Meltdowns and tantrums -- look at it from my side...

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OK if I may say so, some of the parents on here seem (no offense intended) unbelievably confused about meltdowns and tantrums. And I guess I can understand that it can be confusing. Most people who are NT cannot seem to wrap their heads around the thought processes that make us go off the deep end.

Well let’s see if I can shed some light. First thing's first, keep in mind that "meltdowns" (outward tantrum-like or otherwise vicious outbursts) or more often in my case, "shutdowns" (inward withdrawal from surroundings) are extremely terrifying to the person who exhibits them because they are the direct result of the person getting disconnected or disoriented in respect to his world as he knows it.

I will try to diagram one of these "meltdowns" from my own viewpoint.

Let’s start by taking a look at my comfort zone. I basically lack, to some degree, the natural ability to cue from other people in order to determine my actions. So in order to not become disoriented or confused amid a group of people who are interacting comfortably with one another, I need to get a firm grasp on what's going on around me. This is usually accomplished by being aware of the possible outcomes of my actions in a given set of circumstances. Any "unknowns" (i.e. elements of a situation which I haven't yet taken into consideration) must be dealt with before anything else can be accomplished, because only when I am in complete knowledge of my surroundings can I proceed without fear.

When you suddenly change the plans, rules, environment, etc., you suddenly throw in a multitude of these "unknowns" simultaneously, which must then be simultaneously dealt with in order to maintain composure. I say "simultaneously" because it is often necessary to instantly make an appropriate response in order to avoid causing drama, which means the window for processing is very short -- often 2 seconds or less. At some point my mind becomes overloaded with details and goes into what amounts to a short-circuit or, in the sense of a computer, a "freeze-up." At this point I will "shut down," or basically cease to interact. I know I can no longer cope with my surroundings so I tune them out, figuring that any further reaction to them will be an incorrect or inappropriate one.

Now at this point one of three things will happen: either 1) I will process the new information within 5 or 6 seconds, respond as best I can, and use one of my scripts to save face; 2) if I cannot snap out of it within a few seconds, the other people will become disinterested and leave me be (in which case I will process the new scenario, recover, and try to rejoin the group again at that point); OR 3) someone will force the issue, and demand that I respond, not knowing that I have lost connection with my train of thought. Remember that since I have few natural social skills, the ones I exhibit are the result of careful planning, stored information, and repetition. Thus, with stored information blacked out, I am suddenly thrust into an alien world when expected to make any type of immediate outward relation to another person. Now I am forced to figure out a socially appropriate response without my mental database of scripts to draw from. When that happens my mind races so quickly that it does not grasp onto anything, and the resulting outburst you see is nothing more, and nothing less, than the frustration associated with being in a seemingly no-win situation that can't be escaped. I say "no-win" because it's basically a given that if I make a response at that point it will be an inappropriate one, and if I do not respond at all (i.e. remain in shut down mode) the party addressing me will incorrectly deduce that I am insulted or that I disapprove of what they have told me. Thus the frustration you see is usually the result of not knowing what to do and having no way to gather the needed information in time, rather than being the result of the actual thing that was said or done.

It's analogous to the girl in the horror movie who screams maniacally because the monster is about to eat her and she is backed into a corner with nowhere to run except into the monster's jaws. Only in my case, the figurative "monster" is invisible, and when I react to what is very real to me, no one else can really see or relate to it and so it appears that I am grossly overreacting to a less significant, but more visible, incident. What happens is basically the people around me displace the feeling of "lost-ness," to which I am actually reacting, to the visible situation that apparently caused the outburst. Back to the analogy, if the monster in the horror movie were not visible it might appear as though the woman were screaming because she had reached a corner, and moviegoers might similarly believe this to be an over-reaction because she could seemingly just go in a different direction. They would not realize why she was really pinned into the corner.

Once I began to realize the effect that these shutdowns and meltdowns had on other people, I began to go out of my way to find ways of avoiding them. I would be willing to bet that other autistic people, whether it be by non-compliance or over-compliance, are making a nonverbal effort to avoid this terrifying situation, especially since a person reacting to it will inevitably compound the problem by making a further environmental change (trying to "help") rather than rewinding or pausing the situation (depending on circumstances) to allow for processing.

SO WHAT CAN BE DONE?

