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Veteran
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Joined: 23 Sep 2005
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Location: new england

22 Jan 2008, 3:07 pm

my son likes to be hugged only if he initiates the contact.



kclark
Deinonychus
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Location: NE Illinois

23 Jan 2008, 1:02 pm

Apatura wrote:
I find it painful to hug my parents and hated doing it as a kid. I dread seeing them today in large part because of the expected hug.

My HFA son will hug me (and only me), but his "hug" consists of touching my shoulders at arm's length. He does this a lot, though. "Want a hug?" and he touches my shoulders while standing a couple feet away. I think it's sweet.


I find hugging pretty uncomfortable. I am ok with a quick strong squeeze for about 1-2 seconds if I am ready for it.
I have done the hands on shoulders hug thing many times. I sneak up behind my mom when she is on the computer and "hug" her like that, sometimes I kiss the top of her head.

I only really hug my mom and my sister occasionally. Other people wanting hugs makes me stiffen up and get really awkward.



Merriweather18
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Location: Brevard County, Florida

23 Jan 2008, 1:26 pm

My little Aspie is very affectionate, and frequently asks to "hug our family." My husband and I each pick up a kid and we have a group hug. He also asks me for hugs and kisses (he tells me how many kisses, and we count) and then proceeds to bang his little face against mine - he's an overzealous kisser. :lol:
I have noticed, however, that when other people, even his grandparents, request a hug, he will frequently hug them backwards, by pressing his back against their chests.



galileosstar
Tufted Titmouse
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23 Jan 2008, 9:57 pm

My son gives me hugs... depending on the day he might just lean into me not using his arms but that is not too often. With other family members he is close with he will offer his head... he will lean in and put his head on their shoulder but he will keep his body far back from them.
If he doesn't want to give other family members hugs then he doesnt and I will not make him. I will just tell the family member that he isn't up to it and not to push him for a hug.



Monica120969
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26 Jan 2008, 1:58 pm

I love to give hugs and kisses to my children and tell them how much I love them. My oldest one is AS and at the very beginning it made me sad that he didn't seem to enjoy my hugs. Now I have learned to hug him very lightly, almost without touching him and kissing him on the cheek very lightly too and he likes that and actually asks for it every night at bedtime. He also hugs me in his very particular way, with his head turned in an awkward way to one side or takes my arm and hugs just my arm very tightly to his chest. I understand now that this is the way he feels comfortable about it, so I enjoy it as it is and am extremely happy when he volunteers to do it without me asking for it. He also says he loves me but sometimes he says it so often that I am not sure if he actually understands exactly what he is saying, but I like it and enjoy it and always answer back that I love him too. I guess you just have to find which kind of hug your child is comfortable with and encourage it and enjoy it.



Jennyfoo
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26 Jan 2008, 4:34 pm

My 9 y/o AS DD likes hugs and will hug us, but only when she initiates it. She will sometimes initiate cuddling with me on the sofa too. She hates unwanted affection, yet she can be very clingy and huggy with her younger siblings to the point of smothering them sometimes too. She seems to have a hard time understanding appropriate affection and when to back off. My 5 y/o MMR(mildly mentally ret*d) son has sensory issues and is VERY huggy and affectionate- almost too much, can make his AS mama uncomfortable at times. LOL! He loves to stroke hair too. He is a little overbearingly affectionate with school friends too which concerns me- hugging them when it's pretty clear they don't want a hug, and he kisses them on their cheeks too. LOL! It's cute, but they do shy away from him. Hopefully he'll learn more appropriate affection boundaries in time.