I have a problem at work...

Post Reply New Topic

Well, I have many, but this one is particularly annoying. I work for a small company, and the secretary, who really is a lovely woman, is extremely talkative. She has always been very nice to me, but one day she started complaining about the things that she didn't like at our workplace.

As usual, I wasn't really interested, but I'm terrible at ending conversations that I don't want to be in, or need to end because I'm too busy, which is very often. Now it's escalated to the point where, over the course of a day, she can waste an hour or two of my time by rambling, about anything and everything. It's hard enough managing my time without constant interruptions, and I already get plenty of those from my bosses.

I really need some advice on how to handle this, as I know I will come off terribly rude if I try to tell her to stop talking.

Oh dear, that is perhaps a very difficult problem indeed. I often do not appear to have a problem with individuals speaking with me a large amount, perhaps due to the fact that I am not very skilled at conversation. ^^ Perhaps the only happy little advice that I may provide is to directly, yet politely inform the happy lady that you would wish to concentrate very hard on your work as you are very worried and perhaps that if you have time at a later time, you may speak with her then. ^^ That means if she does wish to speak afterward, you may have already completed your nice workies. I am sorry if this if of little help.

Never, ever, never never ever never... say "stop talking" to someone.

Instead, try to explain your point of view for her that you are totally unintrested in chitchatting because you are/could be (depending on if you have a diagnosis or not) autistic.

If she cannot understand your point of view, then maby you could bring it up with management and say that you cannot get work done and she waste one hour every day of your work-time because you cannot concentrate. That should get their attention.

I suggest, politely saying: "X, I'm sorry, I really need a couple moments to finish this project. How about we talk at lunch time/during break/after work." If she comes back in before you are done say "I'm sorry, I'm not quite done with this, how about we talk at lunch/break, I should be finished with this by then." Most of the time the other person forgets whatever it was, or it loses it's importance by then and you won't really have to talk to them about it after all.

Sometimes that actually does work. Then sometimes you accidentally make some off-the-cuff sarcastic remark about 'Zena The Warrior Princess' and get to listen to the world's most rabid fan tell you the story arc of the entire series from episode one until the final credits rolled at the end of the series, including every major and all supporting characters and their relationships to each other with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each one was...

Obsessive interest on a single topic...failure to notice subtle social signals that the other party doesn't share that interest...
hmmm...these behaviors seem...familiar somehow...

And if that doesn't work, pepper spray is quite effective.

Thanks for the replies!

I've done this more than I care to remember. At first I would just say "stop talking," but realized that upset people for some reason, so for a while I would say "Please stop talking," because I figured it was more polite. It usually got a chuckle out of anyone standing around, but not the person it was directed at. As for telling the management, that's what it may come to, my only concern is that she handles a LOT of the mundane tasks around the office, and from what I've read about office politics, it's usually not good to anger people who are helpful to you. This may be my only recourse though.



This is exactly what I'd *like* to do, but whenever I've tried it's usually a few failed attempts to interject and then the afformentioned "Please stop talking." I don't know, I'll give it a shot. Maybe I'll practice what I want to say a few times.



Oooh, that's a good one! I was considering not showering for a while, but I like this better.

This is manipulative but -- if you could get one of your bosses (depending on how friendly they are to the staff) to come over when she is chitchatting to you and tell *you* to get back to work, she may tail off a little bit because she doesn't want to get you into trouble. That may get you out of politics too, everyone saves face. Really, the boss is going to get upset if he finds your work suffering, and he certainly isn't going to yell at her, it will be you. Or alternatively, get a friend/other coworker you trust to "rescue" you by coming over to get you for some reason or other.

Other ways to get out of a conversation are to look at your watch - several times - obviously and in an exaggerated manner. I tend to say "well, I had better let YOU get back to work now" when I want to get out of a conversation.

If it is any comfort, I do know how annoying a chatty kathy can be - I transcribe so I have to listen very closely so I don't make mistakes. Having the secretaries talking about inane things loudly behind me is more than upsetting (personally, I don't care who won the hockey game, or that it has started to rain, nor do I care if they have repainted the marks on the parking stalls - somehow, it is just not that interesting ). I have most of the staff semi-trained to leave me alone - actually, the rule is to leave the transcriptionist alone anyway, although I don't quite know how to enforce it. I wish I had my own office just so I could close the door ... ah, dare to dream...