First of all, remember that meltdowns are ten times as horrific to the person doing it than they are to the people observing it, so punishing the behavior is unnecessary. Trust me when I tell you I don't do it for attention or to force my way. The panic I feel is involuntary and simply has to be dealt with in the right manner in order to keep it from overtaking me completely.

The key thing to remember about a full-scale meltdown is that once it is in full force, it is too late to rationalize with the person concerning the issue that apparently set it off. Why? Because the reason for the panic is not what you think it is. He is not throwing a fit because he doesn't want to do what you told him. Rather, it is because he has become disoriented and lost in all of the sensory input. As a result, he cannot resolve the fact that you appear dissatisfied with what he is currently doing. So seeing no other recourse, he becomes gripped with anxiety, panics, and melts down -- and will not be able to regain composure until he can figuratively get his feet back on solid ground. That means that if you try and resolve the situation by punishing him, scolding him, or forcing him through the task you've given him, you're only going to make him progressively more frantic because all he is going to see is that you are becoming progressively more displeased. The person has to first calm down before anything else can happen. The fit has to literally de-escalate in the reverse order in which it happened. In other words, if the meltdown happened in this order:

change in plans--->question/resistance-->zone out-->tantrum

then it can only de-escalate as such:

tantrum--->zone out-->question/resistance-->change in plans

In other words, if I'm having a meltdown, I must first CALM DOWN. Nothing is rational during a full meltdown, so don't even try. Hold me, rock me, reassure me, lock me in a padded room, whatever, but don't ask anything else of my mind -- at this point it just does not exist.

Once I calm down, now the tricky part -- where did the problem begin? I have to re-trace my steps to that point and re-boot. This is where so many people make the mistake of displacing the problem. In order to continue from where I was before the situation got ugly, I have to go back to the point NOT immediately prior to the outward meltdown, but rather, back to the point at which I first showed trouble. This point is usually marked by a question or a look of utter confusion or exasperation. It's vitally important to re-trace steps. If I can accomplish this (it can be done more quickly with the help of at least one patient or un-offended person), then all I have to do is re-compute, which means going back to the process described at the beginning of this chapter -- I re-assess my circumstances and once again become aware of the possible outcomes of my actions in this new set of circumstances. Once I have done this I will be functional once again, and will do well if all memory of the past few minutes is erased as completely as possible. Any references to my previous behavior will put further doubt into my mind as to my level of acceptance and cause me to be much more reserved (in essence prolonging the shut down period), which means keeping me on edge and thus much less fun to be around.

So to make a long story shorter, if you don't want the meltdowns to happen, you must prevent the panic and frustration from erupting in the first place. Eruption can usually be avoided by recognizing the warning signs:

*Sudden and dramatic increase in stimming behavior (caused by a sudden feeling of alarm or panic)

*Zoning out (can be misconstrued as refusal to comply)

*Asking analytical questions when a change of plans or sudden command is issued (can be misconstrued as arguing or back-talking)

*Muttering to oneself (this is a means of "thinking out loud." Think of it as a sort of an auditory stim, and a means of getting one's bearings in an emotional sense. Parents -- if you can't understand what he's saying, don't assume it's personal and call him out on it. You'll pull the trigger.

If you observe these signs it can help matters if you'll give some time for processing. I know a lot of parents want immediate compliance, but sometimes this is beyond our emotional threshold. I always found that it helped me considerably if I was told way ahead of time if there was a big "to-do" coming up, and periodically reminded about it. Predictability can do wonders. I got better when I learned to tell time. I wore a watch around from the time I was in first grade, and even before that, I consistently used a clock as my guide. As long as I could predict when things were going to happen, it was easier to plan my perseverations in accordance. Often my mom would warn me 30 minutes to an hour in advance of mealtime, bath time, and bedtime, especially if the planned times deviated from the norm. Because of this, I think it would help any autistic person if they are given a watch as soon as they are able to comprehend numbers. Once they learn how to tell time, their watch will be a valuable tool in preventing the meltdowns that happen because of predictable or routine events. That will free up the parent to deal only with the more spontaneous events, and it will allow the child more time to focus on them as well.

I never really resented doing as I was told, but sometimes a sudden command went completely against my mental script for the day, so doing it required a new script, which usually took some time to formulate. In short, a person who is exhibiting the aforementioned warning signals is telling you that some down time is needed and should be allowed.

