of my team is young (in their 20's) so I don't feel so out of place even though I am pretty much one of less than 5 women in the block of about 70+ cubes. The older man that has been teaching me has been very good about stepping things down to basics so that I understand but not make me feel like I'm stupid.

It's a little crazy though. Being at a defense contractor, we're working on classified info so pretty much every internet site is blocked to prevent reverse attacks, including all email sites and all forums (so wrong planet is included). There's all kinds of security software on the computer so that if I were to plug in an iPod that isn't approved by security they instantly find out and I could lose my job

The plus side of that is it is all US citizens so everyone is a native english speaker.