Do you blame your AS for not having a career?

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I do it frequently, when it suits me. Once I was interrogated by the police for verbally harassing a woman as well as having been spreading lies about many people through my blog, I blamed AS and they dropped the case.

When it comes to not being able to handle school and being too lazy and narcissistic to get myself a normal job, I also blame AS. It feels good to blame AS even though it's only a half truth that my problems are all because of it.

In general, I find AS extremely convenient. Sometimes I even use it to get rid of people I don't want to talk to, "oh btw, I have AS" is all it takes to get people to distance themselves.

Be honest now please, I know quite a few aspies blame their resentment and aggressive behaviour towards society on AS and try to escape responsibility.

I know I've missed out on many jobs because of my attitude. Only since I've learnt about AS I realise that. I should've agreed with all the BS, laughed at the stupid jokes and smiled when he said, "do you want the job". The last job interview I had I knew how they think so I put on the act. He seemed to really like me and was rubbing his hands together because I was over qualified for the job (and I don't think he was going to pay me enough), at the end of the interview he walked me back to my car, bla bla then good bye, I turned around, opened my car door and he suddenly said, "Do you want the job?" I said, "Yep" and then he look really disappointed. He caught me off guard, I had stopped acting and I didn't get the job.

Wow! I can't believe they dropped the case. If I ever run into trouble with any cops because of my AS and try to defend my AS as the case...the cops in America would most likely A) Be confused as heck because they probably never heard of AS or B) Accuse me of being full of s**t and say I'm faking it.


As for AS interfering with me finding a job...uh...f**k yeah! I say a good percentage of the blame though should go to my completely tarnished self-esteem from my Catholic School experience but since AS played a role in all of that too without me realizing it then I guess it is all AS. AS, poor self-esteem, and lack of knowledge of how the work world works all contribute to being unemployed...mostly.

I will say that my AS will undoubtingly prevent me from my dreams of becoming a TV director/writer despite the fact that my teachers did say I had talent after seeing some of my course videos. A lot of people were unwilling to give me a chance to help out in video productions outside of classes mainly cause they disliked me or just didn't trust my ability to get along with them and that hurt my ability to gain experience quite a bit. I did kinda screwed myself over though by not pursuing an actual internship while I was still in school but I doubt I would've qualified for any of the Hollywood internships anyway. And mostly that Hollywood itself is all about personal connections no matter which department you're in. So "connections" alone means I'm totally screwed. Hey it aint my fault all of this unimaginative film artists cant handle my style!


Pobody's_Nerfect: my god, that's a terrible thing that happened to you...that's almost like an insulting cruel joke the way he rejected you because of one missed social cue while getting to your car! But seeing that most employment is tested with social cues...it seems most of us aspies were gonna be screwed when we became adults anyway.

Last edited by raisedbyignorance on 25 May 2009, 11:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Somewhat but it's mostly because of my learning disability.

i blame AS for having suitable career in research. i don't think i would be able to dedicate to it so much if i was more social and outgoing...
and in academia they are used to having strange people around. they all are

It's an unusual person who can shine such a harsh spotlight on their own behavior. Most people can't stand the glare. You've got guts dropping your armor and exposing yourself like that. I think one of the best things about this site is that the quality of people here is such that nobody is stabbing you for it.

To answer your question, I never use it since using it means telling people about it and I won't do that. Plus I came to this much later in life; all my coping mechanisms are in place and I can function well enough to be a productive member of society.

I have a counter-question for you: You know that you do this and you seem "in tune" with yourself. Do you feel you will change your core behavior of using the AS excuse? Or are you satisfied with the results you are receiving by employing this strategy?

Interesting post.

I'm not convinced you have AS, you seem more sociopathic to me. Even just the way you talk about how you use the dx to manipulate people...

I'm not a liar, I don't have a lot of resentment and the last thing I am is aggressive. You are conflating your other dx'es into AS here, those things are not necessarily characteristics of AS.

Oops, looks like I spoke too soon about that whole "...nobody is stabbing you for it".
I hope my comment didn't bring about the name calling. You're not a sociopath, by the way, nor do you have to convince anyone on this entire forum that you have AS.