Let me say, at this point, that I noticed when I worked with preschoolers that some kids, especially those on the low end of the spectrum, tend to seemingly go into meltdown instantly, without the warning signs, and I think it may be that they have not yet developed the mental lines of defense that, in my case, came from wanting to please others and realizing that outward tantrums accomplished just the opposite.

Now mind you, I'm not saying that your child should be allowed to not obey in order to avoid meltdowns. What I'm saying is, see if you can get to the root of why a particular command set the person off. Rest assured that there is a deeper reason than him just not wanting to comply, and it probably has something to do with him not being able to process the amount of information that was thrust upon him at once.

Some people mention their children hiding in bedrooms, closets, bathrooms, etc. either during or after having meltdowns. Although all autistics are different and I can’t speak for all of them, I know that if I were hiding in a secluded area after a meltdown it would be for one of two reasons:

1) I need to be away from the people I've been around in order to calm down. These people are either causing the meltdown directly, or making it worse by forcing me to respond to them while I'm emotionally/mentally incapacitated.

2) I am aware of the uproar that my behavior has caused and am afraid to face my peers because I assume they are still mad at me for it. If they are, and they question me about it, it could re-ignite the meltdown -- which I want to avoid at any cost -- so since I can't go out there, the only thing I know to do is seclude myself for as long as possible. The more time that elapses between my tantrum and my return will be more of a buffer to the other kids' memory, and maybe if I stay away long enough, they'll forget it completely or be out of the mood to talk about it by the time I return.

In the case of Scenario #2, the child has begun to realize that his actions are not appropriate. He is also realizing that he does not know how to control the behavior. This is where self image begins to come in and it can be a breeding ground for anxiety and depression. If the person is beginning to hide himself from others, the first and foremost thing to do is give him his space. When he does come back (and he will), make sure he knows that he is still accepted. You can always address the thing that initially upset him at a later time. Just remember that he is having as much trouble coping with this as you are, and the last thing you want is for him to begin to feel like he is expendable or unwanted.

Once the person's emotions have boiled over, and he is in full-scale panic, the only thing you can do is freeze frame the situation and allow it to pass. You can't actually communicate with your child when he is in this condition. Once he comes out of it he will revert back to the shut down stage, which is where you can begin to bring him (or he can begin to bring himself) back to earth.

As I said (and I'm not assuming that any particular kid applies here) some kids on the very low end of the spectrum seemed to go off into meltdown immediately without showing any cognitive warning signs at all. Regardless of why this occurs, I am fairly certain that these sudden meltdowns are for similar, albeit simpler reasons, and should probably be dealt with in the same way, as calming down was still always the first vital step with these children in the recovery process.

Also, remember this: there is always a noticeable outward expression of some sort when I use the term "meltdown," but different kids/people express it in different ways, and this is mainly due to individual disposition. Regardless of how the tantrum manifests itself, however, the emotion is the same: gripping fear, panic, or anguish sufficient to obstruct rational thought or logical reasoning. Just because one kid is throwing himself through walls or windows does not mean that he is not equally as inconsolable as the kid who is simply screaming on the floor or crying secretly in his room. And thus, the problem must be dealt with in the same manner, regardless of what it looks like from the outside.

The most confusing thing about this whole difference of thinking styles is that often you see behavior in autistic individuals that mirrors that of NT individuals, and because NT is the norm, outside observers will usually displace the NT thought process onto the autistic individual, when many times this assumption is incorrect and thus causes major communication problems and misunderstandings.

The meltdown or tantrum is among the best examples of autistic vs. NT shared behavior. Both NT kids and autistic kids exhibit this phenomenon. The difference you ask? The biggest difference in my opinion is the reason the tantrum is being thrown. In the NT child it is most often because he did not get his way (and tantrumming has achieved his way in the past). In the autistic child it is more often because a stimulus has become too overbearing and he is unable to regulate his environment. He becomes gripped by terror once he loses the ability to regulate and comprehend these stimuli, and outwardly expresses it by screaming, crying, hitting, etc. because he lacks the means to communicate his need for help. His is more often driven by fear than it is by anger.

To further complicate things, NT kids can occasionally show meltdown- type episodes in response to an intense fear, and likewise autistic kids can show meltdowns that are anger driven, but these reverse scenarios occur less often, and are usually less severe.

