I completely understand what you all have said especially you kim, lol. If J's school tell me he has been fine and he's had a good day, straight way I think what have they missed.
The school system really need to start listening, they are making us all understandably paranoid. (well me anyway)
I'm in australia so its school holiday time right now. Towards the end of school ie, late december J was a mess. Looking back now he was having meltdown after melt down. However at the start of last week I started to wonder if maybe they(docs) had made a mistake with his dx. Then I took J and another boy a few years older than J to the zoo, nope no mistake. I did the whole trip thru the other kids eyes this time. If that makes sense. I had just come to accept J and all his quirks It was an eye opener to relise not everyone else is as accepting. J would only stop to look at what he wanted to see, he kept wondering off, he tried to educate everyone else around any enclosure he was looking at, he told people to move and then would shove past them (not caring what size they were or giving them time to respond). He complained about the sunlight, he covered his ears when a speaker went off, the list goes on. Normally I wouldn't notice this stuff to much, just deal with it and move on. This time I did. Yep my kid is different. My first instinct was to feel sad, then I realised he wasn't sad. I am trying to save my sadness for if and when it's needed and trying to just enjoy the happy and the ok moments. It is hard tho.