sensetivity to clothes & shoes

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My 32 month old daughter hates getting dressed. Some days are worse than other but, lately she has a screaming fit every time. I have tried letting her choose between 2 things. It dosen't seem to make a difference. She rips her clothes off as fast as I can get them on.

Shoes, socks, boots...anytype of footwear is the worst. I have to carry her around most of the time because she will not wear shoes & takes them off as soon as I can get them on.

Anybody have any advice/suggestions to make this easier for her & me?

How old is your daughter? At a certain age, you will have to try and reason with her that you wear socks to prevent blisters from shoes, and you wear shoes to prevent your feet from being hurt from things on the ground. Then you try multiple kinds of socks to see which ones she can TOLERATE.

I had one of my two sons with Aspergers who had sensitivity to touch. He did not like labels on shirts. My mother cut them out whenever she could (I did not). He wasn't overly concerned, he just spent a lot of time being bothered by them -- he would still wear the shirts. Eventually he adapted and got over these sensitivities. He was also super sensitive to grass and sand on his feet -- and he adapted to that as well. My other son had NO sensitivities. Go figure.

I wish I could be more helpful.

Kris

I see you're in Canada, way up there. Down here in more temperate climates I have let my son wear sturdy sandals without socks year round. I'd keep a pair of shoes too but until this year, never made him wear them. I didn't put shoes on him pre-walking either. He's never been too fussy about them but he prefers bare feet.
They make sandals like Tevas or the thick leather-braided kind that look like shoes.

I've always stuck with cotton clothes but he's never been too fussy either.

Both my kids have have major sensory issues with clothes, and in both cases it got better with time. Generally speaking, higher quality stuff is less itchy than discount clothes. We get almost all of their stuff from Land's End, which is the cheapest "good quality" company I've found.

I still have issues with clothing, in my fifties. My daughter is the same. I vaguely remember being miserable as a young child, but the memories are dim. My daughter, on the other hand - that I remember. She used to get her clothes off as soon as I'd put them on her.

Since we lived in a climate that would allow it, I let her run around in only her diaper as much as possible, only putting on the lightest of sun-dresses on her in summer if we had to go somewhere, or sweatpants and a t-shirt in the winter. Had to cut the stretchy band off the bottom of the sweatpants, as it was too tight on her skin. She didn't need to wear shoes until she was walking, and then I put her in sandals until she went to daycare, where they required closed-toe shoes. That problem I left to the daycare workers - never knew how it went, really, other than they said she hated her shoes. Most of the time I just let her wear socks if she needed something on her feet, otherwise.

She eventually outgrew all that and now wears army boots and goth clothes, complete with tulle underskirts (which were the bane of my existance, as a kid).

Walmart carries a line of adult undies, sorry I can't remember the brand, that are exceptionally soft. And a number of adult womens' clothes items there are also seeming to be made for us. No tags, very soft. I have a shirt at home that's made of a fabric made from bamboo that is so comfortable it's one of the very few that I can forget I'm wearing. Not sure if they've got that in the kids' section, but I bet they do. I'd check.

It's kind of something that you just get used to. My poor mother, who was extremely uptight about this sort of thing, used to just about have fits when I was little and would want to run around in only my undies. Including when company was over or when I wanted to go outside. She kind of got over it, eventually...

Moral of story: don't worry too much. Avoid elastic, avoid things that constrict, go with soft, avoid fabric softeners and laundry soaps with scents, and this, too, shall pass.

Nan is right.
The lightest of sun-dresses on her in summer
Sweatpants and a t-shirt in the winter - cut the stretchy band off the bottom of the sweatpants
Sandals only when necessary

I never liked clothes and was naked most of the time until I was 4. In the summer, I can be found wearing a loose pair of cotton shorts, carrying my shirt and sandals in my hand. Sweats and "slip on deck shoes" in the winter.

My profoundly autistic daughter is 23 years old. She never would allow us to put ANY clothes on her, when she was a child. She'd take everything off if we forced it on her. No matter what. We would want to take her with us to the store, get her dressed, and if we felt lucky we'd start driving. If we kept her entertained enough, she might even forget to take off the clothes by the time we got to the store. But as soon as we forgot long enough and looked at a product on the shelf, off went the clothes right there in the store.

Because society has such ... well, clear ... strictures against being naked in most public places, we worked REALLY, REALLY hard with her. For year, after year, after year. Eventually, because she herself wanted to go out to the store and because we managed to use that desire of hers "against" her, she was finally willing to consider the idea of keeping the clothes on in public. But as soon as she got home, all the clothes went off right there at the front door. Boom. Gone. She didn't walk 2 feet inside until that was done.

We fought and fought these things in the home. And all we've achieved in all these years is that she is willing to wear long t-shirts and... maybe... for short periods... underwear. But never more than a few hours, at most. So around the home, it's long shirts.