A good example of this: my NT mother will exhibit a meltdown if she sees a spider cross the room. Why? She has an unnatural fear of spiders, of course. And once the spider is either dead or outside, the panic subsides. Why? Because the stimulus has been removed. She didn't freak out because she is autistic; but rather because she encountered a stimulus that invoked uncontrollable panic. A problem easily solved because she immediately communicates that she's scared of the spider, and to stop the fiasco, someone either smashes the spider or captures it and takes it outside (two guesses who always chooses the latter option ).

Now let's bring in an autistic child who has limited pragmatics skills, if even verbal skills to begin with, and confront him with his worst fear: lack of self regulation. Just like my mom, he freaks out. So to solve the problem, you just remove the stimulus, right? Now how are you gonna do that? First of all, you think he's screaming because he didn't like what you told him to do or because you suddenly took his toy away. So IF you were going to appease him, what would you do? You'd fix the wrong stimulus of course. Sure he might stop crying if you gave him his toy back, but only because the toy is his comfort zone right now and it's the only thing his mind is prepared to deal withat the moment. He'd have been happy to have come with you if he'd somehow known ahead of time that you would need him at that moment. And because he is unable to communicate this very complex emotional situation to you, verbal or not, you experience a much more lengthy, and much more severe meltdown than you saw with the NT person whose stimulus was easily communicated and subsequently removed.

The point is, and MAKE SURE YOU GET THIS, autism is a neurological problem, NOT a behavioral problem. Now don't get me wrong -- there are no less than a dozen behavioral flags that are a reliable signal for autism, but the the thing is that the behavior itself is not the root of the problem (although that's usually all that ever gets looked at).

In other words, I don't stare off into space because I am autistic. I stare off because my mind has outrun my body and I need a minute (or two) to re-align myself. I could re-align myself by asking questions, but since I lack the pragmatic skills to do it correctly, I would likely be accused of being hard to get along with, impatient, or pushy, which would lead to further stimuli that would send me over the edge into panic. While it looks like I am doing absolutely nothing, what I am in fact doing is taking a moment to wrap up the thought process that has raced out of control in my head, and bring my thinking back around to where I'm actually at and what I'm actually doing.

In other words, the mental lapses and lack of pragmatics are the direct result of autism, whereas the meltdowns, zoning out, and stimming behavior are a direct result of needing to discreetly correct a mental lapse or gain bearings, and thus an indirect result of autism. Therefore, a behavior such as zoning out can be shared by NT individuals, who may also need to "take a moment," but perhaps not under those circumstances, and not as urgently -- they can often use their social ability to utilize the other people around them for comfort. Thus they can push through and "take a moment" at their leisure, unnoticed. The autistic person on the other hand, recognizes that his peers, through their lack of understanding, pose a further threat at the moment rather than a comfort. Thus immediate self- soothing is necessary to prevent making a scene. Furthermore, the autistic person may instinctively zone out without putting any thought to it, because due to his social blindness, he does not realize that other people are watching him and judging him.

It is for this reason, above all others in my opinion (and mind you there are others), that autistic behavior is so badly misunderstood.


Hope this helps to clear things up. Feel free to ask about what you don't get.

That's long!
I am the parent who unintentionally wrote meltdown/tantrum.
Actually, it was intentional, as I didn't now whether to interpret my son's behaviour as AS or NT.
I do know there is a difference, and I didn't mean to offend anyone

That said, your post is very interesting and full of insight. It will definately help me understand my HFA son, so thanks!!

WOW, thank you for taking the time to write all that!

I think most of us have figured a lot of it out (there was a thread a while back on telling the difference between behavior issues v. an incident related to the AS condition), but it sure would have been nice to NOT have to figure it out on my own! Perhaps this should be required reading for every parent new to the spectrum. Something for the article section. It is very very important to hear these things from the autistic's side.

This information (with a lot of examples and helpfultips) is available in The Explosive Child by Dr. Ross Greene. It describes the reasons for meltdowns and when and how a parent should prioritize "behavior" issues. It also goes into educating the family how to prevent meltdowns and shutdowns in the first place.

It gets us Aspies in defensive mode when we hear "tantrum" but we should recognize that autistic kids are still kids and are fully capable of tantrums. Dr. Temple Grandin warns of mishandling autistics and that they can learn to manipulate the people around them with tantrums/meltdowns. It's pointless to try and determine which is which. You should just handle the child consistently.

Yes. but the question is where to draw the line?
"The Explosive Child" examplifies this. Some behaviour, which is not exceptable in NTs, is not worth a meltdown in an explosive child!