An interesting question.

Now that I know about AS, I do "blame" AS for many of my problems in life. However, I see what I'm doing as identifying the cause for many of the bad things that have happened to me. So, in a sense, AS is to blame for why so much has happened.

However, I don't think I use AS as an excuse for what happens now. I know AS may predispose me to do certain things, and I might still do them in spite of efforts to conform to more "normal" standards.

I fully expect that AS will be a barrier in getting a good career...ever. I fully expect that AS will be a barrier in having "normal" relationships...likely for the rest of my life. I do disclose my AS in situations where I think letting people know up front will help smooth the path and help deal with the inevitable rough patches. However, accepting the obstacles AS creates in my life is just dealing with the facts of my situation. I don't think I'm justifying failure in advance.

The OP started a thread on the subject of his multiple dx'es when he joined. He admits to being a narcissist. I don't see any reason not to query his claims. The only thing that strikes me as autistic about him is the guileless honesty with which he admits stuff, but in part that's probably a kind of pride. The actual things he does aren't necessarily characteristic of autism. Why play the victim card on his behalf?

you sound like an NT malingerer to me. sorry.
i do not identify with you at all.

The results give me an excuse to survive. In a way I'm happy because even though I use AS to ward myself from the world, doing so also made me realize many things about myself. Every social situation is like the business card scene from American Psycho to me, with the difference that I can't contain my anger and frustration. I use AS to escape those everyday traumas, so in a way it makes me feel more harmonious.
All my life I felt this crippling jealousy, ambition, hatred and at the same time I was lazy in school. Most of my social interaction bored me or turned into minor wars. I've always been shutting myself out due to my antisocial behaviour and aggressiveness and the complete distance I have to other people. Using AS as an excuse takes some of the stress away. However, since I've been reading body language and actively communicating with people who didn't even suspect I had AS, most of my life, I don't really believe AS is the sole reason.

In the end, I don't get enough results from using my AS as an excuse to be perfectly satisfied, but it helps a little. Both socially/economically and existentially.

Like a lot of people here, I had exactly the same problems for years and years before I ever heard of Asperger's.

Blame is not an appropriate word. It's just an explanation that fits the facts.

_________________

even when i had no Dx/explanation of pattern -of-my-person type, it has been a perpetual fact that I experienced exclusion (by 1 or more) in about 98% of my work environments to date. Not being a wispy human, my personal sense of inner strength and a lot of energy used collecting , memorising and retrieving quickly when needed evidence to retort back in the work chit-chat-bitch episodes -has definitely helped to buffer me and allowed me to uphold my social right to be in that work group. Not wasting my own life and personal energy has become the priorty now. Plus i want to be happy ie have well-being. As opposed to having a job, status and money. I've always relied on my own sensibilities rather than 'should do this or that'. I think i will carry on. Knowing I have As
takes the weight off finding explanations that NTs can understand. Now all the new research and understandings of the human brain and complex entanglements that are involved in human development means that the onus is on everyone to know who they are so that we can live and work with these new understanding for self and others. Cheers for now

I make it a point to try hard not to shred my elders even when they are behaving badly. Suffice to say that if you don't want the victim card played, then don't make someone a victim. This isn't about conflating dx'es or who you judge has AS. This is about name calling.

I would also ask that, if your idea of "non-aggressively querying someone's claims" involves insinuating that they are a liar and a sociopath, that you not "query" me. I'm the sort who reports your violation of rule #2 Personal Attacks (in this instance insinuating and direct) and has your posts pulled. If Zoonic's other threads have offended you and have broken the rules, this option is available to you as well.

Irony: Long before this post on May 6th, Zoonic's words were "People who just learn about my negative sides assume I'm borderlinish or a sociopath, not AS."

I think AS is more a barrier to progress in a career for most jobs, than a complete barrier altogether. IE, you can be a successful construction worker, but you might never be a foreman (the crew "manager"). Or you can be an accountant, but will never be promoted to manager or CEO. Any type of management jobs I think AS is a huge barrier to, just because once you know how to do the technical work well it's pure social skills.