Eventually, we came to realize that there are so many other far more important issues we have to deal with in helping her and keeping her safe (she has grand mal seizures that break her teeth and break her bones) that we have decided to lower the priority. We have too many other important things to do than fight with her every few seconds.

If you find the magic bullet, we're listening.

By the way, a phrase an old-time mother of a profoundly autistic son (she is now in her 70's) told us "No one knows how we live." And she is right. But there it is.

Jon

jon - i don't know how it is for your daughter, but i feel my clothes every minute i'm wearing them. the least obnoxious ones really are those made from bamboo - it's some kind of synthetic rayoney stuff. it's barely there. most are considerably more obnoxious, though i've learned to bear them with age as a lot of us do. washing the holy beejeezus out of soft cotton t-shirts comes in a close second.

the constant sensation of clothing against my skin, on a day that my nerves are jangly, makes me want to rip them off as soon as i walk in the door myself. it's like when you lay in bed and can't stand having the covers touch you - you want to lash out at them to get them away. too much input, too much to deal with, and then the sensation of those things touching my skin.... i can only guess about your daughter. but if that's where she is, it's not a nice place to be. wish i could give you some advice that would make it easier for her to fit in to society. it's a hard one.

as you said, you have other matters of much greater importance. the very best of luck to you.

nan

p.s. - this may just be a total, absolute fluke, but i have noticed something odd. when my allergies (hayfever, mold, etc.) are bothering me on one of those "jangly nerve" days so that i'm feeling totally miserable, and i take an antihistamine, if i can just get into more comfortable, soft clothes i don't want to rip them ~all~ off. i don't know why, and don't know if it's related to the allergy, or maybe a sedating effect of the medication. over the counter stuff.

i have a picture of me walking around in denver, colorado, when i was two, wearing nothing but my diaper, cause no one could keep clothes on me.
i still hate shoes, i have about four different pairs of flip flops, and i have socks by the basket, but they almost never get worn.

i remember hating my sheets when i was little ( i had the little mermaid sheets) because they were itchy and only like 100 count evil cotton.

but now, i work retail, i have the beeessst sheets ever, 600 thread count soooo soft nice pima cotton(yeah i could go better but they are still higher than i can afford) ooo and i have some percale tooo!

my best suggestion.... if your child can stand being in a store.... take them to a craft store that sells fabric... have them touch fabric... until they find one that they can stand against their skin... and actually get one or two pieces of their clothes made for them... for bad touchie days.... because it isn't all fabrics that bug me.... and sometimes it isn't even the fabric, but the hem that bothers me.. the seamstress has used a plastic thread and it itches... all cotton thread is the bestest

my no touchie fabrics.... silk... wool... starched linen... acrylic... nylon... hard cotton

my love'em fabrics ..... soft cotton ... washed linen... satin.... sateen... neopreen... fleece

even if your child is non-verbal... i'll bet you will know when they like a fabric! lol

As a child I could only wear light nylon type socks, and usually refuse them at all, because of how hot my feet got.

Now my feet still get extremely hot, even when the rest of my body is freezing, but I can wear cotten or thick socks. Its been years since I last wore nylon socks and to be honest I'm a bit "afraid" to even try them on. For some reason i'm afraid theyll catch on my toenails and I won't be able to get them off. I'm really not sure why I have such a great aversion to nylon socks now though, as I don't recall them ever catching on my toenails when I was younger.

My dresser is half lands end clearance stuff. I basically only wear soft cotton, ever. Even my "dress" clothes are basically nicer versions of my soft t-shirts and pants.

Thanks for all the tips. I bought some soft cotton yoga pants for her today.
I'll try sticking to soft cotton & look forward to summer when I don't have to worry so much about the shoes.

daughter can't stand stockings of any sort. not even the ones that are like socks.....

SophiasMom: Robeez soft soled footwear was all I could get my son to wear for a while. Now he will wear other shoes. Socks we have some issues with, but the Old Navy ones are super soft without a lot of seam issues - plus they're thin (but durable) and have spandex in them so they don't get all sloppy and nasty. These items have been big stress reducers.

As for clothes, aim for loose and tag-free. I have major clothing issues, always have, so I can relate to that.

My 8 year old has horrible issues with clothes. She has other tactile/sensory issues as well, but clothes are a nightmare. We buy most of her clothes at Gymboree (now that she's grown out of Carter's) - when they have sales, they're reasonable and there's a Gymboree outlet close to us too. We still have to cut tags out of everything. She will only wear soft stretchy pants and nothing with "lettuce" or elastic edging.

Socks are awful. I buy her seamless socks - they carry them at Kohl's. They're called "comfort-toe" but I think Stride Rite carries them too. Tights?? FORGET IT! She wears footless tights with her seamless toed socks - even for ballet.

Shoe shopping with her takes hours and I can't tell you how many shoes we've paid for and she wore once only to find that they weren't soft enough. Crocs are wonderful, but she can't wear them for gym at school.

I understand there are some therapies around that will help desensitize kids with sensory issues, but I haven't found one in my area yet...

Susan