I think you can tell after the fact, however, don't you? My Aspie son can't get himself to stop being upset once he's melted down. He can no longer sort out WHAT he wants. My NT daughter, however - give her what she wants, and you have instant happiness.

It's funny, I just realized, that I can't get myself to do the "book reading thing," when it comes to Aspergers. It's like I decided there was no handbook, started talking to Aspies for themselves, and do read articles, have seen some Temple Gradin interviews ... but a book? I really don't care for that type of reading, maybe that is why I've avoided it. The only parenting books I've ever read are the medical/factual ones, and then only as reference guide, looking up the current issue. I can't absorb someone else's summary of someone else's experience, I guess. And SO much wives-tale information is out there ... how the heck do you know WHO to read? So I don't. But to hear someone describe what they, themselves, go through - I find that very powerful.

Yeah, I'm not real big on semantics, as you'll find out. If I hear it referred to as "meltdown" or "tantrum," then that's how I'll refer to it as I care more about getting my point across than I do being PC. When it's all said and done it is waht it is, no matter what you call it, just like "autistic" vs. "has autism." Please.

Well I'm sure Dr. Greene is well-versed and all, and I have no reason to doubt him (I've actually never heard of him ), but I'm only looking at it from my own perspective, and also I'm trying to go by what I would have rather had done in the past vs. the way I was actually treated. I have written several chapters on various autism issues from my own perspective (but I only have them on Microsoft Word as I still fear that trying to publish it all would rob me of my privacy more so than it would help people understand). This meltdown excerpt is part of one of those chapters, combined with an applicable piece of the chapter on compliance issues.

Last edited by stickboy26 on 28 Mar 2008, 7:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'd read a lot of the stuff BEFORE I had an autistic child, which is quite ironic actually (Uta Frith, Temple Grandin, Wing, Atwood).
Then I had kids - realised NT child raising wasn't something you could do by reading a book, as fads change all the time.
Read the Explosive Child when my son was explosive, and realised what I was doing was right.
Read "Thinking in pictures" which was really good helping me understand my son - probably the most usefull book I've read. I've realised that we speak fundamentally different languages, and what that means when my son communicates and has to deal with the NT world. How he thinks about experiences, abstract stuff, time and how he uses language.
Most of the other stuff I've read has been genetics - hardcore stuff.

One of the most insightfull comments I've heard was Temple Grandin saying that PDD meant that all aspects of behaviour were related to ASD. This gave me the peace to realise that interpretting my son's behaviour through "autism glasses" all the time was on the right track.

I hope I do not offend anyone, yet you cannot just have a "tantrum"or "meltdown" these days .
There are consequences for your actions. These days we must be "careful." You could lose your job. You could be arrested and charged with something.I understand where Stickboy26 is coming from,yet we are responsible for our actions.
We need to understand AS and control our anger /etc as best as we can . We need to be alert to possible "tantrums" and deal with it as best as possible.I wish you the best.

Well I'm not offended, however I do see that you missed my point of the importance of wanting to prevent total overload from happening. Of course I realize that there are consequences, hence the awareness of what a meltdown is to begin with. That actually becomes an antecedent in and of itself once you become aware of it. That's why I generally prelude an overload with a shutdown and/or physical withdrawal.

Allow me to quote my original post in case you overlooked this. I italicized it for a reason...



Getting away in the nick of time prevents making a scene and shows a recognition of what a public meltdown can cause, but that's totally beside the point of why the emotional reaction happens in the first place.

I realize it's a long post, but if you miss that point, then you are missing a lot. Not to mention inadvertently undermining my entire purpose for posting this.

I didn't necessarily post this for the adult aspies to read, as I assume they are already all too aware of it. But a lot of parents and NTs really don't get what's behind it, and they need to be made to undersand as best they can, especially when dealing with children who cannot communicate this very complex emotional process.

My son and I have learned together a lot of the signs that lead to meltdowns. Understanding what is happening DURING a meltdown leaves it VERY clear that the best way to handle one is to PREVENT it. As parents, absolutely, we work with our children on this: learning to understand what situations trigger it, to recognize the build up, and to have useful patterns for dealing with the situation so that an actual meltdown doesn't end up occuring.

If my son says, "I'm starting to freak out," I take a solid look at him, realize he isn't play acting (it's very clear in his eyes), and do whatever it takes to get him away from the negative stimulation. I'll drop everything if he says that. It is THAT important to BOTH of us, that actual meltdowns be effectively managed by being stopped before they occur.

