What is a good age to explain the diagnosis to my son?

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He is 8 and was diagnosed yesterday with Aspergers. When he was originally diagnosed with NLD, I tried the best I could to explain what it meant. The only reason I did so, is because my son kept on asking me why he wasn't like other kids and it broke my heart.

I tried explaining it the best way I could, but then he still got anxious as he often does even if he just gets a simple cold. His psych and I explained to him that everybody has different ways of learning and perceiving things, but it doesn't make it wrong.

So now, his new diagnosis came in and he's still asking me why he is "different" from other kids. As a mother, having the diagnosis puts me at ease because I know what's going on. But should I explain this to my son and if so, when and what should I say?! Tnx..

Now is as good a time as any.
By accident, the book "All Cat's Have Asperger's" was recommended to me - it helped explain things to my daughter, who recently turned 11.
There are some other books out there - search Amazon - you may find something else that can help explain Asperger's to your son.

thank you. i will check out that book.

all cats have aspergers is a wonderful book !......on another note, try to keep things on a positive level. emphasize the positive aspects of aspergers, rather than emphasizing the negatives

i told my son yesterday and i started it off by saying "i have good news"...i always keep things positive

My kid has Autism, not Aspergers, but I think 8 sounds like a good age. Good luck. Can you tell us how that went, I'd be curious? We haven't done the talk yet.

Our son was diagnosed when he was 9...for a year or two we explained it by saying that his brain was wired differently. Now he is very intelligent so in the last 6 months he has took it upon himself to look up Aspergers on the net and read. He came in the other day and said "Mom, did you know that Bill Gates has Aspergers?" He was truly excited.

it went great. i was very nonchalant about it, because my son tends to over analyze things and can get very upset. i just told him:

"i have good news. the doctors and i figured out you have something called aspergers. when you become interested in certain topics and want to learn as much as you can about it, that's part of aspergers. it also explains why you don't like the smell of certain things. it's nothing bad, it's just your own brains way of perceiving the world."

he was fine with it. how old is your child?

I'm no parent, but I learned when I was 7 and 8 seems a good age to me. Don't bog him down with too many details but do let him know what the situation is.

exactly. i kept it short and positive.

I haven't told my 7 year old yet.

I'm going to do it in the summer. I don't want him to suddenly get self-conscious in the middle of a school year just in case. Smaller things have thrown him out of whack for a couple of weeks at school before so it seems less risky with a few months of nice weather to digest it.

My problem is how to explain to my 10 yr old aspie son. I try to explain things to him sometimes and his famous question is WHY? or What do you mean. I apparently don't know how to explain it well enough yet. He was dx'ed 7/07 I know he knows hes different & doesn't understand why he does things off the wall sometimes. Maybe I too will look for the book "all cats" I'm soooooooo glad to have found WP

my son does the same thing. he questions EVERYTHING. i try to answer his questions as best i can in re his diagnosis, as succinctly as possible. too much information can make him anxious and paranoid that something is wrong with him. you just have to pick your words carefully, and only say what's necessary. good luck and let me know how it goes!

thanks so much for your input our sons sound simular he gets overloaded too just like my son. like you said I try to explain the best that I can and what I think he will understand in other things but when the question about where babies come from came up for the first I was able to satisfy him with a simple answer now he wants to know how the baby gets in the mommy's belly..........ugh its so hard at times. Thanks again........

i had the birds and bees talk here's what i said:

when ADULT men and women love each other, their privates come together. the man has something called sperm and the women have an egg or ova. the little spermy will swim inside the woman and if lucky, join with her egg and eventually form a baby. (he had also asked me about tampons since he found mine, so i said). now if a woman does not need her egg every month, her body sheds it and that's what tampons are for. they catch what the body sheds.

i even brought up condoms and how they are important if you don't want to get sick or have a baby. lol he had no questions after that.

I have 2 sons with Aspergers - 9 and 7. I told them after them both last year right after they were diagnosed because they already wanted to know why the other kids were so different to them.

They both joined WP and go through phases when they post all the time. It's good for them to know there's this fantastic community here.

Get your kids to join WP. There are plenty of kids here, they have their own kids forum, though my guys like the Random Discussion best.

We moved the computer from the study to the lounge room so I can monitor what they're reading and typing.

Helen