overwhelmed by parenting-- for parents with AS or who are NT

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The best part of parenting is seeing the final product at about 30 years old!

I thought it was stressful when I had my kids at home. That was before autism was part of my vocabulary.

But I had it easy compared to my NT daughter with 2 on the spectrum.

Aspie parents should be given respite in bush cabins for a month each year. While they are on retreat their homes should be spring cleaned, their houses repaired and their gardens made over.

Oh all right. NT parents can have 3.5 weeks retreat!

Sounds just like I am.


If its any consolation at all, my children have survived me very well. I have one very NT and one possibly on the spectrum somewhere or with ADD/ADHD inclinations - we didn't have that one diagnosed, however, both are in their twenties now and when they have compared me to other mums we knew when they were growing up, they have said they were glad they got me. I expect yours will say that too one day : )

Yes it is. I found that taking myself out just to the library or out for a cup of tea in the park or something helped when I was overwhelmed. I used to sometimes pay a childminder if I was desperate for space just so I could save myself from it all.

One thing is that I never did anything or even said anything that wasn't absolutely necessary for their safety and wellbeing, it just wasn't in me and in that way (unknown to me at the time) I avoided a lot of the stress and arguments that other parents had with their children and teenagers.

Both of mine still live with me and the one I believe to be on a spectrum of some kind is hard work even now though since I have spoken about my own AS and said that he may also be on the spectrum, things have improved, he seems to take it better now when I wish to be on my own. What I am saying is that things do eventually get better, so hang in there.

I love my empty nest.
I no longer run outside, jump in the car, and drive away screaming where I hope no one hears me.

It's wonderful to read your experiences. So different but yet so similar.

I have an AS 5yo and a NT 3yo as well as a 3 month old baby. My AS son takes up way more emotional and physical time and energy than the other 2 combined. I am amazed when my AS son is at preschool at how easy the others are. It has only been recently that I have acknowledged how exhausting parenting my AS son is. I think it has given me a greater insight into my own ability to cope ( or not!! !) and made me realise that I really need to plan time away from the home without my children to be a better (or even decent) parent. I think that as parents of kids with AS we all deserve medals each and every day. Even the good days are exhausting.

OMG, I thought I was evil, wrong, and a bad parent for thinking that. It is so nice to hear another person say it and that it can get better.

No it just changes slightly. You get depressed, Child don't mind. Child does make a standpoint that you are in Simpsons. Change that and wake up. I'm exhasted. 04 about one of my sons started the worst nosebleed I've experienced. It's local time 20 past 6 but when i managed to clean up the bathroom it was four in the morning.

i like nannarob's idea
i could use a even a weekend, away and have someone come in and do some clenaing and organizing. i'd take 3.5 days.

i think it's just so overwhelming some days and i hope that my kiddos thrive in spite of me and my shortcomings.
sometimes i would just like to run away too. but a large part of this may be due to the single parent thing. it just seems to make it more overwhelming depending on the kind of day i am having, i know as a parent i am supposed to be able to keeep it together and do it all but somedays i just cant, most days i make a bad decision or two or twelve throughout the day, but ther's honestly only so much i can take.
now if i could just get their dad to set up a regular visitation schedule so i can get a life or at least know i can do something so i can get out around others or learn something new. as i am one who needs to be taught and shown how to do something.
it's funny that i have become less social over time, i like to be around people but never quite feel like i fit anywhere so it makes it awkward.

sorry just having a rough week.

That sums up my feelings! I have twins so I can really see the difference it 2 kids the same age going through the same things at the same time. My son has AS and Sensory issues and its so much harder to deal with him some days, he drains me with his melt downs. Its a emotional and physical roller coaster that we never know if your going to be going up the hill or come crashing down. So sometimes the tip-toeing around somethings so we don't have the melt down puts a strain in our house. But on that same note he makes us laugh all the time and can melt your heart with just a hug.

Its the hardest job ever being a parent and then throw AS on top of it...its rough!