He has gotten really good over the past two years at knowing well beforehand to change course. We rarely even get to the warning stage any more - he has usually managed things long before that.

But, would we have learned all this if we hadn't understood where meltdowns come from in the first place? Probably not. I am grateful that he was very effective in communicating with me, after the fact, what had been happening, so that we could work on a management plan together. Not all children will be that self-aware, which is why parents DO need to be able to see inside the mind of someone on the specturm who is inside a meltdown.

Really great post.

Yes. I wish my parents would have realized that punishment just made things worse. Trying to talk to me and scold me while this all was happening made things worse. Commenting about how badly I was acting and making me feel as though I was a bad, out-of-control person made things worse. I know these situations were hard on them and I certainly know I said some pretty terrible things, but I wish they would not have responded by saying terrible things themselves! I was the child and the one with an emotional regulation problem. I needed a little slack. I didn't need behaviorist stuff about being taught the consequences of my actions. These situations were already miserable. I did not want them to happen any more than they did. If you want to talk to your child about the behavior, do it well after they've calmed down, perhaps the next day. Children are not dogs who will forget what they're being scolded for if it doesn't happen immediately. (I'm not speaking about any specific person here, I am commenting about my own parents.)



Interesting hypothesis. I don't have much of a warning system in many situations, yet I'm definitely on the milder end of the spectrum. It just goes to show that functioning labels may not always be accurate.



Yes. If enough time elapses, I can revert to being perfectly content. Of course, this has caused problems. I sometimes would blow up at my mom on the way to school, and then almost forget about it by the time she picked me up. The problem was that she'd still be mad at me. Parents should try not to take insults or curse words thrown about in a meltdown too personally. The child most likely does not mean the things which he or she says.

In the case of Scenario #2, the child has begun to realize that his actions are not appropriate. He is also realizing that he does not know how to control the behavior. This is where self image begins to come in and it can be a breeding ground for anxiety and depression. If the person is beginning to hide himself from others, the first and foremost thing to do is give him his space. When he does come back (and he will), make sure he knows that he is still accepted. You can always address the thing that initially upset him at a later time. Just remember that he is having as much trouble coping with this as you are, and the last thing you want is for him to begin to feel like he is expendable or unwanted.

[quoteThe meltdown or tantrum is among the best examples of autistic vs. NT shared behavior. Both NT kids and autistic kids exhibit this phenomenon. The difference you ask? The biggest difference in my opinion is the reason the tantrum is being thrown. In the NT child it is most often because he did not get his way (and tantrumming has achieved his way in the past). In the autistic child it is more often because a stimulus has become too overbearing and he is unable to regulate his environment. He becomes gripped by terror once he loses the ability to regulate and comprehend these stimuli, and outwardly expresses it by screaming, crying, hitting, etc. because he lacks the means to communicate his need for help. His is more often driven by fear than it is by anger.

To further complicate things, NT kids can occasionally show meltdown- type episodes in response to an intense fear, and likewise autistic kids can show meltdowns that are anger driven, but these reverse scenarios occur less often, and are usually less severe.[/quote]

I don't know about that. I've had a lot of anger problems over the years, and pretty short patience. Although many of meltdowns looked like a typical kid who didn't get her way, a lot of it had to do with the fact that I just could not deal with things going differently from how I expected them to go in my head. I wasn't trying just to get my way (though that has sometimes been the result), but simply could not deal with changing the plan very quickly. People have constantly misinterpreted my actions to mean "spoiled and manipulative girl" but that has rarely been the case.

I can't tell you how helpful this thread is...the original post by stickboy26, the book suggestions and subsequent posts. I am going to have my husband read it ASAP. He has a tendency to miss the fact that our son is getting overloaded and continues to push. Needless to say we have been having a lot of meltdowns around here lately.

You should write a book. Great info. To the point, and very informative and interesting! Thanks

I'm not one of the confused, but thanks for sharing. I think some parents are here to get support and a release/vent because it's needed and it's a forum where they can do so without judgment and get feedback from those who've been there. I don't think most of these parents are misinformed about the breakdown of a trantrum.

However, I like the way you put it. Succint and right to the point. A really good post. Thank you.

Thank you stickyboy. That is a really helpful insight. My son was only diagnosed in November and as a family we are only slowly learning how to deal with and prevent meltdowns. It was great to have some idea of what it is like for him.