Inappropriate Comments?

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The school is finally testing my teenager and has sent home a questionnaire for me to fill out. It is the GARS-2 (Gilliam Autism Rating Scale - Second Edition). Included in this questionnaire - and in a lot of the reading I've been doing about the Spectrum - are questions asking if the child makes "inappropriate comments." What exactly does this mean? Repeating things from television, movies, etc., is something completely different, correct? I don't think it has to do with the noisemaking either. I'm just not sure what it means, really. Sometimes, I think he has no "filter," and that could be it - but I don't want to answer "YES" if it means something else.

The questionnaire seems tailored to younger kids (my son is 15) and some of the questions are asking me to remember things from before he was 3 years old. I just don't want to blow this and have him not get the accomodations that could help him succeed in high school.

Also - do executive function problems show up on testing like this? He definitely has issues there and the few accomodations I'd like him to have are related to executive functioning.

My son has a doctor's appointment for an evaluation in a couple of weeks, but the school testing and meeting are scheduled for next week. I really wanted to have this independent evaluation in my pocket before the school meeting, but it's not to be - unless, of course, I cancel the school meeting and reschedule it for next month.

I can't be sure but whenever I've heard "innappropriate comments" it has been referring to swear words or being offensive.


Oh and by the way, while it helps to get special accomodations, just don't drill "disabled" too deeply into your mind or that of your son.

inappropriate comments: "your hair is white...that's because you're old...(concerning gift) you can keep it

very blunt and lacking in tact but it is not intentional (this is the part that is weird).


My son who is eight was very inappropriate, but he has learned how to not say what he's thinking (he told me this). Thank goodness. He still does sometimes.

Also, some comments don't make sense and are out of context, an interruption in the conversation due to one-sidedness. This could be considered inappropriate, too.

It is a hallmark of AS/ASD and seems to be the one defining characteristic that defines their quirkiness and also ostracizes them. Best to teach them not to say whatever comes to mind rather than appeal to their empathetic nature.

equinn

Here is an example of an inappropriate comment. I actually said this to a waiter with my family at a restaurant:

"I'll have a Coke - you know...the kind you drink".

go ahead and laugh, but it was said.

It is saying something offensive and not meaning to be offensive...or something that has nothing to do with the conversation.

Here's a few that I can think of my son is 9 by the way.
He told our gp during an examination "poo your breath stinks"

He wanted to go to a classmates house he said to the class mates mother"Kyle is annoying(Kyle is this womans son, J's class mate)
"Kyle is annoying sometimes, but can I come to your house you have a cool game?"

My older son was complaining that his feet were sore after work, J stated "thats because your fat".

At our first ever school enrollment meeting J (then 4) said to the principle"b***h is a bad word yeah?".......then a little later "you shouldn't say f*&k to yeah?"

These weren't great moments.

J's evaluation was very recent, and they wanted to know all his history right back to first words, crawling, first play date etc..

good luck. hope they help

My son has made many inappropriate comments - in retrospect they're hilarious! (but acutely embarressing at the time).

About a woman with a burka "Why is she wearing a sack on her head?"
At the ONLY wedding we too him to, repeatadly, at the top of his voice "GOD IS DEAD!" We haven't taken him to church since. (I hope God has a sense o humour and has studied Nietzsche.)
Not funny, but on his first day of kindergarten he was so freaked out he shouted "f**k, f**k, f**k". I think everybody was thinking he had Tourette's!

Sorry if anyone finds them offensive...

Wouldn't inappropriate comments also mean to just read the situation wrong and talk about something off the wall? A lot of the time yes it is the randomness or bluntness, but others it's just you seeing a connection where others don't or making your own connection to talk about what you want.

Well, he does both. LOL I know he doesn't mean to hurt peoples' feelings, but he just does sometimes.

Many times, the inappropriate comments are the blurting out of a quote from a movie, book, tv show, video game, etc. If the pople hearing it aren't familiar with the source, it can just sound like an inappropriate comment - especially when it's of a "dark" nature.

I'm not focusing on the "disability" aspect. It's more like a "difference." Everyone has their strong suits and weaknesses. While some kids use tutoring as the extra help they need, other kids may need different tools.

I'll have a Coke - you know...the kind you drink".

You should have said "some coke" --now this would have been funny.


If we're doing profanity--oh, yes. My son is notorious for that. I hate that teacher--she's a son of a b---ch. Or, today, nice boys selling chocolate kiss roses for their school outside walmart, explained how it was for drug-free organization. My son didn't hear a word. As I took the roses and handed over the money, he asked "What's this for?" They explained, he looked away, pondering but not really getting it, and then added "I know lots of drunks" with a big smile.

They thought this was hilarious.

The time I was in Wal Mart with my four year old and she said, quite loud, "MOMMY! Why is that lady's belly so big!?" When I looked over my shoulder, expecting to see a pregnant woman, I was horrified to discover my child had just made that comment about a woman with a weight problem.

That's what they mean. Autistic children often have great difficulty understanding what is and is not appropriate to say at a given time. It's not intentional, they just don't understand as readily as others.

I see the dilemma. My 8 year old is obsessed with words like "fart", "poop", "butt". Are they inappropriate comments? Sure, but every other 8 year old uses them too.

>>"MOMMY! Why is that lady's belly so big!?"

I did that

I actually said it to the woman herself - twice because they tried to explain that not all people are the same size. The second one was "I know, but you're reaallllly fat"

Wasn't trying to be mean or inconsiderate, just pointing out the obvious with less than zero tact.

I suppose inappropriate comment would be like saying something like:

(really loudly so the person could hear as clear as day)
"LOOK AT THAT FAT COW OVER THERE!"

The real problem is that we get it drummed into our heads to be honest and never lie, then when we are honest ("you are really fat!") we get in trouble for being honest.

We're told to ask questions when there is something we don't know/don't understand. But when we do just that ("How can you drive when you are so fat you can't fit behind the steering wheel?") we get in trouble.


Then to make it worse, while we're getting in trouble no one says, "yes that lady is so fat she couldn't drive our car, but..." Rather they get hung up on being embarassed/angry. However, we can't usually process that as a reason to stop talking, because we don't understand what the problem is being as we only stated the truth and you have told us several times to be honest. So while you're yelling "Jonathan, stop it. Thats not nice." we're asking "Why should I? She is fat, can't you see it. She's wider than our front door. I was just asking how she can drive a car. She couldn't fit in ours"